I mean.. REALLY?!?

Ok so WAY BACK WHEN around the time I started this whole thing, I said something about crazy mom annoyances... Well for the past few days as I tend to my family, house and life, for some reason those THINGS seem to be popping up all over the place! Will my husband read this... perhaps.. Kids? HA! Even still... This one goes out to them so that we're ALL on the same page... I swear, when SO MANY of these things hit me so much, it's like we're not even on the same shelf, let alone IN the same book. This is going to clear some lingering questions you might have and myths you may have believed in for so long... All of these have happened to me rather recently... So again... To my darling family.... THIS IS FOR YOU! FACTS, brought to you by MOM...


Myth and Truths. Number...

One:

Myth: There is a fairy who collects the scattered dirty laundry and somehow replaces it with nice smelling clean clothes.

Truth: NO FAIRY... JUST MOM! And how the laundry remains scattered throughout the house while EVERYONE has a laundry basket in their room is something I'll never know!

Two:

Myth: The fridge magically restocks itself. Whatever you feel like eating or drinking will appear if you only say the words out loud or think it!

Truth: I go grocery shopping every week, some times more than once.. EVERY time I go to the store I ask the same asinine question... "Do you need or want anything while I'm there?" This is the answer I get 98% of the time.. "No" YET, when I make it home with the groceries after touring the store, waiting in line, paying, lugging them from the store to the car then from the car to the house and restock the fridge, there is ALWAYS someone who opens it up and says something like... "Didn't you get any __________?" Umm.. Did you tell me that? NO! Magic fridge... I WISH!

Three:

Myth: Leaving lights on at night doesn't cost money. Every light is free to use so why not use them ALL!

Truth: I know that my house gets dark... I also know that I have small children who are not fans of the dark... However... They (especially my middle child who is ironically the pitch black sleep walker...) will not go from the living through the dining room into the hallway to get to the bathroom without turning every one of those lights on... When they are finished, they KEEP THEM ON! I have gone over it again and again that every single thing we plug in costs money INCLUDING the lights... Apparently they don't believe me.. I might have to consider turning them off at the breaker box and giving them a flash light! We'll see how they like that for a day...

Four:

Myth: You can use the special shampoo mom uses to wash the dog. And there's no such thing as too much!

Truth: WRONG! We get dog shampoo from the pet store and MOM shampoo from the beauty store.. Big difference.. Mostly in PRICE! And it's bad enough that I use it.. even worse for it to be wasted on the dog!!!

Five:

Myth: Saying "I'm hungry" means that I should be allowed to eat any or all of the following: Chocolate, ice cream, chips, suckers, or popsicles. It's all food if I can eat it!

Truth: When you're TRULY hungry, your body is wanting some ACTUAL sustenance.. Sadly, such things are not found in ice cream, candy and cookies (unless you stuff your face). Instead... Try something GOOD like string cheese, an apple, yogurt or some carrots!


Six:

Myth: Mom likes to be the one to change the toilet paper and paper towel roll. It's like a game!

Truth: A game huh... Let's call a big Bull S**t on THAT noise! And we'll leave it at that!

Seven:

Myth: It's ok to leave your TV on in your room if you're going to back in there sometime that day. It's easier than turning it off then on then off then on...

Truth: I get so tired of seeing my children in the living room and HEARING "My Little Pony" music coming from their TV in their bedroom.. Another repeated question... "Did you guys turn off your TV?" And with that, one of them usually gets up, scurries in there and turns it off... It is NOT ok to leave it on.. I'm waiting for them to tell me something crazy like "The ghosts wanted to watch it.." Until then.. NOT IMPRESSED!

Eight:

Myth: When mom says "Clean your room" it doesn't mean ACTUALLY clean it. Instead, it means just get everything out of sight. Good stashing places include under the bed, dresser drawers, the back of the closet, on top of the dressers or book shelves and under the Lego table!

Truth: No, no, no... When mom says "clean your room", it means put your crap where it GOES! I am one of those "everything has a place" kind of people... Your nightgown stuffed between books on your shelf... I don't think so.. Sort it, throw it, CLEAN IT! Sadly, some times I break down and really clean it... Damn you OCD....

Nine:

Myth: There must be a maid that comes when we're not home... Who else would vacuum, dust and MOP? Yeah, we definitely have a maid..

Truth: The truth is that mom is stuck in a constant cycle of pickup, wipe down, and disinfect... It's a routine that consists of many small things.. Examples include and are not limited to: Mopping, sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, scrubbing counter tops, table tops, toilets, sinks, and shelves, washing, drying and sorting laundry, rinsing and washing dishes, taking out trash, and so on.... Ask me if I WISH I had a maid.. Well in truth, I wish I had a robot who did it all!

There are MORE believe me... But now we'll move on to a few FACTS... Maybe you are unaware and so.. READ!


Fact Number...

One: The cylinder with handles that sits in the corner of your bedroom or bathroom is known as a LAUNDRY BASKET. It will not hurt you.. In fact, it will HELP you decipher your dirty clothes from your clean clothes.. AND it will make doing laundry THAT much easier without anyone having to do the "smell test" (yeah...gross..) to see what needs to be washed! Laundry basket... good thing! FACT!

Two: If you make coffee with a traditional pot and filter... Use these three simple steps... Make it, enjoy it, CLEAN IT! Fact is... if you only have coffee with this particular pot once a week or so and you LEAVE the used filter in the machine, the next time you go to use it you will be greeted with the previous weeks grounds and a bonus.. MOLD! FACT!

Three: If you don't plug in your game or tablet, IT WON'T WORK. Like an annoying phone or any other game thing around these days, it needs HOURS to charge to be fully annoying. The simple thing to do... When you are done playing with it, plug it in! But instead.. Play with it, set it down somewhere, a while rolls by then I hear "Mom, my thing won't turn on..." Hmmm....

Four: When mom says something like "You can't watch this, it's too scary and will probably give you nightmares." IT'S TRUE! The fact is... Mom KNOWS how you are and what scares you! (And doesn't want to hear "Can I sleep with you..." at 2am) One day, when you're a little older and can handle fake gore and everything else without it disrupting your dreams for a month, you will be able to chill with the horror crowd.. Until then... Just pretend mom knows what she's talking about.

Five: Among other things, tiny Lego and Barbie pieces can (and will) be sucked up by the vacuum cleaner. It takes very little effort to scoop up all of the treasured little pieces kids like to play with.. However, it takes even LESS to let the vac do the scooping. Think about that when mom says "pick up your toys!" If you don't, the vacuum will...


I could and WOULD go on with this list of fun facts for DAYS if I wasn't hearing "Mom!!! I'm hungry... can I eat some candy??" I guess I have to go assemble dinner.... :/ Thanks for catching all of my venting.... -Super Mom

Halloween is done.. at least we went out with a bang!

Halloween... Hands down my favorite holiday of the year... Unlike every other holiday, Halloween is unchanged in tradition and ever changing in detail. I love it so much because I don't have to buy gifts for people, worry about people getting gifts for me, you can scare people and they can't really get mad about since it's the way of the season, getting to dress up and decorate, fun creepy parties and of course.. CANDY! I spent months getting ready to host a costume party a week before Halloween. It was a good turn out with some great costumes even though HALF of the people invited didn't bother to show. I was bummed but realized that the people who DID show up made the party great. Then the week went by and it was time to get ready for trick or treating. I have three children. Three daughters... They are ten, seven and almost eleven months old. My two older daughters have had their costumes for a few weeks. Both of them wanted to be scary so they were mad murderous Alice and a bloody faced vampire. Both were made up with dark eye makeup and B L O O D... Then it was down to the baby... This was after all, her very first Halloween... It had to be good and memorable. I looked online all through September... EVERYTHING I found was all cutesy and exaggerated.. Baby elephant... baby unicorn... baby garden gnome? Yeah... NO THANKS! Aside from being pricey for a one nights use and only a foot and a half of material, MY baby doesn't really like having hats and things on her head unless it's a bow that I slip in quickly.. So that fact made it even harder to buy a cutesy little costume.. To spend $45 so my daughter could spend her first Halloween as a headless unicorn... NOPE! Not interested. So then I started thinking of "scary" baby costumes.. There are a few creative people out there who have made some spooky little costumes work for their kids.. I saw Jack Skellington, Edward Scissorhands, even cute little Chucky dolls... I already have people saying "Awe, what a cute little boy" just because she sometimes wears blue. They somehow miss her pierced ears, pink doll and pink shoes... But anyway.. I didn't want to deliberately set her up as a boy.. even on Halloween! So then I got to thinking... What can I make that's creepy, adorable, creative and still show she's a girl.... Then I got it! An awesome idea inspired by one of my favorite shows... The reactions were amazing! We didn't go by anyone without pulling their eyes, getting ooo's and ahhh's.. among other things like "sweet!", "That's awesome!" and so on.. I have to admit that I ate it up. I didn't need candy that night because my ego monster was full enough for the both of us! :) All three of my girls looked great but the baby was a HIT! She put all those cutesy kids to shame and was full of smiles for all the people admiring her and her costume. It was a great! It's sad that the spooky season is over and before we know it, Christmas will be here... I'm glad that we went out with a bang. :) Until next year.. I hope you all had a fun, freaky, scary, great and safe Halloween! Check out my youngest daughters very first Halloween costume... ;)

 It doesn't take much to take something simple and make it awesome! Happy Halloween!!! -Super Mom

A big THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

THANKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! -Super Mom





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EEK! I would settle for a boring dream ANY DAY!

Good evening everyone...
I started writing this early because I had a very trippy and somewhat frightening dream last night... Normally, I wouldn't really SHARE these kinds.. But this was the first one like this I've ever had and I'm hoping it's the last! Sadly I had to do real life things before I could wrap it up this morning but after finally getting a chance to SIT DOWN and TYPE, I was able to finish it! Ok, enough blabbing... Let's get to it...

***Dream Sequence Starting Now***

I walk into a coffee shop and sit at the counter. I am not someone who usually visits coffee shops (since I don't drink coffee..) but this one was intriguing to me because it had all kinds of Halloween decorations outside and had a sweet sign saying "Come on in, if you dare... Come on in for a hellish scare!" How could I NOT go in and at least check out this "scare". So I go inside.. When I first go in, I see gobs of chunky spider webs strung up along the walls and ceiling. They are complete with hand sized spiders and other various insects. Not scary... There was a goblin statue taller than me standing behind the counter in the corner... Pretty cool.. but not scary.. I look around at the other store bought typical decorations and decide that the "hellish scare" sign was just a rouse to get me in the door to buy some damn coffee... Disappointed, I sit on one of the overly tall spinning stools at the counter. A man who was about 4'8" or so came waddling out from a set of doors behind the counter I hadn't noticed until then. He grunted as he scaled up what I assumed to be a foot stool of some kind. Then after a few huffs and puffs he was eye level with me. "Hey there sweetie! What can I get ya?" To humor him a little, I pretended to gaze up at the menu trying to figure out what I wanted. "Take your time. We've had some uh... changes so it might take a minute to find the perfect concoction." He was now rifling through some bins under the counter while he spoke. I started to say "Actually, I think I'll be..." Before I could finish my sentence telling him I was about to leave, I actually READ some of the things up on the big menu board. "Connie's left eye cocktail", "Menards musky melon juice", "Grizelda's gory cocoa" and other similar "spooky" simulated names littered the board. It reminded me of the Halloween decorations I would put in my kitchen around this time of the year. I chuckled a little as I kept reading. I swear I had been turned toward the door when I was talking to him but now I found myself facing the counter with both feet up on the rung of the stool like I had never planned to leave at all. The guy appeared from beneath the counter once more and leaned on one arm while he asked "I think I know what you need.. You uh, you're not scared by any of THIS are ya?" He asked while motioning to the decorations. "Not really... No." I said with a hint of a smile. "Yup, I know what you need. It's brand new, not even on the board yet! You'll love it!" He hopped off his little stool and darted through the doors behind him. While debating whether or not I should stay or go, I glanced around and noticed something very weird for a coffee shop in the middle of the day... I was the ONLY customer. I looked out the front windows by the door and it looked like it was the middle of the night! "Window tint... good one.." I thought as I spun back to the counter. I figured the guy must've been bored and was happy to have SOMEONE in the shop so I decided I would stay and see what this grand concoction was. As my swivel back to the counter came to a stop, I was startled to see the guy already standing eye to eye with me. He hadn't been gone that long at all and I never heard him come back! He was holding a frothy drink that was green on top and looked black on the bottom. It even seemed to have a little bit of a fog rolling off the top. Ok, it was a very cool looking drink and I'm sure it was just a colored type of coffee or cappuccino. "What kind of drink is this? I only ask because I don't really drink coffee... At all.." His smile widened a little further than what I thought it could.. It made him almost look not real. "It IS your lucky day then! This here isn't coffee. It actually tastes like Pepsi with cool spooky colors. You look like a soda girl." I didn't like coffee but I LOVED Pepsi.. How did he know that? That small voice in the back of my mind was saying "Why are you still sitting here? Have you ever seen Pepsi look like that? NO!" Even if that was true, it was so entrancing to watch the rolling smoke overflow off the side of the glass. He placed it in front of me and slowly slid it in my direction before plopping a straw right in the middle of it. I looked it over again and then, who knows why, smelled it before finally taking a sip. It was Pepsi. And it was good. Really good! I kept drinking it. I had this sudden feeling that I hadn't had a drink in a week! Half the glass was gone before I stopped and looked at the guy. He was laughing as his face started to change... His ears grew pointy and didn't stop growing until they reached past his head. His nose, though it was quite big already, started to grow away from his face. Patches of hair sprouted from his ears, forehead and around his cheeks and chin. His mouth widened even more and was filled with chunky rotted teeth. "Now you've done it.." the little voice in my head was saying. I stared at the creatures giant yellow eyes as he leaned down to me from his new height. "If you think this is scary, you ain't seen nothing yet sweetie." His breath smelled like vomit and eggs.. Not a combination you want in your face. I spun the stool around and put my left foot down on the ground. When I put my weight on it to step down, I heard glass shatter and suddenly had the urge to scream. I looked down at my foot as I was laying on the floor somehow. There was a giant pool of blood and shards of broken glass sticking out of my skin. There was a rush of mind numbing pain shooting up my left leg. The glass was coming OUT of my foot and leg... Somehow... "The bones in that foot there are now made of glass, well, busted glass now!" Said the thing behind the counter who was laughing and grabbing at his sides. Glass bones? What the hell was happening? I reached my hand into my purse in an attempt to grab my phone and call the cops. Once my right hand was concealed in the bag, the top of it scrunched around me. I tried to pull my hand free of the somehow faulty purse but nothing was happening! Then I started to feel something cool touch my skin. Cool.. and sharp. Very sharp. A blade! Something inside the bag was slicing at my wrist with a blade! It started to move faster and faster all while I'm screaming and frantically trying to get it off. By the time it dropped to the floor, I was ready to pass out. Black waves came over me and before I was out, I looked down my right arm and noticed more blood freely flowing. It was coming from where my right hand no longer was...
I woke up and to my amazement I was no longer in the coffee shop of horror. I was in a hospital. A clean white room with black baseboards lining the walls. There was a shiny silver lamp on the table next to me that looked brand new. There were no posters or anything on the walls but there were medical cabinets. In the corner was a small counter with a built in sink. "How did I get here.." I wondered. All of a sudden, my head was pounding and I felt very nauseous. Remembering my previous encounter, I started gasping as I looked at my right arm. There was no bandage... No blood.. And my hand was there. What the... I moved it up and down, squeezed the air, wiggled my fingers. Yeah, it was definitely there. There were no scars, scrapes or anything confirming it was ever gone in the first place. "So why am I here then? Oh my god, my foot!" I looked down expecting to still see shards of glass and was more alarmed when I saw nothing. Nothing but my ordinary leg and foot. Scared about the glass I was told about, I slowly wiggled my toes... Ok, nothing not normal there... "Was it a dream? No... No way." I fall back into the pillow behind and sigh with relief. "I'm ok!" I say to myself as I exhale. "But if I'm ok... why am I in a hospital? Who brought me here...?" Then I started looking around... With one blink the room had transformed into a horrific scene from a torture film. On the counter where there USED to be a sink, there was now just the counter filled with jagged rusty blades and tools I'd never seen before. The table next to me was nothing more than a giant tree stump stacked with duct tape, rope, chains and other bounding materials like fishing line and razor wire. I had to get out! I blinked again and as if some twisted dark magic had swept over me, I was bound to the hospital bed by plastic ties on my wrists and ankles. "HOW?!?" was being screamed inside my head. I started gasping for air and the bigger breaths I tried to take, the less air I seemed to be taking in. I tried to scream for some kind of help and instead only choked out small pitiful little screeches. Then I heard something that made my skin crawl... It was the sound of metal slowly scraping across concrete like it was being dragged. It was down the hall from me and my psychotic red room and it was coming toward me! I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to blink away everything but sadly, nothing happened except the sound growing louder with each passing second. I tried to pull and twist my hands out of the ties but all I achieved were major burns and the start of peeling skin on my wrists. I dropped my head on my chest and started crying even more than I had been. My tears felt hot and burned my skin. Seriously burned! I leaned as close to my arm as I could and watched a tear fall on it. When it did I knew that what was happening wasn't going to end well... My tear sizzled on my flesh as it made it's own little trail off my arm... I was crying acid... My face and arm felt like they were on fire which only made me cry that much more. I tried to stop and ended up screaming while trying to tilt my head as far back as I could. It seemed like ten minutes had gone by before I realized that I wasn't hearing the noise anymore. If I couldn't hear it... Could IT be hearing me? Was it standing right outside? What was IT anyway?!? I swallowed what little air I could before I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stop the tears completely. While they were closed I heard a loud creaking noise... The door.. Something or someone was coming in the door. "Don't look." The small voice was back again. "Keep them closed and whatever you do... Do NOT look!" The most morbid parts of me wanted to peek, especially since I KNEW there was all of that stuff around me that could mutilate and kill me. Another slow squeaking noise and then a click. The door was slowly being closed... I waited for any sign of life to hit my ears next but nothing came... No foot steps, no breathing... just.. Nothing. "Don't do it... It's a trick. You KNOW it's there. I can't tell you what it is... but you can't open your eyes.. Please don't look!" The voice had gone from demanding to sincerely scared sounding. Almost like the voice was someone who was looking out of me and could see exactly what was going on. Though it was hard to keep them squeezed together, that's exactly what I did. It felt like forever had passed before I started hearing a high pitched laughing coming from beside my bed. It reminded me of a scary movie I had seen as a kid. That's the kind of noise the character would hear right before they were dragged away or chopped into pieces! I didn't open them. The laughter continued and was accompanied by what sounded like an old dentist drill. "DON'T!" I heard in my head as I started to feel the sting of fresh acid tears coming on. I kept them closed and pressed my lips together to stop myself from screaming. I was scared. Not scared, terrified! The room started to shake. I could hear clanging and banging noises from things falling off of the shelf and walls. The laughter and drill were still going only now they were right next my head. I could smell the rusty scent of a blade as it spun just under my nose and felt the hot breath of whatever was laughing. Unable to stop myself I screamed and as I did, the blade that was spinning spun right into the side of my mouth slicing my cheek wide open. Though I didn't think it possible, the laughing grew even more shrill and close as blood poured down my face and neck. It was like that was what it liked to see. Tears fell through my closed eyes as I continued to scream and started to thrash around. Then the laughing stopped. I could feel myself slipping away. Feeling was leaving my hands.. then arms.. down my body.. My head dropped. There was only darkness around me... When I woke up, it was daylight. I was outside in the sun and there were people walking by. I was sitting on a bench. Again, remembering the horrific details of what I thought had just happened, I looked at my wrists then felt my face. "Holy shit!" I mutter. Nothing was wrong. AGAIN! I was starting to think I was in a constant loop of horror. I got up and started walking. I felt so thirsty. I looked around at the shops in search of something, ANYTHING to drink. Shoe store... pet store... Perfect! A coffee shop! It wasn't until I reached the door when I noticed it was the original shop I first walked into that made all of this crazy stuff happen! I backed away and was stopped by something. I turned to see what it was and it was a man. A tall, thin man with stringy hair, long fingers, pasty skin, dark eyes and wearing all black. He looked down at me and said "Let's go inside for a drink. I know you're thirsty." I started panting as my heart started racing. My eyes darted around to find someone to help me. The people who were walking around me previously were now frozen in various positions. It was like someone hit Pause on the world and only me and this freak talking to me were able to move. "I said let's go!" By the time the word "go" left his mouth, it had turned into a shrill, high pitched sound. Before I could say anything, the thing had his hands on my shoulders and was quickly walking me backwards right towards the coffee shop. He pushed me right through the glass door leaving shards on the floor and in my back. I was trying to wriggle out of his grasp but he pushed me with no resistance whatsoever. He stopped when I was right next to the spinning seat. He lifted me by the shoulders up to sit down in the exact same seat I had sat in the first time with the man/goblin creature. I felt a cold clamp go around both of my ankles holding me in place. "Why?!? How do I make this STOP!!!!????" I slammed my head down on the counter and kept doing it until I felt a big aching split.. Surprisingly... darkness... When I came to I had my head laying on the counter of the coffee shop. I started panicking until I looked up and saw the original man behind the counter. He was down a few seats serving coffee to an older couple. Before I attempted to make sense of anything I looked around again. There were people. The decorations were the same and the names of the drinks were still printed to look spooky for the holiday. "Hey there sweetie! I didn't know if you were going to wake up or not!" I looked at him uneasy waiting for the next transformation to happen. Anything could happen at this point! The older couple could really be snake people ready to sink fangs into me, the decorations could come to life and destroy me or again, the man could turn into the creature he was and do away with me. I felt exhausted. I saw a knife on the other side of his hand he was leaning on as he spoke to me. "Are you alright Miss? Or was that TOO scary?" He winked as he said the last part... "What did you do to me? What did you GIVE me?!" He looked shocked as I accused him. "You came in, ordered a Halloween Pepsi and when I went to put out the pastries from the oven I guess you fell asleep right there at the counter. You were still breathing so I figured you were ok. Should I call someone for you?" I looked at the drink next to me, it was almost empty. I smelled the liquid and it still smelled like Pepsi. By now the whole room had stopped their conversations and were looking at me. "What did you mean when you said "too scary" then?" I snapped. "The boss ordered special cups that makes it look like fog is pouring out of the drink but it's actually from the cup.. Then there's the ambience music playing. Some kids find it scary... I said it as a joke to be honest." His face looked like he was actually concerned and confused. I didn't even hear music until I actually started to listen... The sounds playing were like what you would hear when walking through a haunted house... Breaking glass... ghoulish noises... scraping metal... high pitched laughing... spinning blades... among other things... "Oh my god..." It all felt so real... "What's with the scare sign out front?" The man snorted a little. "My daughter loves Halloween and thought it would be clever to put a little spooky rhyme on the board to get people in here. She even brought in all these decorations and helped name the drinks. She said it was the most chilling coffee place around and we've had several compliments." I looked at him pleading with my eyes. I just wanted him to say that he was in fact a goblin and even though there were no signs, I had ACTUALLY gone through all of that stuff. "I'm sorry if you don't like it Miss. The Pepsi is on the house and if there's anything I can get for you or if you want me to call someone, you just say the word." I wanted to fall to the floor and cry.. I felt crazy. So I ordered a Pepsi, fell asleep and associated the music in the background with some horrific twisted nightmares.... I couldn't say anything else to him. I nodded as if he just knew what I was thinking and I walked toward the door. "Have a great day sweetie!" He yelled behind me. As I pushed the door open, I glanced back over my shoulder and standing there behind the counter leaning on his hands was the tall, disgusting creature. I gasped as he hopped the counter charging right at me with outstretched hands and then......


Then I woke up. Like ME in REAL life woke up. Isn't that something? What the hell kind of crappy dream cycle was THAT??? It was a trip anyway. I'll admit that I stayed in my bed for a few minutes and looked around before I deemed it safe to get up... I don't know if it was a snack gone wrong or the Pepsi I drank with my dinner... Either way... IT WAS A CRAZY ONE! If only you could jump inside my head to actually SEE what I saw... Since you cannot do such a thing, I'm hoping that I was able to convey some twisted pictures in your mind with my words. It would never be the same and yet... CREEPY! Here's to a boring, hopefully dreamless night... Sleep tight everyone!!! -Super Mom

Sometimes...

Though there is a "usual routine" that we all tend to follow in our day to day lives... It's almost necessary to have those "sometimes" moments interrupt the usual.. In a way.. Those moments or things are what make up who WE are... I'll give you a few of MY sometimes moments and things.. Maybe you can relate.. Maybe you will think I'm crazy.. Either way.. Here we go!

Sometimes I wear yoga pants to bed because I will just KNOW I won't want to get dressed the next day.. and I don't...

Sometimes I'd rather scrub my floors than put on makeup...

Sometimes I wear a hat instead of doing my 40 minute hair regime...

Sometimes I order pizza even if I don't want to eat it just so I won't have to cook...

Sometimes I am one of those scary Wal-Mart people you see after midnight...

Sometimes I go to the bathroom in the dark in the middle of the night and I look over my shoulder into the hallway the entire time.. just incase...

Sometimes I kick little kids out of my game lobby... And I don't feel bad about it.. They don't belong there anyway..

Sometimes I feel a sneeze coming on and immediately stop what I'm doing so I have time to cross my legs before it comes... 3 kids.. Just incase....

Sometimes I wait for my fuel light to come on before I even think about getting gas...

Sometimes I feel like a Sim when I try to let in as much light into my house as possible... (They feel happier when you do that on the game and SO DO I!)

Sometimes I growl when I get hurt... (Stub my toe or hit my not so funny bone..)

Sometimes I get tired of being the go to person for killing spiders in my house... Yup.. EVERYONE calls me... Even my husband...

Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll be under a tree mowing the lawn or something and a snake will fall on me.. I would die... Seriously...

Sometimes I wonder what people say about me behind my back... Not that I give a damn at all... But I'm sure it would be interesting to say the least if I were a fly on someone's wall.. Even for a day...

Sometimes I wish I could stay in bed and just SLEEP for a solid 24 hours... No interruptions, no errands, chores, calls, questions, NOTHING... Just solid hibernating sleep...

Sometimes I wish I had magical powers... I'd want them ALL! Mind powers... Flying.. Disappearing... Yup.. ALL OF THEM!

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get a call from a long lost or never known relative who wants to leave everything they have to me...

Sometimes I wish I had a stupid idea to make me lots of money.. Seems like all you need is a stupid idea for a TV Show, toy or App... Working on it...

Sometimes I get annoyed that I put so much into something and don't get the appreciation I expect...

Sometimes I get frustrated when all I want is a nice fountain Pepsi and it tastes gross... How they can't seem to get the mixture of syrup and carbonation right I'll never know...

Sometimes I binge watch old TV shows... Sometimes you just have to...

Sometimes I wonder what my wedding would be like if I had the chance to do it all over... For starters.. EVERYONE that WAS in it.. (Aside from my husband of course) WOULDN'T be again...

Sometimes I get frustrated when people with money complain to me about how they don't have money... Come on people... To me? Really? Go grab your $40 tissue and cry to someone else!

Sometimes I wonder why mopeds are allowed on the road... Have you ever been stuck behind one of those? It SUCKS! My longest stretch... 8 miles... 8 miles at 20mph feels horrible.... GET A LICENSE!

Sometimes I hide snacks so my kids or husband can't find them... Even if I don't intend on snacking on it for a few days... I still tuck it away...

Sometimes I think people take me being nice as being weak or dumb... BIG MISTAKE! You know who you are...

Sometimes I think about crashing onto the set of the Walking Dead while they film... They're only a few hours away after all... Ahhh... to meet them all... Even if it was while I was being arrested...

Sometimes I have the same dreams and or nightmares multiple times... Sometimes I can change them but most of the time I'm just stuck with the same outcomes...

Sometimes I log onto my bank account and hope there will be a huge, mysterious (and LEGAL!) deposit made...

Sometimes I wish I could be a master saver...

Sometimes I scare people just so I can have a good laugh.. A little demented sure... But hey.. It's who I am!

Sometimes I dance and sing in the shower.. After all.. Sometimes, it is the only ME time I get so.. why not?

Sometimes while I sing in the car, I wonder if I'm being recorded by some crazy hidden camera show... It doesn't STOP me but still.. it makes me wonder every now and then..

Sometimes I wish I could just skip holidays... Like Christmas... So commercial and stressing now... I would keep the tree... The rest of the dramatics can kiss my ass...

Sometimes I wish I could speak a rare language just so I could gauge peoples reactions when speaking it around them...

Sometimes my phone rings when I'm holding it to my hear having a fake conversation in an attempt to avoid store salesmen not associated with the actual store... Yeah.. It's happened a few times... Other than THOSE times, it works!

Sometimes I gross my husband out by telling him I drink KFC gravy.. I don't actually DO IT but he even thinks it's gross to lick the side of the bowl where it spills over! Come on now... A true KFC lover has definitely done that... Anyway, he calls that drinking gravy... Must be jealous...

Sometimes I get annoyed at the text response "k". It's like.. can you really not add the O to OK... Is it REALLY holding you up THAT much? One letter... Why even text back??? Anyway...



Ok! That is a few (or more...) of my sometimes things... Maybe you have some that made you say "Yeah that's me!" and maybe you don't.. Either way, that's my post for this lovely Monday night! I hope you all have a good one and feel free to leave me with one of your "sometimes" things!
Good night! -Super Mom

My run in with LASIK..... NOT GOOD!

The more I write on here about my life, job and family, the more you guys tend to find out about me and them. You probably know by now that I have three children and a husband who has been in the military and police force.. Well this story is about my husband and the journey we embarked on all because I wanted to make him happy... Ready, set, shoot me...

To let you all know a key factor to this story, I will tell you that my husband has worn glasses for most of his life. They date all the way back to elementary some time he tells me. When we first started dating he would simply NOT WEAR THEM because he thought that I thought he looked better without them. Obviously the more time we spent together... the more he would squint when necessary and eventually, yes, would have to put his glasses on. I learned early on that he was not a contacts guy. Too much hassle and maintenance as opposed to sliding glasses on your face. Either way was fine with me! He was in the Marines for six and a half years and more than once he had told me he would LOVE to have LASIK and just not have to worry about glasses anymore. Aside from being expensive as hell (and NOT covered by insurance), it also scared the hell out of me. I have an aunt who had it done years ago and had complications.. And though I don't know the full extent of all that.. The thought of something slipping or screwing up... Terrified me! He would only mention it briefly then let it go and eventually it would be a lost conversation that would resurface every few years when his glasses would fall off or he'd be tediously cleaning them... He made it through years of the military and a few years as a cop with his glasses... Now he is a maintenance supervisor (weird twist, I know..) and he's up into things all the time. I can understand and appreciate the frustration with having that job and glasses.. So with that thought in mind, a couple weeks ago I started researching LASIK and the nearby offices, the surgeons near me, the time of the procedure, the cost scales, the care routine... ALL OF IT. Finally I saw that the Lasik Vision Institute had a "20% Off Procedure!" thing going and it was posted right under a block that said "As low as $299 per eye!". After going back and forth for a while, I decided to call the number. I told the lady it was for my husband. She told me the consultation was free and if I booked the appointment right then, I would receive the 20% off the actual procedure if there was one. I made the appointment in the nearest certified Lasik Institute office which is 45 minutes from us for 10am that Friday (Monday I had called..) and when I hung up with her I immediately called my husband. I was excited to hear him be excited... I told him about the appointment and he said it was great. (He doesn't get all enthused over stuff like me on the off chance that it doesn't happen.. Such a downer sometimes..) The days passed then it was Friday. He took the girls to school and went to work for a while in the morning and came home to pick me up to go. We made it there 15 minutes early, started filling out paperwork and was ready to go in there at his appointment time... Yeah RIGHT! This is where it STARTED getting crazy... He didn't get IN there to get all scoped out until almost noon! (Keep in mind that I had the baby in a stroller... that only has SO LONG before she's over it...fun fun fun...) They end up dilating his pupils and tell me that I'll be driving us home. Ok... The manager of everything sits us down at 1:15 and explains that he has a very high prescription and that years ago he wouldn't have been able to do the surgery. However, their lasers are so pristine and have come so far that he fits in as a candidate! She goes on telling us all the good stuff and then hits me with a brick.. "We can get him in for surgery next Saturday and it will only be $1799 per eye!" My heart sank... I felt like I had been kicked in the throat.. The wave of dread and shock hit me so hard that without control, I started crying... SHE was really trying to sell it like it was a DEAL and for all I know it could be but it was nowhere near what I was expecting.. At all.. Had it been the total for BOTH EYES, then sure but no.... Nope.. $3600 that we don't have just lying around for my husband to be able to see without glasses... I had a Care Credit account I had opened for emergency medical crap the year before and there was $1400 available to use. But that would've been too easy... I asked for a Kleenex and was quietly sobbing and checking the time. Soon we would have to head back so my kids wouldn't get off the bus without us there. She asked me what was wrong and I told her it was just a major shock. Not to mention we had already been in the damn place for almost four hours... I felt horrible. After hearing that she lowered it $3200...  I told her that was nice but we still couldn't do it. She asked if I wanted to UP my limit on my card.. I told her not really but she could try. They moved it up to $2400. Great... She Lowered it again to $3000 flat. I sat at the desk with my head in my hands trying to stop myself from leaking. She left the room and came back a few minutes later. "They said I can make $2800. We can put most of it on the card and you would just need the $400 balance". I started thinking of who to call since the previous month cost us almost $680 of our savings between our two vehicles. I called my aunt and was trying like hell to not bawl in her ear to explain what was going on.. We had to leave the office to go home.. I talk to her and eventually calm down on the drive home. She starts taking my information to help when my husbands phone rings in the passenger seat. I hear him say things like "Really? That's great! Thank you so much..." and so on. He hangs up the phone and tells me we don't need to borrow the money anymore. I look at him confused... "That was the lady from the office, they will do it for $2400 so it can all go on the card." I drop my mouth in a better shock.. "Really?!?" I start telling my aunt and all she could do was laugh and tell me I have a skill and a gift if I made them drop their price $1200 in the last twenty minutes! I was so happy! He said I had to call the office back when we got home to go over a few things. We grabbed lunch on the way home and made it with twenty minutes to spare before the girls got home. I called the office and got the same girl who was helping us. "I just felt terrible because you were so upset and I know you guys want this so much...." and so on. I thanked her and asked if the surgery would be the next Saturday. She came back with "We could actually get him in TOMORROW if you would like." My stomach started fluttering... It was a mix of nerves, anxiety and excitement. I asked my husband and he said if he could do the next day that would be great. We set it up, paid the $100 deposit to hold the appointment time of 11:30am and gave her pharmacy information so she could get his prescription out and he could start taking his needed drops that day and following the surgery. We get all that squared away and I run to grab some groceries. While we're out (my oldest daughter came with me so I wouldn't go alone.. so sweet...) we hit a few little stores and got what we needed. I was on my way to grab our pizza for dinner before running to the pharmacy. Since I was hitting every SINGLE red light on the way, I decided to call and see if it was even ready. It was.. She asked if he had insurance and because he does all of that through the VA.. I said that I would just have to pay for it since they didn't call it in.. She said "They're kind of expensive.." I thought, they're two bottles of eye drops... what's considered expensive for THAT? Then I got my answer... "The first one is the antibiotic and that one is $79.." Here we go again, kick to the throat! "And the other one is up there... It's the steroid and it's $150.." The tears were welling again. Why can things NOT just be SIMPLE!?! This whole plan started with good intentions... I had no idea there would be so many negatives for the BIG positive... She said she was going to see if she could get it down any kind of way. Hopefully... I thought. We made it to the pizza place and walk inside. I walk up to the counter and before I could get my wallet out, the ass wad who had come in BEHIND us cuts us off and orders two hot and ready's. I look at the girl at the register and ask "Are you f***ing kidding me right now?" And the dude leaves with his two pizzas.. Of course because it's ME, they were the LAST two pizzas. So we were asked to sit down and wait the ten freaking minutes for the new ones... Doesn't sound like a long time but after the emotional wreck of a day I was having... it felt like forever.. FINALLY we got the food and headed out to the pharmacy where I was hoping like hell that something would've change in that $230 price... We go in and head to the back... I give a lady my name and she said "So you DON'T have a card for him?" I looked at her for a second before saying "No..." She gave me the total... It hadn't changed. Not twelve seconds had gone by from her saying that had a tear rolled down my face. "I'm sorry... This day has been... AAAHHH! I'm sorry.." I turned around and started blotting my face with my sleeves. My daughter looked up at me and said "Don't cry mom.." and five seconds later I could see her eyes starting to rim up with tears.. Oh my God... Why won't this day just END already! The lady behind the counter looked at us and told us we can't be doing all that because she was a sensitive person and soon SHE would start crying if we didn't stop. Ten seconds after she said that, two tears rolled down both of HER cheeks! It was an epidemic! Leaking faces everywhere!!! She looked at my phone and asked if I had internet on it as she swiped a Kleenex across her face. I told her it did. She took and went back and forth from my phones screen to her computer screen... A few minutes later she says, "Ok, I got one down to $30" I looked at her confused as hell and asked "So the $80 one is now $30?"  She said "No, the $150 one is now $30.. And the $80 one is now $12.99.." I was FLOORED! "What the hell did you do?" I didn't want to ask but seriously, I was so confused and nauseous and starting to get happy... "It's a site... It doesn't always have the right codes but for these two it did. The new total is $44.10.." I laughed a little and said "It is so hard to NOT climb over this counter and kiss you right now! I mean it, you have made my night!" Then (because obviously I'm pretty broken..) tears were welling again. Happy tears at least! I hugged my daughter who was now smiling and wiping hers away. I paid the lady and went to the car... We finally made it home, ate, got the girls in bed and got him going on his drops... Things were finally starting to seem better... The very next morning, my husband would walk out of that building with no glasses and be HAPPY about it... I tried fishing for excitement by saying things like "This is the LAST day you'll be wearing glasses..." I got nothing. "I will be excited when it's done." is all I got from him... My goodness... The next day we were up, got breakfast and are gone. It was a rainy blah kind of day but that wasn't getting in the way of what was coming! We get there at 11 like she had suggested so he could fill out his form for the day and be in there by 11:30.. The office was packed... This office has a nation renowned surgeon who comes from a different city only on Saturdays to do the surgeries.. And apparently, he had a LOT of patients to do.... After sitting against the wall due to lack of seating, we decided to wait in the car and watch a movie on the laptop... He didn't receive his paper to fill out until 1:15... I went in after he did that and let her swipe the card for the $2300 (because of the 100 we had paid the night before..) and she said he would be in soon. 2:05 is when he was called back. They told me I could leave and they would call me when he was done because even though the actual surgery took only seconds, it would be anywhere from 2-3 hours in the recovery just to be sure everything went well... I hugged him and kissed him and wished him luck (Yes, I was still scared...) and I pulled out of the lot and headed towards the mall. Thankfully, it was only two miles away and big enough where I figured we could walk the whole thing and be done at just about the same time he would be. We get the baby in the stroller and cover it from the rain then darted inside. We were cruising around the second story looking for anything resembling lunch for about 40 minutes when I get a text.. a text from my husband that said "Come get me". As I pulled up his number to call him I thought "damn that was fast!" I called.. "Done already?" He answered.. "No. I'll tell you about it when you get here.." Now my heart was racing.. first off.. we had been at the damn office for HOURS.. AGAIN.. and he did not sound happy... I started making my way back after loading the kids up.. I called him again to ask what the deal was and he told me that when the surgeon actually LOOKED at his case, he didn't feel comfortable doing the surgery without a second examination.. So they scheduled it for the next Thursday telling my husband he would be able to be the first in line for surgery the next Saturday. My husband did the right thing by waiting outside of the office because as sad as I had been the day before, by that moment I was equally pissed off and more than ready to tell someone about it. I called the lady in the office from my phone to ask personally what the problem was... Apparently, the doctor who scoped him out the day before never SENT the results to the surgeon to go over and because his case was so extreme, he didn't feel comfortable without a second look... Oh my.... We head back home and decide to call friends to meet us for a dinner. They do. We then make plans to stop at the party store and have the friends come over for a movie later. They do. We had drinks, watched a nice movie and even played games and actually had FUN. It was much needed fun after the few days we had been put through... I felt so bad that he went to bed that night putting his glasses next to the bed on the table... Sunday was a relaxed chill day. We lounged around, played with the kids and had a relaxing lovey day. A very nice end... Monday came and it was back to the routine as usual - get up, get the kids up, dressed, breakfast, make lunches, kiss them and my husband good bye and feed the baby.. Before my husband left he said how much it sucked that he would have to take more time off work for Thursday and how we would probably be there for hours again.. "I know..." I said. He left.. A few hours went by and my phone rang... It was my husband... "Well I don't have to worry about Thursday." I answered "Oh no? Why is that?"  He goes "The doctor from the office just called me. Apparently, after REALLY looking into my numbers and specs, my case is out of reach of what the laser is capable of and so I am no longer able to get the surgery..." Are you F***ING SERIOUS!!! I started crying (surprise, surprise..) I swore into the phone between gasps... He asked why I was crying and I said "I know you have wanted this for SO LONG and I've always been scared.. I finally get it together and set it up, we spend HOURS in that damn office, they tell you you're getting it, they lower the price for us, we go back and now.. it was all for NOTHING. Now I know why you don't get excited for stuff! I feel so bad because I was excited FOR YOU and now... nothing... I feel so bad for even trying.. I would've rather gone on with you being annoyed at me for being ridiculous instead of going through all of this shit for nothing...." He told me it was ok and that maybe SOME day it might work. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they didn't go in while uncomfortable and put a laser in his eye... But why say ONE thing if you don't know for SURE??? That was last Monday when they supposedly started the refund process of our $100 and the $2300 to the card... Neither has been seen yet... As for the drops, we're just ass out on those. Thank GOD they weren't $230 like they started out... All in all it's been a rough one. Exhausting, disappointing, time consuming, frustrating and more.... All.. for nothing... The place we went to is not one that I will be recommending anytime soon if ever... I have no more confidence there... So in the end, the miracle surgery didn't happen... my husband still wears his glasses and is still gorgeous as ever but I wish that this was the one time where I didn't have to tell him he was right... :/ The moral of the story if there is one... Don't get too excited if it's an up in the air thing AND if someone tries to tell you you're getting a "great deal" as it breaks your bank.. Shed a few tears.. Because apparently you can haggle when it comes to surgery and other things......  Happy Wednesday! -Super Mom

Moms... What's in YOUR purse? :/

You know, I've thought about writing this many times about this particular subject. It hits me every time I dig into my giant, heavy, filled with everyone else's stuff, purse... In a normal woman's purse, she could very easily reach into her average size shoulder bag or clutch and pull out a pen within seconds... Me finding a pen..? Puh-Lease! It takes TWO hands and more than two minutes and even with that, there's still no guarantee that I am coming out with a pen even though there are at least two in there... It's maddening! No matter how many times I clean the freaking thing, by the end of the week it feels like I'm carrying a cinder block on my shoulder! Add that, a grocery bag or two AND a baby... FORGET ABOUT THAT! I swear I could put some lifters to shame in the gym. Seriously... Rock arms from a purse... Anyway, let's take a look at the variety of purse carriers out there and then you will see why us moms have it so rough...

Carrier:                Toddlers and their cute little play purses...

Contents: Anything from small toys, brushes, or pieces of snack foods they decided to save...

Weight Comparison: A few empty plastic bottles up to a bottle of water...




Carrier:                Kids and their little mom hand me down play purses...

Contents: Pencils, pens, brushes, their favorite doll, candy, some dress up jewelry...

Weight Comparison: One to two bottles of water or less...




Carrier:               Tweens and their cutesy little handbags from the mall....

Contents: Sparkly lip gloss (or five), a mirror, a brush, a pen, small pad of paper, mp3 player..

Weight Comparison: One bottle of water or less...




Carrier:             Teens...

Contents: Cell phone, a tampon or two or pads, chap stick or lip gloss, a pen, extra eyeliner, gum or mints, small wallet...

Weight Comparison: Between one bottle of water and three bottles of water.. depending..



Carrier:           Working Non Mother......

Contents: Wallet, cell phone, chap stick, lip stick, pen, gum, lady things.., business cards, change, maybe a piece of mail and receipts...

Weight Comparison: Two to four bottles of water depending on size of bag and amount of each thing..



And finally....... The purse of all purses.... The bag no one actually WANTS to carry... A Moms purse!!!  Before I give the details on this, I'm going to put MY OWN PURSE into this category and it's contents. There is no exaggeration here ladies and gentlemen... This is everything IN my purse since the last time I cleaned it.. (About a week ago... Keep in mind that's about 7 days with this purse and some of those were spent somewhere with children... ) Ok... Are you ready... Here is MY mom purse...

Carrier:       ME! (A mother of three who does photography and has a big Vera bag... Think tote like  almost...)

Contents:  A big wallet (containing cards, rarely cash, some change, check book, a few pictures, and some receipts for bigger things..) two kinds of chap stick, about four colors of lip gloss and sticks, cell phone, two pens, some yogurt melts for the baby, two different chewy toys for the baby, two diapers and a slim pack of wipes for the baby, two hair bands and clips, three glasses wipes, a small bottle of Tylenol, a stack of business cards, two bills, a set of earbuds, a notebook sized planner for events, three tampons, travel size deodorant my daughter didn't want to carry after we bought it, a headband my other daughter didn't want to wear while at a store, hand sanitizer, three kinds of gum, four band aids, a Bluetooth earpiece, a dedicated coin purse to keep change out of my wallet, a small bottle of perfume, coupons for free Bath and bodyworks lotion, a nail file, nail clippers, a pack of Kleenex, a wad of receipts and a few napkins....

Weight Comparison: Carrying it all the time... it feels like a half case of water OR a small elephant!

I know what you're thinking... "Why not just put half of that crap in a diaper bag and carry that?" BECAUSE that would end up adding MORE to carry! And who the hell wants to carry MORE than all THAT??? Not this girl... I DO have a diaper bag that I keep in the car for when I need it... It's contents are almost as much as my purse but they all pertain to the baby.. (Extra outfit, baby powder, lotion, band aids, wipes, food and of course diapers among other things..) Or you might be thinking this.. "Just clean your bag every night or simply don't LET anyone put anything in your bag or get a smaller bag!" Let me answer that with... YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! Clean it every night... No thanks! By the time I get home and get the damn thing off my arms, it sits alone on the shelf until I need it again. I already have three kids and a husband to tend to at the end of the day... I don't need another time slot added for a bag... And not letting them.. Hmm... I agree with the phrase "Choose your battles" and though most times when I catch them trying to stuff something in their for THEIR convenience, some times, I just want to hurry up at wherever I am so we can all just get the hell out of there safely and sanely. (For the most part anyway!) Lastly, a smaller bag..? Seriously... I also believe (to a degree) that it's better to have it and not need then to need it and not have it... Obviously I don't pack up my whole house in there but come on.. Band aids and hand sanitizer.. with kids... Uh, yeah... I think that's ok! That and I also like having the option to be able to smuggle in full bags of candy into the movie theater when I go. Not that I actually DO THAT.... Just.. like having the option....   It's crazy because I will have just cleaned my purse out and then go to the store and both my kids AND my husband act as if it's a "DUMP ALL YOUR CRAP HERE!" kind of thing and before I know it, my neat and tidy bag is full of gum wrappers, hair wear, jewelry they changed their minds about, baby toys, cups, mail, and oh my goodness it just goes on and on... They throw it in and I get strap imprints on my freaking shoulder. :/ Oh to be a mom.... I'm going to go ahead and get all this crap out of here just like I did last week... Wish me luck! -Super Mom

Getting ready for a dinner date.. Guys vs Girls....

You already know from the title what the topic is.. If you have ever rolled your eyes in disgust at the thought of this title then you should know exactly where I'm going to go with it.. I'm going to give you a quick guy vs girl look at getting ready to go out on a nice dinner date with your person... In MY case anyway (and MANY others too I'm sure... and if not.. you all suck...) :) Keep in mind that the little scenario here is leaving OUT all the extra fun the kids and everyday life dispense... with all THAT we'd have a small book! So we'll just stick to the title for today and try not to mix it in with everything else...Also keep in mind that my husband and I "go out" alone MAYBE three times a year.. and so yes.. it feels like we're actually DATING when we go. That's how rare it is to be somewhere together without kids, toys, bottles and diaper bags...  Here we go...



A week before the date....

Me: "How about we get a sitter and go out to eat just the two of us this weekend.."

Husband: "Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"

Me: "Hmm... I'll think about it."

Husband: "Ok."



Four days before the date....

Me thinking: Do I want to wear a dress... or a skirt.. Or this... No.. Ooooo... THIS! If I could just... get it.. ON... There.. Oh yeah.. I would date me.. Wait.. what the.. a HOLE? Seriously?!? Damn it!!! No...... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG! *Throws not so perfect outfit in the back of the closet before leaving and watching a show*



Three days before the date....

Me calling husband: "Where do you think we should go to eat? It's up to you."

Husband: "Umm... Olive Garden?"

Me: "hmm... Not really feeling THAT.... or Chinese... or Mexican... anything else though..."

Husband: "So... McDonalds?"

Me: "Hahaha... No. Not McDonalds. I don't know.. maybe... something with steak and salad? I don't know."

Husband: "We'll figure something out I'm sure.."

Me: "Ok ok... love you bye."

Husband: "love you, bye."




The day before the date....

Me thinking: I should've bought a dress... But I don't always wear them.. I'll just do a skirt.. With THIS shirt maybe... Oh my God I need to paint my toenails! That's bad...  and why... Man I wish my legs weren't so freaking WHITE! I look like I have a disease or something.. I think I'm too white for a vampire even.. Freaking Twilight! Better white than super hairy I guess.. Nope, not going with a skirt!  Maybe I'll wear pants... Dressy pants with a cute top... But WHICH top... This is so f***ing annoying! Maybe we'll just hit a drive thru alone.. Ooooo.. how romantic... BLAH! This sucks... I can't find what I want!! *as I rifle through smashed together hanging garments in my bursting closet...* Whatever.. I still have tomorrow. *Give up and leave the room.*



The morning of the date....

Me thinking: Holy shit, look at that hair! I need spray.. my straightener.. I should've straightened yesterday... Whoa... I need HELP is what I need.. *Start straightening hair for the first time...*

Later...

Me thinking: Why does my hair look really good on one side and poofy on the other? Grrr... Stay DOWN! *Applying spray and straightening hair for the second time* Ok.. find the top.... Too big.. too tight.. too blah... Ahhh... here we go.. Got the shirt.. got the pants.. got the.. shoe? Where the hell is the other shoe.... Girls!!!!! *Go to daughters bedroom.. rifle through the closet, toy box, under the bed...* Ah ha! In the Lego box.. Why wouldn't it be in the Lego box... *Go back to my room..*

Me calling husband: "are you getting off work at the normal time (5pm) and do you want to eat around 6?"

Husband: "I should be and sure."


Later....


My getting ready.... Time lapse of about... 45-60 minutes..

Jump in the shower and NOT getting my previously straightened hair wet, get out, put on pants, shirt (after the underwear things of course), go to the vanity start the makeup... Foundation, bronzer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner. Hmm.. Mascara..? Sure.. Mascara. Get in the jewelry drawer for a bracelet, a nice watch, a necklace and earrings... Look in the mirror.. See semi poofy hair.. Go for round three with the straightener... Spray hair.. Grab deodorant then perfume... Last minute look in the mirror.. Good. Glance at the clock.. should be here any time.. Grab my heels, slip them on, grab some lip gloss for a quick shine.. Done... About damn time...

Husband gets home and gets ready... Time lapse of no more than... 10 minutes.. and that's a stretch...

He jumps in the shower, grabs shampoo, rinses and gets out, towel dry's hair, adds gel and slicks it into place with his fingers.. Hair is done... Goes to his closet and grabs some dark jeans and a solid black shirt.. Puts them on.. Grabs socks.. Puts them on.. Same with shoes... Goes and puts on deodorant and a spritz of cologne... Throws a watch on and guess what... he's DONE!


I look at him and think "My God he looks good..." and then think "God being a woman sucks some times... Here I am getting ready and thinking about this night for DAYS and he gets in and out of the shower and his closet in under ten minutes ready to go... What a load of......."

So yeah... I usually have to touch up the hair AGAIN before we stroll out. Isn't that just the way... So much for a special night.. SO much time and effort for an hour or two to fly by... Yeah.. Some times.. Being a woman just sucks! And as usual.. Men have it so easy..... Suckers. Still love the time though. And thankfully, he doesn't ever NOT tell me I'm not looking good! (Is that right? lol) So at least my prep time (MAJOR PREP TIME) and effort never go unnoticed! ;)

Hoping I'm not the only one out there with this problem... You know who you are! :) Happy Monday everyone!!! -Super Mom

Thank you random citizens...

Even with all of the crazy stuff going on with people these days, I still believe that there are really good people left in the world. I try to be one myself when I can and it makes me happy knowing that I have helped someone..   When I say "good", I don't mean that they do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE all the time with no hesitation. I mean a person willing to do something, even something SMALL, without worrying or hesitating. I, like any other person, have run into several a-holes and rude people...My interactions with THESE kind of people have been like this...

-They grab a cart when I'm about to put my hands on it..
-They pull into a parking space I've been waiting to park in..
-They stand in line for a minute then quickly jump into the newly opened overflow lane even though I've been waiting for 10 minutes..
-They stare at me or give me dirty looks while I walk around alone or with my kids...
-They are in front of me in a checkout line and complain about EVERYTHING so they can try to get a deal they don't deserve making waiting even longer...
-They say stupid and ignorant things knowing I can hear them...

And so on... THAT list could go ON AND ON.... and on...

But NOW I want to throw a big THANK YOU! to all of those strangers who have honestly helped me when they didn't have to.. but did anyway..

Thank you to....

-The very tall man in Wal-Mart who helped me get juice from the back of the very top shelf! (I'm vertically challenged.. I would've had to climb...)
-The sporty looking woman who held the door open for me and the stroller at the post office! (Because we all know how fun THAT can be alone...)
-The guy who threw in a free breadstick bag because my pizza took longer than expected! (Who doesn't like that???)
-The man in the booth across from me who grabbed my daughters sippy cup before it could roll away at Texas Roadhouse.
-The lady who took my cart after I unloaded my groceries in the car so I wouldn't have to walk it back into the store with the baby.

That was just five examples of five sweet people who did little things that made me smile. And that was just in the last 8 days! :) It should be a goal that someone should do something nice for someone else every day or at least the days where they are able to.. It's a crazy thought but sometimes even the smallest favor or help make the biggest difference in someone's day.. I'm grateful to those random people out there who have helped me when there was nothing in it for them for doing so other than receiving my thanks. I wish there were more of you out there for me to run into and I hope that someone has thought that about me even once. I read this somewhere and totally agree...

"If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you'll end up doing nothing for nobody.."

Think about THAT! ;) Have a great night Super People!!! -Super Mom

The creepy sleep walker child strikes again....

Good evening... So I was reluctant to say anything after my first very frightening freak encounter with my daughter while she was apparently sleep walking (see "A totally freaky, super creepy, SCARY midnight encounter... :/" and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about!) but there have been a FEW instances since then and I'm starting to think it's not going away anytime soon.... The first time was the scariest to me to be honest.. She looked like she was just.. NOT HER. Possessed almost... Not in the demonic "Give me your SOUL!" kind of way but still... Just, not right.. Anyway.. The second case occurred just a couple months after the first. I was sitting in bed around 10ish reading and my husband was in the game room playing on the computer. Just as I'm flipping to my next page, the door opens and it's him. I look at him waiting for him to say something and he whispers "come look at this.." I have to admit that when ANYONE says that it usually means there's something NOT pleasant waiting for me to look whether it be a spider, a mess, or who knows what else.. I push the covers back and stand on the floor and walk to him. He starts creeping, very slowly I might add, to the kitchen and I saw that he had turned his phone camera on... He tells me to stay at the doorway and watch. He then goes around through the other door. I push the door that I'm standing at open and I hear the sink running. I look in and see my daughter standing on a small step stool holding the faucet lever up.. Ok... He was on the other side of the kitchen and with his camera focused on her he says "What are you doing baby?" She then turned the water off, stepped down off the stool, walks over to the trash about 10 feet away, lifts up the lid, looks at the trash then closes it. She then stands still for just a minute before she goes BACK to the stool to turn the sink BACK ON with her hand still on the lever... I look at my husband and his eyes are wide without a clue as to what's going on.. I step into the kitchen and say her name.. Nothing. I say, "what are you doing?".. Nothing. After another minute, water off, steps down, walks to the trash, lifts up the lid, looks, closes the lid, back to the sink... What the HELL is going on??? She wouldn't have been able to NOT laugh had she been fully aware and conscious... When she returned to the stool and turned on the sink YET AGAIN, she did one thing that was different than the other times.. She crossed her legs.. No freaking way this is happening right now... I started walking to her asking if she had to go to the bathroom and she looked up and had a faint smile under her tired eyes and then.. it happened.. Yup.. Right there in the kitchen.. She peed.. Without moving and without uncrossing her legs.. My husband, now thoroughly freaked out with flashes of the Exorcist going through his mind I'm sure, put his phone down, turned off the sink and helped her off the stool. I grabbed her hands and tried again to say her name while looking right in her eyes. No real connection... I took her to the bathroom and helped her out of her PJs. "You're going to take a quick shower ok?" She rubbed her eyes and said "Ok". Once she got out of the shower I handed her the towel and some new clothes and asked "Do you remember being in the kitchen?" She looked at me and said "I got a drink from the kitchen before bed. That time?" WHAT!!!! Deciding that it wasn't the best time to try to reason, I tucked her in bed and closed the door behind me. My husband was waiting in the hall. "Did you see that? That is creepy, very creepy!" I just looked at him and thought of the time before when she actually scared the hell out of me... "I have no idea...no idea.." I said on my way back to the kitchen to mop up the mess... A month had gone by without another occurrence and I was MORE than happy about that.. I thought about that night and remembered ONE instance where I had sleepwalked once myself... I was about seven (same as her now...creepy...) and I remember walking down stairs and turning left to go to the bathroom.. The bathroom was actually to the RIGHT. Still, to the left I went. I stopped right in front of a heater that was built in the wall. I stood there for a minute then pulled down my pants and.. peed on the floor! When I was done, I pulled the pants up and walked back to my bed... Of course this is what I was TOLD by both my parents who apparently watched in some weird awe while it happened! Hmm... Now I'm here in the NOW and I'm the sideline parent who hopes that door doesn't open in the middle of the night! Moving right along.. The next one happened, you guessed it, in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and she's lucky she didn't get knocked down (had she done this to her dad... she probably would have! He doesn't like being "spooked" especially right out of sleep..). So I'm in bed and asleep as anybody should be at 2:07am and I'm a light sleeper meaning that if you walk down my creaky ass hallway, I will hear it and wake up. In fact, there aren't many ways you can walk and NOT make a sound so... there you go.. Anyway.. I'm asleep with the fan blowing as usual and I feel something on my leg on top of the blanket. I open my eyes and standing right beside my bed is my daughter.. The thing I was feeling was her hand just sitting, right there on my leg. My room is dark but there is a tiny night light on my side table which is enough for me to see the diapers and stuff for the baby in the dark.. With that tiny bit of light, I could see that her eyes were fully open and staring at me. I was startled and just assumed she had a bad dream so I said "What's wrong?" and I got nothing in return... Here we go again? REALLY??? I slide over and move her hand off my leg and it drops right to her side. I grab her shoulders and look at her still looking at me. I give her a tiny shake while saying her name and all I get is a smile. A CREEPY FREAKING SMILE! I wasn't dealing with this crap in the dark and so I let go of her and turned on the lamp next to me. I looked at her and her expression hadn't really changed. I grabbed her hand and gave it a little smack. She laughed! Really, REALLY trying to overcome being scared by this small child, I pulled her close to me and told her she needed to go back to bed. After a second, she looked at the light from the lamp. "I need a drink of water." She said. I said her name again.. She looked at me. "Can I have a drink of water Mom?" I had to say it.. "Are you awake right now?" Her face turned to a familiar expression of "are you serious..." and she said "of course.. I'm talking" YEAH! YOU ARE! My heartbeat slowed and steadied itself and I told her to grab a quick drink then to go to bed. "Will you tuck me in again?" I get out of bed and take her to get her drink and then tuck her in. I closed the door behind me and waited a few minutes before I poked my head back in. Sure enough.. ASLEEP! Shivers went down my spine. I didn't want to turn the hallway light off to go back to my room in fear that she may just APPEAR somewhere unknowingly in the dark! I turned it off and like a scared child, I ran to my room, closed the door and jumped (yes JUMPED) into my bed like I was trying to avoid getting pulled under it... There were a few other minor (as in didn't give me my OWN nightmares) times that she would just blankly walk to the bathroom or hall before turning around and going back to bed. But we had a weird one happen last night. It's not scary, just.. weird... The girls had been in bed for about an hour and a half and I was in bed reading a book on my tablet. Because the baby was stirring with my lamp on, I decided to turn it off to read my last few pages for the night before I myself went to bed. Not two minutes had gone by after turning off the light when I see a shadow walk by my door down the hall. Yes it was her but she was actually moving "normal" in her underwear and I figured she was just grabbing some water. Ok, fine. I look back at my story then something catches my eye out in the dining room across the hall from me.. She had run, yes RUN, into the living room from the kitchen.. Ok... I stared waiting for something else to happen and sure enough, she ran back to the kitchen. I saw the kitchen light was on and then without taking my eyes off of the dining room, I see her walk back into the living room.. NAKED! What the.... She then turns on a lamp in the living room before going BACK to the kitchen.. I just had a feeling... it was happening again... As I got out of bed she cut across in front of my door (still nude) and I saw the light from the bathroom turn on. I look in there and she's sitting on the toilet with no underwear in sight. "Are you ok?" I can't help but ask such dumb and simple questions... She looked up at me and when I asked where her underwear were, she simply shrugged like she had no idea! I told her to turn the light off in both the bathroom and living room when she was done. Thankfully she heard that because one after another I saw the lights go out and heard her door close. I gave it a few minutes then went to check in. She was in bed, asleep and thankfully was awake enough to get new underwear. I was so tired from the long day that I didn't feel like going on a panty search and so I climbed into bed and fell asleep myself. This morning while I was making school lunches and the girls were getting their breakfast, I hear my oldest daughter in the pantry... "What the.. Why are there UNDERWEAR in here?? That's gross! My FOOD is in here!!!" I looked at my daughter and she plainly said "Those aren't MINE." I then told her about the night before and how she ran naked through the house to and from the living room, kitchen and bathroom. She smiled and said "Really?" Oh boy.... SO... That is the fun that I get to deal with randomly through the nights... I'm really hoping that these instances will just DISAPPEAR here sooner or later.. Sooner.. not later.. Wish me luck... She's been in bed for an hour... which means I COULD see her ANYTIME now.... Good night! :/  -Super Mom

Once upon a long yesterday....

Hmmm.... Here we go again! ;)


Once upon a long yesterday, I sat on the floor with the baby to play
I gave her a toy, she reached for a book, she gave me the grin when I gave her the look
A while went by and then she was done, the playing with toys on the floor was no fun
Into the walker so around she can cruise, I walk down the hall and I trip on some shoes
"Girls!" I yell loudly as I hit the side wall, "Come get your freaking shoes out of this hall!"
A shoe rack conveniently sits right by the door that apparently shoes don't go in anymore
I get to the kitchen to put dishes away when here comes the walker for exploring and play
"She can't reach a thing..." but I spoke too soon. She rolled to the dishes and grabbed her a spoon.
A big plastic spoon went straight to her face, some biting and drool, she must like the taste... :/
It's time for lunch so she goes in her chair. It's not "what will she EAT?" it's "what will I WEAR?"
Sure enough we both were covered in peas after eating and spitting and even a sneeze.
We both get cleaned up and it's time for a nap, but her favorite cup is in dad's truck.. oh CRAP!
Find another, it's just not the same... I swear if she talked she'd be screaming my name..
Some music, her blanket and a warm little drink.. Then slowly to dreamland she starts to sink...
I don't want to fold, I don't want to clean... I want to do NOTHING, you know what I mean!
The girls playing Legos and the baby asleep... Quietly to the couch I started to creep..
I pick up my tablet to read some of a book but before I get comfy I listen and look...
Still so quiet it's like nobody's here... As soon as it's on I notice gross smears...
What the hell is that? It's wet but it's not... I almost yelled "Girls!", I almost forgot..
Then I remembered and I did a small roar... "Looks like they're touching this tablet no more!"
I muttered and mumbled as I cleaned the glass. I just want a minute to sit on my ass!
I got twenty minutes which I GUESS was enough.. It was time to attempt my not so fun stuff.
Down to the washer of clothes not yet started then up to the kitchen where my daughter just farted.
"Go away, go away, you gross little thing!" she ran away laughing then started to sing.
Just a few tracks in my playlist of life.. My God, I'm a lucky mother and wife!
A short while later, the baby's awake... Please just stay happy, for sanity's sake...
Thankfully nothing but smiles and grins and a small little bubble of drool on her chin.
Out of the crib and up to my chest. Her little arms hug me like I'm simply the best..
Fast forward, it's dinner, "What should I make?" "Pizza" "Hot dogs" "I don't care" "Cake?"
More mumbles and grumbles, in the pantry I scan... Pasta? Chicken? I don't know man!
(I stood there for minutes, continued to look... Did I ever mention that I HATE to cook?!?)
Find something, prepare it, consume it, all right. Time to get ready for the end of the night.
Baby food, bath time, PJ's and teeth. "yes Mom the room's clean". Except the bed underneath..
"We'll get it tomorrow.." now time to read. Twenty minutes... "The End?"  INDEED!
Kisses and hugs, tucked in all tight. "See you in the morning, I love you. Good night!"
Warm drink for the baby and a nice little song.. Knowing she'll be up again before long...
"I'd love a massage..." with a nice little wink. My husband and I.. well, what do you think!
Went right to bed and fell asleep quick.. (That's the nice version without making you sick) ;)
Finally bedtime.. This day's been so long... My eyes feel so heavy.. The sandman is strong...
That's it. It's over. I'm finished. I'm OUT! The good happy ending that I'm all about...
Of course there was more, I could go on for days... And it might be amusing in so many ways...
But I'll come to a close and quietly pray.. That tomorrow will not be another today...

GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!!!! -Super Mom

Who SHOULD and who DOES get the praise at a BBQ...

One of the things I love about summer is the chance to attend or throw BBQ dinners. They're casual, comfortable, full of good food, usually good company and there's no real WRONG way to do one if you decide to host one. As long as you have a grill, food, and someone able to use both at the same time... You're golden! My girls and I got my husband one of those big barrel shaped grills for fathers day. It's huge, heavy, has shelves and even a convenient little temperature gauge on door to let you know when you're good to start cooking... He loves it and he is THE cook when it comes to grilling.. Well this grill chef of mine decided it would be a good idea to host a BBQ dinner tonight (2 days ago he decided this..) and it's Friday.. I get that the summer season is coming to a close and it would be nice to get a few friends together and cook out so I said sure why not.. My husband mans the grill... that his what HE will do to contribute to this night.. I mean that's the basis of a good cook out.. THE FOOD! If the food gets charred, is undercooked or is simply NOT GOOD... Yikes... That's what gets remembered as a bad BBQ... And yes, even though all he has to do is cook, that is what will be remembered... Meanwhile... Here is what I have the joy of doing... Moving the picnic table and chairs in a comfortable spot, confirm the people on the invite list, move the grill up from the basement (we live in the city and it's a NICE grill that someone probably wouldn't feel bad about taking.. precautions..), make a grocery list, BUY the groceries, prep the food, get ice for drinks, take out all the necessary table trimmings such as utensils, plates, napkins, sauces and other condiments, sides, etc., put the fan outside.... Yeah... Then he will take the already ready food, cook it, serve it, people will love it, get stuffed and thank him for all the work he has done... HA! Yesterday I took the liberty of moving the outdoor furniture so it would be one less thing I would have to screw with today and this morning I took the baby out to go get all the groceries... There will be a few people that I myself have never met meaning that I don't know what they like and don't like so it's either go minimal.. TRY to go safe.. or just get EVERYTHING. As I went around the store loading my cart with water, Pepsi, Mt. Dew, Coke, Sprite (that clueless yet usually safe variety), different salads, beer, hot dogs, buns, two giant packs of chicken, bottles of BBQ sauce, paper plates, napkins, wet naps, 18 ears of corn, chips, and pies, all I could think to myself is that if people bailed and decided NOT to come tonight... I just might go to jail! I struggled to make the last few turns seeing as my cart was so overloaded and HEAVY. The highlight was that my baby was sitting and smiling very happily taking all kinds of compliments from various people.. That little joy lasted until I made it to the checkout... yikes. Again, if they decide to not show... they better plan on staying IN for a while... I finally make it home, unload all of the crap from my car and decide I've earned a little bit to just SIT down and enjoy some lunch... I feed the baby, eat my lunch, get her ready for a nap and go out to where everything still sat in bags on the counter... There was SO much to do... I say there was like I actually did it already... I have not.. I decided to write this out first... ;) So with all of this stuff out in the open now, I will go and take care of everything and proceed to get ready for tonight... I will post onto this one once it's all said and done.. We will probably get a joint "Thanks guys!" but.. we'll see... Wish me luck and happy Friday!!!! -Super Mom





After the BBQ..........

After I took care of everything and an hour had gone by, I started to prepare the chicken and corn. My husband made it home about 45 minutes before the cook out was supposed to start. Everything was ready to go and it was up to him to start the grill and start cooking once we got closer... He told me that this thing was supposed to start around 6... 6 came.. then 6:15.. 6:35.. People started showing up here and there and the last guy staggered in around 7:15. It's a good thing I had everything READY! :/ My husband started cooking, everyone was around talking and starting with drinks and it was finally kicking off after hours of getting ready for it. The food was delicious and it was good to finally relax and enjoy it all. Best of all... once the compliments started, my wonderful husband didn't hesitate to say that he only cooked and it was me who did EVERYTHING else.. Awe... I must say, after all that.. it was nice to receive a little thanks! The scattered conversations, random shots and quite a few laughs lasted a few hours which I have to admit made it worth all the trouble. For the most part anyway. ;) I guess I'd be willing to do it all again. Not anytime SOON of course.. But maybe some day! Have a fun Saturday!!! Who knows, I could be back with a new story later! :) -Super Mom

A good nights rest... What the hell is that?

It took a lot for me to not get up last night and write this out... As you may have read yesterday in the teething baby post, my daughter wakes up in the night still.. Magically, I am automatically the one who gets up to deal with her. We're talking getting formula, changing her diaper or attempting to stand and rock half awake to try to get her to snooze.. It's more than that sadly that keeps me from having a good nights sleep... When I get ready for bed I have a few ritual things I do before I allow myself to drift off to dreamland... Assuming the baby is already in bed, I check on her to make sure her legs are covered up (she sleeps with a blanket that is tucked under the mattress and only makes up to her waist.. calm down.), if I haven't already gotten a shower, I get one. After the shower  I get dressed and brush my teeth, plug in my phone after turning off the ringer and checking my alarm, I turn on the fan (yeah, I'm one of those... Even if it's freezing..), check on the baby again, move the pillows I won't be using (because I have ABOUT.. 9 pillows total on my bed..), climb into bed, adjust my pillows, pull up the blanket and close my eyes. If I lay there and am not totally ready to zonk out I'll either turn on the TV quietly, have some time with my husband or play on my phone. Once I go to sleep it's usually anywhere between 10 and 11:30ish.. Aside from the baby getting up (which is usually anywhere between 1 and 4am), I have other things that wake me up... Having to go to the bathroom, a crappy dream, my husband talking in his sleep, my husband getting in MY space on my side of the bed (we're talking more than cuddling.. more like smothering.. thankfully, doesn't happen that often), my husband snoring, having to get a drink, checking on the baby to make sure she hasn't rolled to her belly (most nights she does.. it still scares me..), having to reposition the blanket my husband has taken over, having to adjust the pillows that just aren't working right, trying to figure out if the sound I just heard was in my head or really the house, a child waking me (yes it's ALWAYS ME!) because of a bad dream, a child waking me because they don't feel good or I wake up because of one of those things and I end up THINKING about something that floods my thoughts no matter how hard I try to get rid of it. It's a vicious cycle that usually wins.. Before I know it, it's 7am and my alarm is going off or about to go off so I have to get up and get my kids ready for school. As if by some crazy coincidence (every freaking day...), by the time they are ready to walk out the door, my baby decides it's time for HER to get up... It's hard to be dragging when I look at the smiling face but my god...I don't drink coffee and I don't do energy drinks... Blah.. I kind of wish I had taken more naps while I was pregnant and was in the house by myself through the day... Think of the bits of energy I could have stored... I know it doesn't work that way but STILL! I would love a solid week of full nights sleep... No interruptions whatsoever... No baby stuff.. no dreams from anyone.. no snoring or creepy sounds or needing to pee in the middle of the night at all... Ahhhh.... It would be wonderful.. WONDERFUL! It's too bad that I probably won't know that feeling for a few years still... :( A good nights rest is just another thing for me to dream about. So when you lay your pretty little head down to go to sleep tonight, hopefully you can be thankful that you can lay there knowing you don't have to worry about this kind of stuff interrupting your slumber... And for those of you with similar bed time stories to mine... I am sorry.. I am so so sorry!!! Good luck tonight everyone! Here's hoping for 2 times awake or less and not MORE! :) Good night! -Super Mom

The horrific and maddening times of a teething baby... :/

Yes that's right... My once upon a time premie is now a soon to be nine month teething nightmare! The first one came a while back and she was a little fussier than usual but I understood.. "Poor little baby.." I would think. But NOW.. She's up to SIX teeth trying to come in and she's INSANE! I know that it's not her fault and it's just another part of a baby growing but my GOD man! Everything is intensified... Her crying.. her disregard for taking naps.. her mood swings.. her drool puddles. Don't get me wrong, with her little white smile she's very cute there's no denying it! Three little teeth on top and bottom shine bright when she does that little grin that melts my heart... Except.. she did the SAME grin after she leaned down to my arm and BIT ME today! I actually had six tiny impressions from her brief cannibalistic moment! I would've and should've taken a picture if my phone wasn't charging in the other room at that moment.... There is nothing that is safe in reach of that girl these days... toys.. cables.. clothes.. and even though she gets her hands on everything, she never seems to be happy with what she's got! I have bought rings that you put in the fridge, different soft chewy toys, rubber chewy toys and even give her popsicles to help... The whole process of trying to find the perfect thing is exhausting and I have yet discover it. It makes me feel like I'm shopping for my bulldog at the pet store.. That beast only has one toy (after purchasing SEVERAL....) that he hasn't totally destroyed yet and it's a mini TIRE! Hmmm... Now that I think about it.. Would I be considered a crazy person if I went to somewhere like say... PetSmart... and bought a tiny rubber tire like thing from the puppy section... hmmm....Oh I won't actually DO IT! Probably...  I honestly can't wait to be able to hand her something delicious and not have to worry about cutting it into nibble sized bites. Like here honey, have a cookie, a cracker, a banana or ANYTHING she can sink her teeth into. Seriously, I am all for the teeth BEING there... But GETTING there...AHHHHHHH!!!!  I remember back in the day (I won't tell you how far back... I mean I got bit today.. That's enough...) when I shared a room with my baby brother... I was almost asleep when mom crept in and put him in his crib on the other side of the room. She slowly closed the door behind her and just as I was about to be carried off to dreamland, I hear this loud, piercing SHRIEK coming from the crib. It wasn't stopping... I figured (or HOPED) that she would come right back in to inspect the situation or even take him OUT of the room but as I waited... Nothing... My mom wasn't coming in and my brother wasn't shutting up! I climbed out of my bed and walked over to him.. I looked down and because it was dark, I turned on the flashlight that was on my dresser and held it up enough for me to see without blinding him. As he wiggled and stretched and screamed with his mouth wide open I looked at his mouth and saw a tiny little glimmer of a white line.. His first tooth... I had thought he was so precious.. before that night and discovery... from then on it was like clockwork.. I would try to sleep or play or watch a show and his screams of discomfort (not that I thought that way at that age... but still..) were the only noises I could hear... Very annoying and seemed to go on for a very long time... Then I come back to the here and now... Damn... Six teeth seems like a lot.. but it's really not.. it's only been a few months but it's just going to keep going! Spitting out food and rubbing her face... Rolling all around refusing naps (AND getting up in the night..)... Picking up and throwing down thirty different toys because she can't find the right one (and neither can I!)... and worse... I have a feeling that I need to save my skin every time I see that pearly grinning mouth open because that little nibble she got today HURT! I know it's something every parent (and sibling) has to suffer through and I also know that I have a long way to go until she's at the perfect comfort level (if there even is such a thing for kids..) but having just put my whining teething monster to bed for the first time since 2:30... I just needed a second to vent... Thanks for absorbing all that for me! Have a great rest of your Tuesday night everyone and for the love of your skin, stay away from your baby's mouth! -The truly super TIRED (and apparently snack worthy) Super Mom