THANKS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! -Super Mom
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Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Monday, October 26, 2015
EEK! I would settle for a boring dream ANY DAY!
Good evening everyone...
I started writing this early because I had a very trippy and somewhat frightening dream last night... Normally, I wouldn't really SHARE these kinds.. But this was the first one like this I've ever had and I'm hoping it's the last! Sadly I had to do real life things before I could wrap it up this morning but after finally getting a chance to SIT DOWN and TYPE, I was able to finish it! Ok, enough blabbing... Let's get to it...
***Dream Sequence Starting Now***
I walk into a coffee shop and sit at the counter. I am not someone who usually visits coffee shops (since I don't drink coffee..) but this one was intriguing to me because it had all kinds of Halloween decorations outside and had a sweet sign saying "Come on in, if you dare... Come on in for a hellish scare!" How could I NOT go in and at least check out this "scare". So I go inside.. When I first go in, I see gobs of chunky spider webs strung up along the walls and ceiling. They are complete with hand sized spiders and other various insects. Not scary... There was a goblin statue taller than me standing behind the counter in the corner... Pretty cool.. but not scary.. I look around at the other store bought typical decorations and decide that the "hellish scare" sign was just a rouse to get me in the door to buy some damn coffee... Disappointed, I sit on one of the overly tall spinning stools at the counter. A man who was about 4'8" or so came waddling out from a set of doors behind the counter I hadn't noticed until then. He grunted as he scaled up what I assumed to be a foot stool of some kind. Then after a few huffs and puffs he was eye level with me. "Hey there sweetie! What can I get ya?" To humor him a little, I pretended to gaze up at the menu trying to figure out what I wanted. "Take your time. We've had some uh... changes so it might take a minute to find the perfect concoction." He was now rifling through some bins under the counter while he spoke. I started to say "Actually, I think I'll be..." Before I could finish my sentence telling him I was about to leave, I actually READ some of the things up on the big menu board. "Connie's left eye cocktail", "Menards musky melon juice", "Grizelda's gory cocoa" and other similar "spooky" simulated names littered the board. It reminded me of the Halloween decorations I would put in my kitchen around this time of the year. I chuckled a little as I kept reading. I swear I had been turned toward the door when I was talking to him but now I found myself facing the counter with both feet up on the rung of the stool like I had never planned to leave at all. The guy appeared from beneath the counter once more and leaned on one arm while he asked "I think I know what you need.. You uh, you're not scared by any of THIS are ya?" He asked while motioning to the decorations. "Not really... No." I said with a hint of a smile. "Yup, I know what you need. It's brand new, not even on the board yet! You'll love it!" He hopped off his little stool and darted through the doors behind him. While debating whether or not I should stay or go, I glanced around and noticed something very weird for a coffee shop in the middle of the day... I was the ONLY customer. I looked out the front windows by the door and it looked like it was the middle of the night! "Window tint... good one.." I thought as I spun back to the counter. I figured the guy must've been bored and was happy to have SOMEONE in the shop so I decided I would stay and see what this grand concoction was. As my swivel back to the counter came to a stop, I was startled to see the guy already standing eye to eye with me. He hadn't been gone that long at all and I never heard him come back! He was holding a frothy drink that was green on top and looked black on the bottom. It even seemed to have a little bit of a fog rolling off the top. Ok, it was a very cool looking drink and I'm sure it was just a colored type of coffee or cappuccino. "What kind of drink is this? I only ask because I don't really drink coffee... At all.." His smile widened a little further than what I thought it could.. It made him almost look not real. "It IS your lucky day then! This here isn't coffee. It actually tastes like Pepsi with cool spooky colors. You look like a soda girl." I didn't like coffee but I LOVED Pepsi.. How did he know that? That small voice in the back of my mind was saying "Why are you still sitting here? Have you ever seen Pepsi look like that? NO!" Even if that was true, it was so entrancing to watch the rolling smoke overflow off the side of the glass. He placed it in front of me and slowly slid it in my direction before plopping a straw right in the middle of it. I looked it over again and then, who knows why, smelled it before finally taking a sip. It was Pepsi. And it was good. Really good! I kept drinking it. I had this sudden feeling that I hadn't had a drink in a week! Half the glass was gone before I stopped and looked at the guy. He was laughing as his face started to change... His ears grew pointy and didn't stop growing until they reached past his head. His nose, though it was quite big already, started to grow away from his face. Patches of hair sprouted from his ears, forehead and around his cheeks and chin. His mouth widened even more and was filled with chunky rotted teeth. "Now you've done it.." the little voice in my head was saying. I stared at the creatures giant yellow eyes as he leaned down to me from his new height. "If you think this is scary, you ain't seen nothing yet sweetie." His breath smelled like vomit and eggs.. Not a combination you want in your face. I spun the stool around and put my left foot down on the ground. When I put my weight on it to step down, I heard glass shatter and suddenly had the urge to scream. I looked down at my foot as I was laying on the floor somehow. There was a giant pool of blood and shards of broken glass sticking out of my skin. There was a rush of mind numbing pain shooting up my left leg. The glass was coming OUT of my foot and leg... Somehow... "The bones in that foot there are now made of glass, well, busted glass now!" Said the thing behind the counter who was laughing and grabbing at his sides. Glass bones? What the hell was happening? I reached my hand into my purse in an attempt to grab my phone and call the cops. Once my right hand was concealed in the bag, the top of it scrunched around me. I tried to pull my hand free of the somehow faulty purse but nothing was happening! Then I started to feel something cool touch my skin. Cool.. and sharp. Very sharp. A blade! Something inside the bag was slicing at my wrist with a blade! It started to move faster and faster all while I'm screaming and frantically trying to get it off. By the time it dropped to the floor, I was ready to pass out. Black waves came over me and before I was out, I looked down my right arm and noticed more blood freely flowing. It was coming from where my right hand no longer was...
I woke up and to my amazement I was no longer in the coffee shop of horror. I was in a hospital. A clean white room with black baseboards lining the walls. There was a shiny silver lamp on the table next to me that looked brand new. There were no posters or anything on the walls but there were medical cabinets. In the corner was a small counter with a built in sink. "How did I get here.." I wondered. All of a sudden, my head was pounding and I felt very nauseous. Remembering my previous encounter, I started gasping as I looked at my right arm. There was no bandage... No blood.. And my hand was there. What the... I moved it up and down, squeezed the air, wiggled my fingers. Yeah, it was definitely there. There were no scars, scrapes or anything confirming it was ever gone in the first place. "So why am I here then? Oh my god, my foot!" I looked down expecting to still see shards of glass and was more alarmed when I saw nothing. Nothing but my ordinary leg and foot. Scared about the glass I was told about, I slowly wiggled my toes... Ok, nothing not normal there... "Was it a dream? No... No way." I fall back into the pillow behind and sigh with relief. "I'm ok!" I say to myself as I exhale. "But if I'm ok... why am I in a hospital? Who brought me here...?" Then I started looking around... With one blink the room had transformed into a horrific scene from a torture film. On the counter where there USED to be a sink, there was now just the counter filled with jagged rusty blades and tools I'd never seen before. The table next to me was nothing more than a giant tree stump stacked with duct tape, rope, chains and other bounding materials like fishing line and razor wire. I had to get out! I blinked again and as if some twisted dark magic had swept over me, I was bound to the hospital bed by plastic ties on my wrists and ankles. "HOW?!?" was being screamed inside my head. I started gasping for air and the bigger breaths I tried to take, the less air I seemed to be taking in. I tried to scream for some kind of help and instead only choked out small pitiful little screeches. Then I heard something that made my skin crawl... It was the sound of metal slowly scraping across concrete like it was being dragged. It was down the hall from me and my psychotic red room and it was coming toward me! I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to blink away everything but sadly, nothing happened except the sound growing louder with each passing second. I tried to pull and twist my hands out of the ties but all I achieved were major burns and the start of peeling skin on my wrists. I dropped my head on my chest and started crying even more than I had been. My tears felt hot and burned my skin. Seriously burned! I leaned as close to my arm as I could and watched a tear fall on it. When it did I knew that what was happening wasn't going to end well... My tear sizzled on my flesh as it made it's own little trail off my arm... I was crying acid... My face and arm felt like they were on fire which only made me cry that much more. I tried to stop and ended up screaming while trying to tilt my head as far back as I could. It seemed like ten minutes had gone by before I realized that I wasn't hearing the noise anymore. If I couldn't hear it... Could IT be hearing me? Was it standing right outside? What was IT anyway?!? I swallowed what little air I could before I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stop the tears completely. While they were closed I heard a loud creaking noise... The door.. Something or someone was coming in the door. "Don't look." The small voice was back again. "Keep them closed and whatever you do... Do NOT look!" The most morbid parts of me wanted to peek, especially since I KNEW there was all of that stuff around me that could mutilate and kill me. Another slow squeaking noise and then a click. The door was slowly being closed... I waited for any sign of life to hit my ears next but nothing came... No foot steps, no breathing... just.. Nothing. "Don't do it... It's a trick. You KNOW it's there. I can't tell you what it is... but you can't open your eyes.. Please don't look!" The voice had gone from demanding to sincerely scared sounding. Almost like the voice was someone who was looking out of me and could see exactly what was going on. Though it was hard to keep them squeezed together, that's exactly what I did. It felt like forever had passed before I started hearing a high pitched laughing coming from beside my bed. It reminded me of a scary movie I had seen as a kid. That's the kind of noise the character would hear right before they were dragged away or chopped into pieces! I didn't open them. The laughter continued and was accompanied by what sounded like an old dentist drill. "DON'T!" I heard in my head as I started to feel the sting of fresh acid tears coming on. I kept them closed and pressed my lips together to stop myself from screaming. I was scared. Not scared, terrified! The room started to shake. I could hear clanging and banging noises from things falling off of the shelf and walls. The laughter and drill were still going only now they were right next my head. I could smell the rusty scent of a blade as it spun just under my nose and felt the hot breath of whatever was laughing. Unable to stop myself I screamed and as I did, the blade that was spinning spun right into the side of my mouth slicing my cheek wide open. Though I didn't think it possible, the laughing grew even more shrill and close as blood poured down my face and neck. It was like that was what it liked to see. Tears fell through my closed eyes as I continued to scream and started to thrash around. Then the laughing stopped. I could feel myself slipping away. Feeling was leaving my hands.. then arms.. down my body.. My head dropped. There was only darkness around me... When I woke up, it was daylight. I was outside in the sun and there were people walking by. I was sitting on a bench. Again, remembering the horrific details of what I thought had just happened, I looked at my wrists then felt my face. "Holy shit!" I mutter. Nothing was wrong. AGAIN! I was starting to think I was in a constant loop of horror. I got up and started walking. I felt so thirsty. I looked around at the shops in search of something, ANYTHING to drink. Shoe store... pet store... Perfect! A coffee shop! It wasn't until I reached the door when I noticed it was the original shop I first walked into that made all of this crazy stuff happen! I backed away and was stopped by something. I turned to see what it was and it was a man. A tall, thin man with stringy hair, long fingers, pasty skin, dark eyes and wearing all black. He looked down at me and said "Let's go inside for a drink. I know you're thirsty." I started panting as my heart started racing. My eyes darted around to find someone to help me. The people who were walking around me previously were now frozen in various positions. It was like someone hit Pause on the world and only me and this freak talking to me were able to move. "I said let's go!" By the time the word "go" left his mouth, it had turned into a shrill, high pitched sound. Before I could say anything, the thing had his hands on my shoulders and was quickly walking me backwards right towards the coffee shop. He pushed me right through the glass door leaving shards on the floor and in my back. I was trying to wriggle out of his grasp but he pushed me with no resistance whatsoever. He stopped when I was right next to the spinning seat. He lifted me by the shoulders up to sit down in the exact same seat I had sat in the first time with the man/goblin creature. I felt a cold clamp go around both of my ankles holding me in place. "Why?!? How do I make this STOP!!!!????" I slammed my head down on the counter and kept doing it until I felt a big aching split.. Surprisingly... darkness... When I came to I had my head laying on the counter of the coffee shop. I started panicking until I looked up and saw the original man behind the counter. He was down a few seats serving coffee to an older couple. Before I attempted to make sense of anything I looked around again. There were people. The decorations were the same and the names of the drinks were still printed to look spooky for the holiday. "Hey there sweetie! I didn't know if you were going to wake up or not!" I looked at him uneasy waiting for the next transformation to happen. Anything could happen at this point! The older couple could really be snake people ready to sink fangs into me, the decorations could come to life and destroy me or again, the man could turn into the creature he was and do away with me. I felt exhausted. I saw a knife on the other side of his hand he was leaning on as he spoke to me. "Are you alright Miss? Or was that TOO scary?" He winked as he said the last part... "What did you do to me? What did you GIVE me?!" He looked shocked as I accused him. "You came in, ordered a Halloween Pepsi and when I went to put out the pastries from the oven I guess you fell asleep right there at the counter. You were still breathing so I figured you were ok. Should I call someone for you?" I looked at the drink next to me, it was almost empty. I smelled the liquid and it still smelled like Pepsi. By now the whole room had stopped their conversations and were looking at me. "What did you mean when you said "too scary" then?" I snapped. "The boss ordered special cups that makes it look like fog is pouring out of the drink but it's actually from the cup.. Then there's the ambience music playing. Some kids find it scary... I said it as a joke to be honest." His face looked like he was actually concerned and confused. I didn't even hear music until I actually started to listen... The sounds playing were like what you would hear when walking through a haunted house... Breaking glass... ghoulish noises... scraping metal... high pitched laughing... spinning blades... among other things... "Oh my god..." It all felt so real... "What's with the scare sign out front?" The man snorted a little. "My daughter loves Halloween and thought it would be clever to put a little spooky rhyme on the board to get people in here. She even brought in all these decorations and helped name the drinks. She said it was the most chilling coffee place around and we've had several compliments." I looked at him pleading with my eyes. I just wanted him to say that he was in fact a goblin and even though there were no signs, I had ACTUALLY gone through all of that stuff. "I'm sorry if you don't like it Miss. The Pepsi is on the house and if there's anything I can get for you or if you want me to call someone, you just say the word." I wanted to fall to the floor and cry.. I felt crazy. So I ordered a Pepsi, fell asleep and associated the music in the background with some horrific twisted nightmares.... I couldn't say anything else to him. I nodded as if he just knew what I was thinking and I walked toward the door. "Have a great day sweetie!" He yelled behind me. As I pushed the door open, I glanced back over my shoulder and standing there behind the counter leaning on his hands was the tall, disgusting creature. I gasped as he hopped the counter charging right at me with outstretched hands and then......
Then I woke up. Like ME in REAL life woke up. Isn't that something? What the hell kind of crappy dream cycle was THAT??? It was a trip anyway. I'll admit that I stayed in my bed for a few minutes and looked around before I deemed it safe to get up... I don't know if it was a snack gone wrong or the Pepsi I drank with my dinner... Either way... IT WAS A CRAZY ONE! If only you could jump inside my head to actually SEE what I saw... Since you cannot do such a thing, I'm hoping that I was able to convey some twisted pictures in your mind with my words. It would never be the same and yet... CREEPY! Here's to a boring, hopefully dreamless night... Sleep tight everyone!!! -Super Mom
I started writing this early because I had a very trippy and somewhat frightening dream last night... Normally, I wouldn't really SHARE these kinds.. But this was the first one like this I've ever had and I'm hoping it's the last! Sadly I had to do real life things before I could wrap it up this morning but after finally getting a chance to SIT DOWN and TYPE, I was able to finish it! Ok, enough blabbing... Let's get to it...
***Dream Sequence Starting Now***
I walk into a coffee shop and sit at the counter. I am not someone who usually visits coffee shops (since I don't drink coffee..) but this one was intriguing to me because it had all kinds of Halloween decorations outside and had a sweet sign saying "Come on in, if you dare... Come on in for a hellish scare!" How could I NOT go in and at least check out this "scare". So I go inside.. When I first go in, I see gobs of chunky spider webs strung up along the walls and ceiling. They are complete with hand sized spiders and other various insects. Not scary... There was a goblin statue taller than me standing behind the counter in the corner... Pretty cool.. but not scary.. I look around at the other store bought typical decorations and decide that the "hellish scare" sign was just a rouse to get me in the door to buy some damn coffee... Disappointed, I sit on one of the overly tall spinning stools at the counter. A man who was about 4'8" or so came waddling out from a set of doors behind the counter I hadn't noticed until then. He grunted as he scaled up what I assumed to be a foot stool of some kind. Then after a few huffs and puffs he was eye level with me. "Hey there sweetie! What can I get ya?" To humor him a little, I pretended to gaze up at the menu trying to figure out what I wanted. "Take your time. We've had some uh... changes so it might take a minute to find the perfect concoction." He was now rifling through some bins under the counter while he spoke. I started to say "Actually, I think I'll be..." Before I could finish my sentence telling him I was about to leave, I actually READ some of the things up on the big menu board. "Connie's left eye cocktail", "Menards musky melon juice", "Grizelda's gory cocoa" and other similar "spooky" simulated names littered the board. It reminded me of the Halloween decorations I would put in my kitchen around this time of the year. I chuckled a little as I kept reading. I swear I had been turned toward the door when I was talking to him but now I found myself facing the counter with both feet up on the rung of the stool like I had never planned to leave at all. The guy appeared from beneath the counter once more and leaned on one arm while he asked "I think I know what you need.. You uh, you're not scared by any of THIS are ya?" He asked while motioning to the decorations. "Not really... No." I said with a hint of a smile. "Yup, I know what you need. It's brand new, not even on the board yet! You'll love it!" He hopped off his little stool and darted through the doors behind him. While debating whether or not I should stay or go, I glanced around and noticed something very weird for a coffee shop in the middle of the day... I was the ONLY customer. I looked out the front windows by the door and it looked like it was the middle of the night! "Window tint... good one.." I thought as I spun back to the counter. I figured the guy must've been bored and was happy to have SOMEONE in the shop so I decided I would stay and see what this grand concoction was. As my swivel back to the counter came to a stop, I was startled to see the guy already standing eye to eye with me. He hadn't been gone that long at all and I never heard him come back! He was holding a frothy drink that was green on top and looked black on the bottom. It even seemed to have a little bit of a fog rolling off the top. Ok, it was a very cool looking drink and I'm sure it was just a colored type of coffee or cappuccino. "What kind of drink is this? I only ask because I don't really drink coffee... At all.." His smile widened a little further than what I thought it could.. It made him almost look not real. "It IS your lucky day then! This here isn't coffee. It actually tastes like Pepsi with cool spooky colors. You look like a soda girl." I didn't like coffee but I LOVED Pepsi.. How did he know that? That small voice in the back of my mind was saying "Why are you still sitting here? Have you ever seen Pepsi look like that? NO!" Even if that was true, it was so entrancing to watch the rolling smoke overflow off the side of the glass. He placed it in front of me and slowly slid it in my direction before plopping a straw right in the middle of it. I looked it over again and then, who knows why, smelled it before finally taking a sip. It was Pepsi. And it was good. Really good! I kept drinking it. I had this sudden feeling that I hadn't had a drink in a week! Half the glass was gone before I stopped and looked at the guy. He was laughing as his face started to change... His ears grew pointy and didn't stop growing until they reached past his head. His nose, though it was quite big already, started to grow away from his face. Patches of hair sprouted from his ears, forehead and around his cheeks and chin. His mouth widened even more and was filled with chunky rotted teeth. "Now you've done it.." the little voice in my head was saying. I stared at the creatures giant yellow eyes as he leaned down to me from his new height. "If you think this is scary, you ain't seen nothing yet sweetie." His breath smelled like vomit and eggs.. Not a combination you want in your face. I spun the stool around and put my left foot down on the ground. When I put my weight on it to step down, I heard glass shatter and suddenly had the urge to scream. I looked down at my foot as I was laying on the floor somehow. There was a giant pool of blood and shards of broken glass sticking out of my skin. There was a rush of mind numbing pain shooting up my left leg. The glass was coming OUT of my foot and leg... Somehow... "The bones in that foot there are now made of glass, well, busted glass now!" Said the thing behind the counter who was laughing and grabbing at his sides. Glass bones? What the hell was happening? I reached my hand into my purse in an attempt to grab my phone and call the cops. Once my right hand was concealed in the bag, the top of it scrunched around me. I tried to pull my hand free of the somehow faulty purse but nothing was happening! Then I started to feel something cool touch my skin. Cool.. and sharp. Very sharp. A blade! Something inside the bag was slicing at my wrist with a blade! It started to move faster and faster all while I'm screaming and frantically trying to get it off. By the time it dropped to the floor, I was ready to pass out. Black waves came over me and before I was out, I looked down my right arm and noticed more blood freely flowing. It was coming from where my right hand no longer was...
I woke up and to my amazement I was no longer in the coffee shop of horror. I was in a hospital. A clean white room with black baseboards lining the walls. There was a shiny silver lamp on the table next to me that looked brand new. There were no posters or anything on the walls but there were medical cabinets. In the corner was a small counter with a built in sink. "How did I get here.." I wondered. All of a sudden, my head was pounding and I felt very nauseous. Remembering my previous encounter, I started gasping as I looked at my right arm. There was no bandage... No blood.. And my hand was there. What the... I moved it up and down, squeezed the air, wiggled my fingers. Yeah, it was definitely there. There were no scars, scrapes or anything confirming it was ever gone in the first place. "So why am I here then? Oh my god, my foot!" I looked down expecting to still see shards of glass and was more alarmed when I saw nothing. Nothing but my ordinary leg and foot. Scared about the glass I was told about, I slowly wiggled my toes... Ok, nothing not normal there... "Was it a dream? No... No way." I fall back into the pillow behind and sigh with relief. "I'm ok!" I say to myself as I exhale. "But if I'm ok... why am I in a hospital? Who brought me here...?" Then I started looking around... With one blink the room had transformed into a horrific scene from a torture film. On the counter where there USED to be a sink, there was now just the counter filled with jagged rusty blades and tools I'd never seen before. The table next to me was nothing more than a giant tree stump stacked with duct tape, rope, chains and other bounding materials like fishing line and razor wire. I had to get out! I blinked again and as if some twisted dark magic had swept over me, I was bound to the hospital bed by plastic ties on my wrists and ankles. "HOW?!?" was being screamed inside my head. I started gasping for air and the bigger breaths I tried to take, the less air I seemed to be taking in. I tried to scream for some kind of help and instead only choked out small pitiful little screeches. Then I heard something that made my skin crawl... It was the sound of metal slowly scraping across concrete like it was being dragged. It was down the hall from me and my psychotic red room and it was coming toward me! I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to blink away everything but sadly, nothing happened except the sound growing louder with each passing second. I tried to pull and twist my hands out of the ties but all I achieved were major burns and the start of peeling skin on my wrists. I dropped my head on my chest and started crying even more than I had been. My tears felt hot and burned my skin. Seriously burned! I leaned as close to my arm as I could and watched a tear fall on it. When it did I knew that what was happening wasn't going to end well... My tear sizzled on my flesh as it made it's own little trail off my arm... I was crying acid... My face and arm felt like they were on fire which only made me cry that much more. I tried to stop and ended up screaming while trying to tilt my head as far back as I could. It seemed like ten minutes had gone by before I realized that I wasn't hearing the noise anymore. If I couldn't hear it... Could IT be hearing me? Was it standing right outside? What was IT anyway?!? I swallowed what little air I could before I squeezed my eyes shut trying to stop the tears completely. While they were closed I heard a loud creaking noise... The door.. Something or someone was coming in the door. "Don't look." The small voice was back again. "Keep them closed and whatever you do... Do NOT look!" The most morbid parts of me wanted to peek, especially since I KNEW there was all of that stuff around me that could mutilate and kill me. Another slow squeaking noise and then a click. The door was slowly being closed... I waited for any sign of life to hit my ears next but nothing came... No foot steps, no breathing... just.. Nothing. "Don't do it... It's a trick. You KNOW it's there. I can't tell you what it is... but you can't open your eyes.. Please don't look!" The voice had gone from demanding to sincerely scared sounding. Almost like the voice was someone who was looking out of me and could see exactly what was going on. Though it was hard to keep them squeezed together, that's exactly what I did. It felt like forever had passed before I started hearing a high pitched laughing coming from beside my bed. It reminded me of a scary movie I had seen as a kid. That's the kind of noise the character would hear right before they were dragged away or chopped into pieces! I didn't open them. The laughter continued and was accompanied by what sounded like an old dentist drill. "DON'T!" I heard in my head as I started to feel the sting of fresh acid tears coming on. I kept them closed and pressed my lips together to stop myself from screaming. I was scared. Not scared, terrified! The room started to shake. I could hear clanging and banging noises from things falling off of the shelf and walls. The laughter and drill were still going only now they were right next my head. I could smell the rusty scent of a blade as it spun just under my nose and felt the hot breath of whatever was laughing. Unable to stop myself I screamed and as I did, the blade that was spinning spun right into the side of my mouth slicing my cheek wide open. Though I didn't think it possible, the laughing grew even more shrill and close as blood poured down my face and neck. It was like that was what it liked to see. Tears fell through my closed eyes as I continued to scream and started to thrash around. Then the laughing stopped. I could feel myself slipping away. Feeling was leaving my hands.. then arms.. down my body.. My head dropped. There was only darkness around me... When I woke up, it was daylight. I was outside in the sun and there were people walking by. I was sitting on a bench. Again, remembering the horrific details of what I thought had just happened, I looked at my wrists then felt my face. "Holy shit!" I mutter. Nothing was wrong. AGAIN! I was starting to think I was in a constant loop of horror. I got up and started walking. I felt so thirsty. I looked around at the shops in search of something, ANYTHING to drink. Shoe store... pet store... Perfect! A coffee shop! It wasn't until I reached the door when I noticed it was the original shop I first walked into that made all of this crazy stuff happen! I backed away and was stopped by something. I turned to see what it was and it was a man. A tall, thin man with stringy hair, long fingers, pasty skin, dark eyes and wearing all black. He looked down at me and said "Let's go inside for a drink. I know you're thirsty." I started panting as my heart started racing. My eyes darted around to find someone to help me. The people who were walking around me previously were now frozen in various positions. It was like someone hit Pause on the world and only me and this freak talking to me were able to move. "I said let's go!" By the time the word "go" left his mouth, it had turned into a shrill, high pitched sound. Before I could say anything, the thing had his hands on my shoulders and was quickly walking me backwards right towards the coffee shop. He pushed me right through the glass door leaving shards on the floor and in my back. I was trying to wriggle out of his grasp but he pushed me with no resistance whatsoever. He stopped when I was right next to the spinning seat. He lifted me by the shoulders up to sit down in the exact same seat I had sat in the first time with the man/goblin creature. I felt a cold clamp go around both of my ankles holding me in place. "Why?!? How do I make this STOP!!!!????" I slammed my head down on the counter and kept doing it until I felt a big aching split.. Surprisingly... darkness... When I came to I had my head laying on the counter of the coffee shop. I started panicking until I looked up and saw the original man behind the counter. He was down a few seats serving coffee to an older couple. Before I attempted to make sense of anything I looked around again. There were people. The decorations were the same and the names of the drinks were still printed to look spooky for the holiday. "Hey there sweetie! I didn't know if you were going to wake up or not!" I looked at him uneasy waiting for the next transformation to happen. Anything could happen at this point! The older couple could really be snake people ready to sink fangs into me, the decorations could come to life and destroy me or again, the man could turn into the creature he was and do away with me. I felt exhausted. I saw a knife on the other side of his hand he was leaning on as he spoke to me. "Are you alright Miss? Or was that TOO scary?" He winked as he said the last part... "What did you do to me? What did you GIVE me?!" He looked shocked as I accused him. "You came in, ordered a Halloween Pepsi and when I went to put out the pastries from the oven I guess you fell asleep right there at the counter. You were still breathing so I figured you were ok. Should I call someone for you?" I looked at the drink next to me, it was almost empty. I smelled the liquid and it still smelled like Pepsi. By now the whole room had stopped their conversations and were looking at me. "What did you mean when you said "too scary" then?" I snapped. "The boss ordered special cups that makes it look like fog is pouring out of the drink but it's actually from the cup.. Then there's the ambience music playing. Some kids find it scary... I said it as a joke to be honest." His face looked like he was actually concerned and confused. I didn't even hear music until I actually started to listen... The sounds playing were like what you would hear when walking through a haunted house... Breaking glass... ghoulish noises... scraping metal... high pitched laughing... spinning blades... among other things... "Oh my god..." It all felt so real... "What's with the scare sign out front?" The man snorted a little. "My daughter loves Halloween and thought it would be clever to put a little spooky rhyme on the board to get people in here. She even brought in all these decorations and helped name the drinks. She said it was the most chilling coffee place around and we've had several compliments." I looked at him pleading with my eyes. I just wanted him to say that he was in fact a goblin and even though there were no signs, I had ACTUALLY gone through all of that stuff. "I'm sorry if you don't like it Miss. The Pepsi is on the house and if there's anything I can get for you or if you want me to call someone, you just say the word." I wanted to fall to the floor and cry.. I felt crazy. So I ordered a Pepsi, fell asleep and associated the music in the background with some horrific twisted nightmares.... I couldn't say anything else to him. I nodded as if he just knew what I was thinking and I walked toward the door. "Have a great day sweetie!" He yelled behind me. As I pushed the door open, I glanced back over my shoulder and standing there behind the counter leaning on his hands was the tall, disgusting creature. I gasped as he hopped the counter charging right at me with outstretched hands and then......
Then I woke up. Like ME in REAL life woke up. Isn't that something? What the hell kind of crappy dream cycle was THAT??? It was a trip anyway. I'll admit that I stayed in my bed for a few minutes and looked around before I deemed it safe to get up... I don't know if it was a snack gone wrong or the Pepsi I drank with my dinner... Either way... IT WAS A CRAZY ONE! If only you could jump inside my head to actually SEE what I saw... Since you cannot do such a thing, I'm hoping that I was able to convey some twisted pictures in your mind with my words. It would never be the same and yet... CREEPY! Here's to a boring, hopefully dreamless night... Sleep tight everyone!!! -Super Mom
Monday, October 19, 2015
Sometimes...
Though there is a "usual routine" that we all tend to follow in our day to day lives... It's almost necessary to have those "sometimes" moments interrupt the usual.. In a way.. Those moments or things are what make up who WE are... I'll give you a few of MY sometimes moments and things.. Maybe you can relate.. Maybe you will think I'm crazy.. Either way.. Here we go!
Sometimes I wear yoga pants to bed because I will just KNOW I won't want to get dressed the next day.. and I don't...
Sometimes I'd rather scrub my floors than put on makeup...
Sometimes I wear a hat instead of doing my 40 minute hair regime...
Sometimes I order pizza even if I don't want to eat it just so I won't have to cook...
Sometimes I am one of those scary Wal-Mart people you see after midnight...
Sometimes I go to the bathroom in the dark in the middle of the night and I look over my shoulder into the hallway the entire time.. just incase...
Sometimes I kick little kids out of my game lobby... And I don't feel bad about it.. They don't belong there anyway..
Sometimes I feel a sneeze coming on and immediately stop what I'm doing so I have time to cross my legs before it comes... 3 kids.. Just incase....
Sometimes I wait for my fuel light to come on before I even think about getting gas...
Sometimes I feel like a Sim when I try to let in as much light into my house as possible... (They feel happier when you do that on the game and SO DO I!)
Sometimes I growl when I get hurt... (Stub my toe or hit my not so funny bone..)
Sometimes I get tired of being the go to person for killing spiders in my house... Yup.. EVERYONE calls me... Even my husband...
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll be under a tree mowing the lawn or something and a snake will fall on me.. I would die... Seriously...
Sometimes I wonder what people say about me behind my back... Not that I give a damn at all... But I'm sure it would be interesting to say the least if I were a fly on someone's wall.. Even for a day...
Sometimes I wish I could stay in bed and just SLEEP for a solid 24 hours... No interruptions, no errands, chores, calls, questions, NOTHING... Just solid hibernating sleep...
Sometimes I wish I had magical powers... I'd want them ALL! Mind powers... Flying.. Disappearing... Yup.. ALL OF THEM!
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get a call from a long lost or never known relative who wants to leave everything they have to me...
Sometimes I wish I had a stupid idea to make me lots of money.. Seems like all you need is a stupid idea for a TV Show, toy or App... Working on it...
Sometimes I get annoyed that I put so much into something and don't get the appreciation I expect...
Sometimes I get frustrated when all I want is a nice fountain Pepsi and it tastes gross... How they can't seem to get the mixture of syrup and carbonation right I'll never know...
Sometimes I binge watch old TV shows... Sometimes you just have to...
Sometimes I wonder what my wedding would be like if I had the chance to do it all over... For starters.. EVERYONE that WAS in it.. (Aside from my husband of course) WOULDN'T be again...
Sometimes I get frustrated when people with money complain to me about how they don't have money... Come on people... To me? Really? Go grab your $40 tissue and cry to someone else!
Sometimes I wonder why mopeds are allowed on the road... Have you ever been stuck behind one of those? It SUCKS! My longest stretch... 8 miles... 8 miles at 20mph feels horrible.... GET A LICENSE!
Sometimes I hide snacks so my kids or husband can't find them... Even if I don't intend on snacking on it for a few days... I still tuck it away...
Sometimes I think people take me being nice as being weak or dumb... BIG MISTAKE! You know who you are...
Sometimes I think about crashing onto the set of the Walking Dead while they film... They're only a few hours away after all... Ahhh... to meet them all... Even if it was while I was being arrested...
Sometimes I have the same dreams and or nightmares multiple times... Sometimes I can change them but most of the time I'm just stuck with the same outcomes...
Sometimes I log onto my bank account and hope there will be a huge, mysterious (and LEGAL!) deposit made...
Sometimes I wish I could be a master saver...
Sometimes I scare people just so I can have a good laugh.. A little demented sure... But hey.. It's who I am!
Sometimes I dance and sing in the shower.. After all.. Sometimes, it is the only ME time I get so.. why not?
Sometimes while I sing in the car, I wonder if I'm being recorded by some crazy hidden camera show... It doesn't STOP me but still.. it makes me wonder every now and then..
Sometimes I wish I could just skip holidays... Like Christmas... So commercial and stressing now... I would keep the tree... The rest of the dramatics can kiss my ass...
Sometimes I wish I could speak a rare language just so I could gauge peoples reactions when speaking it around them...
Sometimes my phone rings when I'm holding it to my hear having a fake conversation in an attempt to avoid store salesmen not associated with the actual store... Yeah.. It's happened a few times... Other than THOSE times, it works!
Sometimes I gross my husband out by telling him I drink KFC gravy.. I don't actually DO IT but he even thinks it's gross to lick the side of the bowl where it spills over! Come on now... A true KFC lover has definitely done that... Anyway, he calls that drinking gravy... Must be jealous...
Sometimes I get annoyed at the text response "k". It's like.. can you really not add the O to OK... Is it REALLY holding you up THAT much? One letter... Why even text back??? Anyway...
Ok! That is a few (or more...) of my sometimes things... Maybe you have some that made you say "Yeah that's me!" and maybe you don't.. Either way, that's my post for this lovely Monday night! I hope you all have a good one and feel free to leave me with one of your "sometimes" things!
Good night! -Super Mom
Sometimes I wear yoga pants to bed because I will just KNOW I won't want to get dressed the next day.. and I don't...
Sometimes I'd rather scrub my floors than put on makeup...
Sometimes I wear a hat instead of doing my 40 minute hair regime...
Sometimes I order pizza even if I don't want to eat it just so I won't have to cook...
Sometimes I am one of those scary Wal-Mart people you see after midnight...
Sometimes I go to the bathroom in the dark in the middle of the night and I look over my shoulder into the hallway the entire time.. just incase...
Sometimes I kick little kids out of my game lobby... And I don't feel bad about it.. They don't belong there anyway..
Sometimes I feel a sneeze coming on and immediately stop what I'm doing so I have time to cross my legs before it comes... 3 kids.. Just incase....
Sometimes I wait for my fuel light to come on before I even think about getting gas...
Sometimes I feel like a Sim when I try to let in as much light into my house as possible... (They feel happier when you do that on the game and SO DO I!)
Sometimes I growl when I get hurt... (Stub my toe or hit my not so funny bone..)
Sometimes I get tired of being the go to person for killing spiders in my house... Yup.. EVERYONE calls me... Even my husband...
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'll be under a tree mowing the lawn or something and a snake will fall on me.. I would die... Seriously...
Sometimes I wonder what people say about me behind my back... Not that I give a damn at all... But I'm sure it would be interesting to say the least if I were a fly on someone's wall.. Even for a day...
Sometimes I wish I could stay in bed and just SLEEP for a solid 24 hours... No interruptions, no errands, chores, calls, questions, NOTHING... Just solid hibernating sleep...
Sometimes I wish I had magical powers... I'd want them ALL! Mind powers... Flying.. Disappearing... Yup.. ALL OF THEM!
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get a call from a long lost or never known relative who wants to leave everything they have to me...
Sometimes I wish I had a stupid idea to make me lots of money.. Seems like all you need is a stupid idea for a TV Show, toy or App... Working on it...
Sometimes I get annoyed that I put so much into something and don't get the appreciation I expect...
Sometimes I get frustrated when all I want is a nice fountain Pepsi and it tastes gross... How they can't seem to get the mixture of syrup and carbonation right I'll never know...
Sometimes I binge watch old TV shows... Sometimes you just have to...
Sometimes I wonder what my wedding would be like if I had the chance to do it all over... For starters.. EVERYONE that WAS in it.. (Aside from my husband of course) WOULDN'T be again...
Sometimes I get frustrated when people with money complain to me about how they don't have money... Come on people... To me? Really? Go grab your $40 tissue and cry to someone else!
Sometimes I wonder why mopeds are allowed on the road... Have you ever been stuck behind one of those? It SUCKS! My longest stretch... 8 miles... 8 miles at 20mph feels horrible.... GET A LICENSE!
Sometimes I hide snacks so my kids or husband can't find them... Even if I don't intend on snacking on it for a few days... I still tuck it away...
Sometimes I think people take me being nice as being weak or dumb... BIG MISTAKE! You know who you are...
Sometimes I think about crashing onto the set of the Walking Dead while they film... They're only a few hours away after all... Ahhh... to meet them all... Even if it was while I was being arrested...
Sometimes I have the same dreams and or nightmares multiple times... Sometimes I can change them but most of the time I'm just stuck with the same outcomes...
Sometimes I log onto my bank account and hope there will be a huge, mysterious (and LEGAL!) deposit made...
Sometimes I wish I could be a master saver...
Sometimes I scare people just so I can have a good laugh.. A little demented sure... But hey.. It's who I am!
Sometimes I dance and sing in the shower.. After all.. Sometimes, it is the only ME time I get so.. why not?
Sometimes while I sing in the car, I wonder if I'm being recorded by some crazy hidden camera show... It doesn't STOP me but still.. it makes me wonder every now and then..
Sometimes I wish I could just skip holidays... Like Christmas... So commercial and stressing now... I would keep the tree... The rest of the dramatics can kiss my ass...
Sometimes I wish I could speak a rare language just so I could gauge peoples reactions when speaking it around them...
Sometimes my phone rings when I'm holding it to my hear having a fake conversation in an attempt to avoid store salesmen not associated with the actual store... Yeah.. It's happened a few times... Other than THOSE times, it works!
Sometimes I gross my husband out by telling him I drink KFC gravy.. I don't actually DO IT but he even thinks it's gross to lick the side of the bowl where it spills over! Come on now... A true KFC lover has definitely done that... Anyway, he calls that drinking gravy... Must be jealous...
Sometimes I get annoyed at the text response "k". It's like.. can you really not add the O to OK... Is it REALLY holding you up THAT much? One letter... Why even text back??? Anyway...
Ok! That is a few (or more...) of my sometimes things... Maybe you have some that made you say "Yeah that's me!" and maybe you don't.. Either way, that's my post for this lovely Monday night! I hope you all have a good one and feel free to leave me with one of your "sometimes" things!
Good night! -Super Mom
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
My run in with LASIK..... NOT GOOD!
The more I write on here about my life, job and family, the more you guys tend to find out about me and them. You probably know by now that I have three children and a husband who has been in the military and police force.. Well this story is about my husband and the journey we embarked on all because I wanted to make him happy... Ready, set, shoot me...
To let you all know a key factor to this story, I will tell you that my husband has worn glasses for most of his life. They date all the way back to elementary some time he tells me. When we first started dating he would simply NOT WEAR THEM because he thought that I thought he looked better without them. Obviously the more time we spent together... the more he would squint when necessary and eventually, yes, would have to put his glasses on. I learned early on that he was not a contacts guy. Too much hassle and maintenance as opposed to sliding glasses on your face. Either way was fine with me! He was in the Marines for six and a half years and more than once he had told me he would LOVE to have LASIK and just not have to worry about glasses anymore. Aside from being expensive as hell (and NOT covered by insurance), it also scared the hell out of me. I have an aunt who had it done years ago and had complications.. And though I don't know the full extent of all that.. The thought of something slipping or screwing up... Terrified me! He would only mention it briefly then let it go and eventually it would be a lost conversation that would resurface every few years when his glasses would fall off or he'd be tediously cleaning them... He made it through years of the military and a few years as a cop with his glasses... Now he is a maintenance supervisor (weird twist, I know..) and he's up into things all the time. I can understand and appreciate the frustration with having that job and glasses.. So with that thought in mind, a couple weeks ago I started researching LASIK and the nearby offices, the surgeons near me, the time of the procedure, the cost scales, the care routine... ALL OF IT. Finally I saw that the Lasik Vision Institute had a "20% Off Procedure!" thing going and it was posted right under a block that said "As low as $299 per eye!". After going back and forth for a while, I decided to call the number. I told the lady it was for my husband. She told me the consultation was free and if I booked the appointment right then, I would receive the 20% off the actual procedure if there was one. I made the appointment in the nearest certified Lasik Institute office which is 45 minutes from us for 10am that Friday (Monday I had called..) and when I hung up with her I immediately called my husband. I was excited to hear him be excited... I told him about the appointment and he said it was great. (He doesn't get all enthused over stuff like me on the off chance that it doesn't happen.. Such a downer sometimes..) The days passed then it was Friday. He took the girls to school and went to work for a while in the morning and came home to pick me up to go. We made it there 15 minutes early, started filling out paperwork and was ready to go in there at his appointment time... Yeah RIGHT! This is where it STARTED getting crazy... He didn't get IN there to get all scoped out until almost noon! (Keep in mind that I had the baby in a stroller... that only has SO LONG before she's over it...fun fun fun...) They end up dilating his pupils and tell me that I'll be driving us home. Ok... The manager of everything sits us down at 1:15 and explains that he has a very high prescription and that years ago he wouldn't have been able to do the surgery. However, their lasers are so pristine and have come so far that he fits in as a candidate! She goes on telling us all the good stuff and then hits me with a brick.. "We can get him in for surgery next Saturday and it will only be $1799 per eye!" My heart sank... I felt like I had been kicked in the throat.. The wave of dread and shock hit me so hard that without control, I started crying... SHE was really trying to sell it like it was a DEAL and for all I know it could be but it was nowhere near what I was expecting.. At all.. Had it been the total for BOTH EYES, then sure but no.... Nope.. $3600 that we don't have just lying around for my husband to be able to see without glasses... I had a Care Credit account I had opened for emergency medical crap the year before and there was $1400 available to use. But that would've been too easy... I asked for a Kleenex and was quietly sobbing and checking the time. Soon we would have to head back so my kids wouldn't get off the bus without us there. She asked me what was wrong and I told her it was just a major shock. Not to mention we had already been in the damn place for almost four hours... I felt horrible. After hearing that she lowered it $3200... I told her that was nice but we still couldn't do it. She asked if I wanted to UP my limit on my card.. I told her not really but she could try. They moved it up to $2400. Great... She Lowered it again to $3000 flat. I sat at the desk with my head in my hands trying to stop myself from leaking. She left the room and came back a few minutes later. "They said I can make $2800. We can put most of it on the card and you would just need the $400 balance". I started thinking of who to call since the previous month cost us almost $680 of our savings between our two vehicles. I called my aunt and was trying like hell to not bawl in her ear to explain what was going on.. We had to leave the office to go home.. I talk to her and eventually calm down on the drive home. She starts taking my information to help when my husbands phone rings in the passenger seat. I hear him say things like "Really? That's great! Thank you so much..." and so on. He hangs up the phone and tells me we don't need to borrow the money anymore. I look at him confused... "That was the lady from the office, they will do it for $2400 so it can all go on the card." I drop my mouth in a better shock.. "Really?!?" I start telling my aunt and all she could do was laugh and tell me I have a skill and a gift if I made them drop their price $1200 in the last twenty minutes! I was so happy! He said I had to call the office back when we got home to go over a few things. We grabbed lunch on the way home and made it with twenty minutes to spare before the girls got home. I called the office and got the same girl who was helping us. "I just felt terrible because you were so upset and I know you guys want this so much...." and so on. I thanked her and asked if the surgery would be the next Saturday. She came back with "We could actually get him in TOMORROW if you would like." My stomach started fluttering... It was a mix of nerves, anxiety and excitement. I asked my husband and he said if he could do the next day that would be great. We set it up, paid the $100 deposit to hold the appointment time of 11:30am and gave her pharmacy information so she could get his prescription out and he could start taking his needed drops that day and following the surgery. We get all that squared away and I run to grab some groceries. While we're out (my oldest daughter came with me so I wouldn't go alone.. so sweet...) we hit a few little stores and got what we needed. I was on my way to grab our pizza for dinner before running to the pharmacy. Since I was hitting every SINGLE red light on the way, I decided to call and see if it was even ready. It was.. She asked if he had insurance and because he does all of that through the VA.. I said that I would just have to pay for it since they didn't call it in.. She said "They're kind of expensive.." I thought, they're two bottles of eye drops... what's considered expensive for THAT? Then I got my answer... "The first one is the antibiotic and that one is $79.." Here we go again, kick to the throat! "And the other one is up there... It's the steroid and it's $150.." The tears were welling again. Why can things NOT just be SIMPLE!?! This whole plan started with good intentions... I had no idea there would be so many negatives for the BIG positive... She said she was going to see if she could get it down any kind of way. Hopefully... I thought. We made it to the pizza place and walk inside. I walk up to the counter and before I could get my wallet out, the ass wad who had come in BEHIND us cuts us off and orders two hot and ready's. I look at the girl at the register and ask "Are you f***ing kidding me right now?" And the dude leaves with his two pizzas.. Of course because it's ME, they were the LAST two pizzas. So we were asked to sit down and wait the ten freaking minutes for the new ones... Doesn't sound like a long time but after the emotional wreck of a day I was having... it felt like forever.. FINALLY we got the food and headed out to the pharmacy where I was hoping like hell that something would've change in that $230 price... We go in and head to the back... I give a lady my name and she said "So you DON'T have a card for him?" I looked at her for a second before saying "No..." She gave me the total... It hadn't changed. Not twelve seconds had gone by from her saying that had a tear rolled down my face. "I'm sorry... This day has been... AAAHHH! I'm sorry.." I turned around and started blotting my face with my sleeves. My daughter looked up at me and said "Don't cry mom.." and five seconds later I could see her eyes starting to rim up with tears.. Oh my God... Why won't this day just END already! The lady behind the counter looked at us and told us we can't be doing all that because she was a sensitive person and soon SHE would start crying if we didn't stop. Ten seconds after she said that, two tears rolled down both of HER cheeks! It was an epidemic! Leaking faces everywhere!!! She looked at my phone and asked if I had internet on it as she swiped a Kleenex across her face. I told her it did. She took and went back and forth from my phones screen to her computer screen... A few minutes later she says, "Ok, I got one down to $30" I looked at her confused as hell and asked "So the $80 one is now $30?" She said "No, the $150 one is now $30.. And the $80 one is now $12.99.." I was FLOORED! "What the hell did you do?" I didn't want to ask but seriously, I was so confused and nauseous and starting to get happy... "It's a site... It doesn't always have the right codes but for these two it did. The new total is $44.10.." I laughed a little and said "It is so hard to NOT climb over this counter and kiss you right now! I mean it, you have made my night!" Then (because obviously I'm pretty broken..) tears were welling again. Happy tears at least! I hugged my daughter who was now smiling and wiping hers away. I paid the lady and went to the car... We finally made it home, ate, got the girls in bed and got him going on his drops... Things were finally starting to seem better... The very next morning, my husband would walk out of that building with no glasses and be HAPPY about it... I tried fishing for excitement by saying things like "This is the LAST day you'll be wearing glasses..." I got nothing. "I will be excited when it's done." is all I got from him... My goodness... The next day we were up, got breakfast and are gone. It was a rainy blah kind of day but that wasn't getting in the way of what was coming! We get there at 11 like she had suggested so he could fill out his form for the day and be in there by 11:30.. The office was packed... This office has a nation renowned surgeon who comes from a different city only on Saturdays to do the surgeries.. And apparently, he had a LOT of patients to do.... After sitting against the wall due to lack of seating, we decided to wait in the car and watch a movie on the laptop... He didn't receive his paper to fill out until 1:15... I went in after he did that and let her swipe the card for the $2300 (because of the 100 we had paid the night before..) and she said he would be in soon. 2:05 is when he was called back. They told me I could leave and they would call me when he was done because even though the actual surgery took only seconds, it would be anywhere from 2-3 hours in the recovery just to be sure everything went well... I hugged him and kissed him and wished him luck (Yes, I was still scared...) and I pulled out of the lot and headed towards the mall. Thankfully, it was only two miles away and big enough where I figured we could walk the whole thing and be done at just about the same time he would be. We get the baby in the stroller and cover it from the rain then darted inside. We were cruising around the second story looking for anything resembling lunch for about 40 minutes when I get a text.. a text from my husband that said "Come get me". As I pulled up his number to call him I thought "damn that was fast!" I called.. "Done already?" He answered.. "No. I'll tell you about it when you get here.." Now my heart was racing.. first off.. we had been at the damn office for HOURS.. AGAIN.. and he did not sound happy... I started making my way back after loading the kids up.. I called him again to ask what the deal was and he told me that when the surgeon actually LOOKED at his case, he didn't feel comfortable doing the surgery without a second examination.. So they scheduled it for the next Thursday telling my husband he would be able to be the first in line for surgery the next Saturday. My husband did the right thing by waiting outside of the office because as sad as I had been the day before, by that moment I was equally pissed off and more than ready to tell someone about it. I called the lady in the office from my phone to ask personally what the problem was... Apparently, the doctor who scoped him out the day before never SENT the results to the surgeon to go over and because his case was so extreme, he didn't feel comfortable without a second look... Oh my.... We head back home and decide to call friends to meet us for a dinner. They do. We then make plans to stop at the party store and have the friends come over for a movie later. They do. We had drinks, watched a nice movie and even played games and actually had FUN. It was much needed fun after the few days we had been put through... I felt so bad that he went to bed that night putting his glasses next to the bed on the table... Sunday was a relaxed chill day. We lounged around, played with the kids and had a relaxing lovey day. A very nice end... Monday came and it was back to the routine as usual - get up, get the kids up, dressed, breakfast, make lunches, kiss them and my husband good bye and feed the baby.. Before my husband left he said how much it sucked that he would have to take more time off work for Thursday and how we would probably be there for hours again.. "I know..." I said. He left.. A few hours went by and my phone rang... It was my husband... "Well I don't have to worry about Thursday." I answered "Oh no? Why is that?" He goes "The doctor from the office just called me. Apparently, after REALLY looking into my numbers and specs, my case is out of reach of what the laser is capable of and so I am no longer able to get the surgery..." Are you F***ING SERIOUS!!! I started crying (surprise, surprise..) I swore into the phone between gasps... He asked why I was crying and I said "I know you have wanted this for SO LONG and I've always been scared.. I finally get it together and set it up, we spend HOURS in that damn office, they tell you you're getting it, they lower the price for us, we go back and now.. it was all for NOTHING. Now I know why you don't get excited for stuff! I feel so bad because I was excited FOR YOU and now... nothing... I feel so bad for even trying.. I would've rather gone on with you being annoyed at me for being ridiculous instead of going through all of this shit for nothing...." He told me it was ok and that maybe SOME day it might work. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they didn't go in while uncomfortable and put a laser in his eye... But why say ONE thing if you don't know for SURE??? That was last Monday when they supposedly started the refund process of our $100 and the $2300 to the card... Neither has been seen yet... As for the drops, we're just ass out on those. Thank GOD they weren't $230 like they started out... All in all it's been a rough one. Exhausting, disappointing, time consuming, frustrating and more.... All.. for nothing... The place we went to is not one that I will be recommending anytime soon if ever... I have no more confidence there... So in the end, the miracle surgery didn't happen... my husband still wears his glasses and is still gorgeous as ever but I wish that this was the one time where I didn't have to tell him he was right... :/ The moral of the story if there is one... Don't get too excited if it's an up in the air thing AND if someone tries to tell you you're getting a "great deal" as it breaks your bank.. Shed a few tears.. Because apparently you can haggle when it comes to surgery and other things...... Happy Wednesday! -Super Mom
To let you all know a key factor to this story, I will tell you that my husband has worn glasses for most of his life. They date all the way back to elementary some time he tells me. When we first started dating he would simply NOT WEAR THEM because he thought that I thought he looked better without them. Obviously the more time we spent together... the more he would squint when necessary and eventually, yes, would have to put his glasses on. I learned early on that he was not a contacts guy. Too much hassle and maintenance as opposed to sliding glasses on your face. Either way was fine with me! He was in the Marines for six and a half years and more than once he had told me he would LOVE to have LASIK and just not have to worry about glasses anymore. Aside from being expensive as hell (and NOT covered by insurance), it also scared the hell out of me. I have an aunt who had it done years ago and had complications.. And though I don't know the full extent of all that.. The thought of something slipping or screwing up... Terrified me! He would only mention it briefly then let it go and eventually it would be a lost conversation that would resurface every few years when his glasses would fall off or he'd be tediously cleaning them... He made it through years of the military and a few years as a cop with his glasses... Now he is a maintenance supervisor (weird twist, I know..) and he's up into things all the time. I can understand and appreciate the frustration with having that job and glasses.. So with that thought in mind, a couple weeks ago I started researching LASIK and the nearby offices, the surgeons near me, the time of the procedure, the cost scales, the care routine... ALL OF IT. Finally I saw that the Lasik Vision Institute had a "20% Off Procedure!" thing going and it was posted right under a block that said "As low as $299 per eye!". After going back and forth for a while, I decided to call the number. I told the lady it was for my husband. She told me the consultation was free and if I booked the appointment right then, I would receive the 20% off the actual procedure if there was one. I made the appointment in the nearest certified Lasik Institute office which is 45 minutes from us for 10am that Friday (Monday I had called..) and when I hung up with her I immediately called my husband. I was excited to hear him be excited... I told him about the appointment and he said it was great. (He doesn't get all enthused over stuff like me on the off chance that it doesn't happen.. Such a downer sometimes..) The days passed then it was Friday. He took the girls to school and went to work for a while in the morning and came home to pick me up to go. We made it there 15 minutes early, started filling out paperwork and was ready to go in there at his appointment time... Yeah RIGHT! This is where it STARTED getting crazy... He didn't get IN there to get all scoped out until almost noon! (Keep in mind that I had the baby in a stroller... that only has SO LONG before she's over it...fun fun fun...) They end up dilating his pupils and tell me that I'll be driving us home. Ok... The manager of everything sits us down at 1:15 and explains that he has a very high prescription and that years ago he wouldn't have been able to do the surgery. However, their lasers are so pristine and have come so far that he fits in as a candidate! She goes on telling us all the good stuff and then hits me with a brick.. "We can get him in for surgery next Saturday and it will only be $1799 per eye!" My heart sank... I felt like I had been kicked in the throat.. The wave of dread and shock hit me so hard that without control, I started crying... SHE was really trying to sell it like it was a DEAL and for all I know it could be but it was nowhere near what I was expecting.. At all.. Had it been the total for BOTH EYES, then sure but no.... Nope.. $3600 that we don't have just lying around for my husband to be able to see without glasses... I had a Care Credit account I had opened for emergency medical crap the year before and there was $1400 available to use. But that would've been too easy... I asked for a Kleenex and was quietly sobbing and checking the time. Soon we would have to head back so my kids wouldn't get off the bus without us there. She asked me what was wrong and I told her it was just a major shock. Not to mention we had already been in the damn place for almost four hours... I felt horrible. After hearing that she lowered it $3200... I told her that was nice but we still couldn't do it. She asked if I wanted to UP my limit on my card.. I told her not really but she could try. They moved it up to $2400. Great... She Lowered it again to $3000 flat. I sat at the desk with my head in my hands trying to stop myself from leaking. She left the room and came back a few minutes later. "They said I can make $2800. We can put most of it on the card and you would just need the $400 balance". I started thinking of who to call since the previous month cost us almost $680 of our savings between our two vehicles. I called my aunt and was trying like hell to not bawl in her ear to explain what was going on.. We had to leave the office to go home.. I talk to her and eventually calm down on the drive home. She starts taking my information to help when my husbands phone rings in the passenger seat. I hear him say things like "Really? That's great! Thank you so much..." and so on. He hangs up the phone and tells me we don't need to borrow the money anymore. I look at him confused... "That was the lady from the office, they will do it for $2400 so it can all go on the card." I drop my mouth in a better shock.. "Really?!?" I start telling my aunt and all she could do was laugh and tell me I have a skill and a gift if I made them drop their price $1200 in the last twenty minutes! I was so happy! He said I had to call the office back when we got home to go over a few things. We grabbed lunch on the way home and made it with twenty minutes to spare before the girls got home. I called the office and got the same girl who was helping us. "I just felt terrible because you were so upset and I know you guys want this so much...." and so on. I thanked her and asked if the surgery would be the next Saturday. She came back with "We could actually get him in TOMORROW if you would like." My stomach started fluttering... It was a mix of nerves, anxiety and excitement. I asked my husband and he said if he could do the next day that would be great. We set it up, paid the $100 deposit to hold the appointment time of 11:30am and gave her pharmacy information so she could get his prescription out and he could start taking his needed drops that day and following the surgery. We get all that squared away and I run to grab some groceries. While we're out (my oldest daughter came with me so I wouldn't go alone.. so sweet...) we hit a few little stores and got what we needed. I was on my way to grab our pizza for dinner before running to the pharmacy. Since I was hitting every SINGLE red light on the way, I decided to call and see if it was even ready. It was.. She asked if he had insurance and because he does all of that through the VA.. I said that I would just have to pay for it since they didn't call it in.. She said "They're kind of expensive.." I thought, they're two bottles of eye drops... what's considered expensive for THAT? Then I got my answer... "The first one is the antibiotic and that one is $79.." Here we go again, kick to the throat! "And the other one is up there... It's the steroid and it's $150.." The tears were welling again. Why can things NOT just be SIMPLE!?! This whole plan started with good intentions... I had no idea there would be so many negatives for the BIG positive... She said she was going to see if she could get it down any kind of way. Hopefully... I thought. We made it to the pizza place and walk inside. I walk up to the counter and before I could get my wallet out, the ass wad who had come in BEHIND us cuts us off and orders two hot and ready's. I look at the girl at the register and ask "Are you f***ing kidding me right now?" And the dude leaves with his two pizzas.. Of course because it's ME, they were the LAST two pizzas. So we were asked to sit down and wait the ten freaking minutes for the new ones... Doesn't sound like a long time but after the emotional wreck of a day I was having... it felt like forever.. FINALLY we got the food and headed out to the pharmacy where I was hoping like hell that something would've change in that $230 price... We go in and head to the back... I give a lady my name and she said "So you DON'T have a card for him?" I looked at her for a second before saying "No..." She gave me the total... It hadn't changed. Not twelve seconds had gone by from her saying that had a tear rolled down my face. "I'm sorry... This day has been... AAAHHH! I'm sorry.." I turned around and started blotting my face with my sleeves. My daughter looked up at me and said "Don't cry mom.." and five seconds later I could see her eyes starting to rim up with tears.. Oh my God... Why won't this day just END already! The lady behind the counter looked at us and told us we can't be doing all that because she was a sensitive person and soon SHE would start crying if we didn't stop. Ten seconds after she said that, two tears rolled down both of HER cheeks! It was an epidemic! Leaking faces everywhere!!! She looked at my phone and asked if I had internet on it as she swiped a Kleenex across her face. I told her it did. She took and went back and forth from my phones screen to her computer screen... A few minutes later she says, "Ok, I got one down to $30" I looked at her confused as hell and asked "So the $80 one is now $30?" She said "No, the $150 one is now $30.. And the $80 one is now $12.99.." I was FLOORED! "What the hell did you do?" I didn't want to ask but seriously, I was so confused and nauseous and starting to get happy... "It's a site... It doesn't always have the right codes but for these two it did. The new total is $44.10.." I laughed a little and said "It is so hard to NOT climb over this counter and kiss you right now! I mean it, you have made my night!" Then (because obviously I'm pretty broken..) tears were welling again. Happy tears at least! I hugged my daughter who was now smiling and wiping hers away. I paid the lady and went to the car... We finally made it home, ate, got the girls in bed and got him going on his drops... Things were finally starting to seem better... The very next morning, my husband would walk out of that building with no glasses and be HAPPY about it... I tried fishing for excitement by saying things like "This is the LAST day you'll be wearing glasses..." I got nothing. "I will be excited when it's done." is all I got from him... My goodness... The next day we were up, got breakfast and are gone. It was a rainy blah kind of day but that wasn't getting in the way of what was coming! We get there at 11 like she had suggested so he could fill out his form for the day and be in there by 11:30.. The office was packed... This office has a nation renowned surgeon who comes from a different city only on Saturdays to do the surgeries.. And apparently, he had a LOT of patients to do.... After sitting against the wall due to lack of seating, we decided to wait in the car and watch a movie on the laptop... He didn't receive his paper to fill out until 1:15... I went in after he did that and let her swipe the card for the $2300 (because of the 100 we had paid the night before..) and she said he would be in soon. 2:05 is when he was called back. They told me I could leave and they would call me when he was done because even though the actual surgery took only seconds, it would be anywhere from 2-3 hours in the recovery just to be sure everything went well... I hugged him and kissed him and wished him luck (Yes, I was still scared...) and I pulled out of the lot and headed towards the mall. Thankfully, it was only two miles away and big enough where I figured we could walk the whole thing and be done at just about the same time he would be. We get the baby in the stroller and cover it from the rain then darted inside. We were cruising around the second story looking for anything resembling lunch for about 40 minutes when I get a text.. a text from my husband that said "Come get me". As I pulled up his number to call him I thought "damn that was fast!" I called.. "Done already?" He answered.. "No. I'll tell you about it when you get here.." Now my heart was racing.. first off.. we had been at the damn office for HOURS.. AGAIN.. and he did not sound happy... I started making my way back after loading the kids up.. I called him again to ask what the deal was and he told me that when the surgeon actually LOOKED at his case, he didn't feel comfortable doing the surgery without a second examination.. So they scheduled it for the next Thursday telling my husband he would be able to be the first in line for surgery the next Saturday. My husband did the right thing by waiting outside of the office because as sad as I had been the day before, by that moment I was equally pissed off and more than ready to tell someone about it. I called the lady in the office from my phone to ask personally what the problem was... Apparently, the doctor who scoped him out the day before never SENT the results to the surgeon to go over and because his case was so extreme, he didn't feel comfortable without a second look... Oh my.... We head back home and decide to call friends to meet us for a dinner. They do. We then make plans to stop at the party store and have the friends come over for a movie later. They do. We had drinks, watched a nice movie and even played games and actually had FUN. It was much needed fun after the few days we had been put through... I felt so bad that he went to bed that night putting his glasses next to the bed on the table... Sunday was a relaxed chill day. We lounged around, played with the kids and had a relaxing lovey day. A very nice end... Monday came and it was back to the routine as usual - get up, get the kids up, dressed, breakfast, make lunches, kiss them and my husband good bye and feed the baby.. Before my husband left he said how much it sucked that he would have to take more time off work for Thursday and how we would probably be there for hours again.. "I know..." I said. He left.. A few hours went by and my phone rang... It was my husband... "Well I don't have to worry about Thursday." I answered "Oh no? Why is that?" He goes "The doctor from the office just called me. Apparently, after REALLY looking into my numbers and specs, my case is out of reach of what the laser is capable of and so I am no longer able to get the surgery..." Are you F***ING SERIOUS!!! I started crying (surprise, surprise..) I swore into the phone between gasps... He asked why I was crying and I said "I know you have wanted this for SO LONG and I've always been scared.. I finally get it together and set it up, we spend HOURS in that damn office, they tell you you're getting it, they lower the price for us, we go back and now.. it was all for NOTHING. Now I know why you don't get excited for stuff! I feel so bad because I was excited FOR YOU and now... nothing... I feel so bad for even trying.. I would've rather gone on with you being annoyed at me for being ridiculous instead of going through all of this shit for nothing...." He told me it was ok and that maybe SOME day it might work. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they didn't go in while uncomfortable and put a laser in his eye... But why say ONE thing if you don't know for SURE??? That was last Monday when they supposedly started the refund process of our $100 and the $2300 to the card... Neither has been seen yet... As for the drops, we're just ass out on those. Thank GOD they weren't $230 like they started out... All in all it's been a rough one. Exhausting, disappointing, time consuming, frustrating and more.... All.. for nothing... The place we went to is not one that I will be recommending anytime soon if ever... I have no more confidence there... So in the end, the miracle surgery didn't happen... my husband still wears his glasses and is still gorgeous as ever but I wish that this was the one time where I didn't have to tell him he was right... :/ The moral of the story if there is one... Don't get too excited if it's an up in the air thing AND if someone tries to tell you you're getting a "great deal" as it breaks your bank.. Shed a few tears.. Because apparently you can haggle when it comes to surgery and other things...... Happy Wednesday! -Super Mom
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Moms... What's in YOUR purse? :/
You know, I've thought about writing this many times about this particular subject. It hits me every time I dig into my giant, heavy, filled with everyone else's stuff, purse... In a normal woman's purse, she could very easily reach into her average size shoulder bag or clutch and pull out a pen within seconds... Me finding a pen..? Puh-Lease! It takes TWO hands and more than two minutes and even with that, there's still no guarantee that I am coming out with a pen even though there are at least two in there... It's maddening! No matter how many times I clean the freaking thing, by the end of the week it feels like I'm carrying a cinder block on my shoulder! Add that, a grocery bag or two AND a baby... FORGET ABOUT THAT! I swear I could put some lifters to shame in the gym. Seriously... Rock arms from a purse... Anyway, let's take a look at the variety of purse carriers out there and then you will see why us moms have it so rough...
Carrier: Toddlers and their cute little play purses...
Contents: Anything from small toys, brushes, or pieces of snack foods they decided to save...
Weight Comparison: A few empty plastic bottles up to a bottle of water...
Carrier: Kids and their little mom hand me down play purses...
Contents: Pencils, pens, brushes, their favorite doll, candy, some dress up jewelry...
Weight Comparison: One to two bottles of water or less...
Carrier: Tweens and their cutesy little handbags from the mall....
Contents: Sparkly lip gloss (or five), a mirror, a brush, a pen, small pad of paper, mp3 player..
Weight Comparison: One bottle of water or less...
Carrier: Teens...
Contents: Cell phone, a tampon or two or pads, chap stick or lip gloss, a pen, extra eyeliner, gum or mints, small wallet...
Weight Comparison: Between one bottle of water and three bottles of water.. depending..
Carrier: Working Non Mother......
Contents: Wallet, cell phone, chap stick, lip stick, pen, gum, lady things.., business cards, change, maybe a piece of mail and receipts...
Weight Comparison: Two to four bottles of water depending on size of bag and amount of each thing..
And finally....... The purse of all purses.... The bag no one actually WANTS to carry... A Moms purse!!! Before I give the details on this, I'm going to put MY OWN PURSE into this category and it's contents. There is no exaggeration here ladies and gentlemen... This is everything IN my purse since the last time I cleaned it.. (About a week ago... Keep in mind that's about 7 days with this purse and some of those were spent somewhere with children... ) Ok... Are you ready... Here is MY mom purse...
Carrier: ME! (A mother of three who does photography and has a big Vera bag... Think tote like almost...)
Contents: A big wallet (containing cards, rarely cash, some change, check book, a few pictures, and some receipts for bigger things..) two kinds of chap stick, about four colors of lip gloss and sticks, cell phone, two pens, some yogurt melts for the baby, two different chewy toys for the baby, two diapers and a slim pack of wipes for the baby, two hair bands and clips, three glasses wipes, a small bottle of Tylenol, a stack of business cards, two bills, a set of earbuds, a notebook sized planner for events, three tampons, travel size deodorant my daughter didn't want to carry after we bought it, a headband my other daughter didn't want to wear while at a store, hand sanitizer, three kinds of gum, four band aids, a Bluetooth earpiece, a dedicated coin purse to keep change out of my wallet, a small bottle of perfume, coupons for free Bath and bodyworks lotion, a nail file, nail clippers, a pack of Kleenex, a wad of receipts and a few napkins....
Weight Comparison: Carrying it all the time... it feels like a half case of water OR a small elephant!
I know what you're thinking... "Why not just put half of that crap in a diaper bag and carry that?" BECAUSE that would end up adding MORE to carry! And who the hell wants to carry MORE than all THAT??? Not this girl... I DO have a diaper bag that I keep in the car for when I need it... It's contents are almost as much as my purse but they all pertain to the baby.. (Extra outfit, baby powder, lotion, band aids, wipes, food and of course diapers among other things..) Or you might be thinking this.. "Just clean your bag every night or simply don't LET anyone put anything in your bag or get a smaller bag!" Let me answer that with... YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! Clean it every night... No thanks! By the time I get home and get the damn thing off my arms, it sits alone on the shelf until I need it again. I already have three kids and a husband to tend to at the end of the day... I don't need another time slot added for a bag... And not letting them.. Hmm... I agree with the phrase "Choose your battles" and though most times when I catch them trying to stuff something in their for THEIR convenience, some times, I just want to hurry up at wherever I am so we can all just get the hell out of there safely and sanely. (For the most part anyway!) Lastly, a smaller bag..? Seriously... I also believe (to a degree) that it's better to have it and not need then to need it and not have it... Obviously I don't pack up my whole house in there but come on.. Band aids and hand sanitizer.. with kids... Uh, yeah... I think that's ok! That and I also like having the option to be able to smuggle in full bags of candy into the movie theater when I go. Not that I actually DO THAT.... Just.. like having the option.... It's crazy because I will have just cleaned my purse out and then go to the store and both my kids AND my husband act as if it's a "DUMP ALL YOUR CRAP HERE!" kind of thing and before I know it, my neat and tidy bag is full of gum wrappers, hair wear, jewelry they changed their minds about, baby toys, cups, mail, and oh my goodness it just goes on and on... They throw it in and I get strap imprints on my freaking shoulder. :/ Oh to be a mom.... I'm going to go ahead and get all this crap out of here just like I did last week... Wish me luck! -Super Mom
Carrier: Toddlers and their cute little play purses...
Contents: Anything from small toys, brushes, or pieces of snack foods they decided to save...
Weight Comparison: A few empty plastic bottles up to a bottle of water...
Carrier: Kids and their little mom hand me down play purses...
Contents: Pencils, pens, brushes, their favorite doll, candy, some dress up jewelry...
Weight Comparison: One to two bottles of water or less...
Carrier: Tweens and their cutesy little handbags from the mall....
Contents: Sparkly lip gloss (or five), a mirror, a brush, a pen, small pad of paper, mp3 player..
Weight Comparison: One bottle of water or less...
Carrier: Teens...
Contents: Cell phone, a tampon or two or pads, chap stick or lip gloss, a pen, extra eyeliner, gum or mints, small wallet...
Weight Comparison: Between one bottle of water and three bottles of water.. depending..
Carrier: Working Non Mother......
Contents: Wallet, cell phone, chap stick, lip stick, pen, gum, lady things.., business cards, change, maybe a piece of mail and receipts...
Weight Comparison: Two to four bottles of water depending on size of bag and amount of each thing..
And finally....... The purse of all purses.... The bag no one actually WANTS to carry... A Moms purse!!! Before I give the details on this, I'm going to put MY OWN PURSE into this category and it's contents. There is no exaggeration here ladies and gentlemen... This is everything IN my purse since the last time I cleaned it.. (About a week ago... Keep in mind that's about 7 days with this purse and some of those were spent somewhere with children... ) Ok... Are you ready... Here is MY mom purse...
Carrier: ME! (A mother of three who does photography and has a big Vera bag... Think tote like almost...)
Contents: A big wallet (containing cards, rarely cash, some change, check book, a few pictures, and some receipts for bigger things..) two kinds of chap stick, about four colors of lip gloss and sticks, cell phone, two pens, some yogurt melts for the baby, two different chewy toys for the baby, two diapers and a slim pack of wipes for the baby, two hair bands and clips, three glasses wipes, a small bottle of Tylenol, a stack of business cards, two bills, a set of earbuds, a notebook sized planner for events, three tampons, travel size deodorant my daughter didn't want to carry after we bought it, a headband my other daughter didn't want to wear while at a store, hand sanitizer, three kinds of gum, four band aids, a Bluetooth earpiece, a dedicated coin purse to keep change out of my wallet, a small bottle of perfume, coupons for free Bath and bodyworks lotion, a nail file, nail clippers, a pack of Kleenex, a wad of receipts and a few napkins....
Weight Comparison: Carrying it all the time... it feels like a half case of water OR a small elephant!
I know what you're thinking... "Why not just put half of that crap in a diaper bag and carry that?" BECAUSE that would end up adding MORE to carry! And who the hell wants to carry MORE than all THAT??? Not this girl... I DO have a diaper bag that I keep in the car for when I need it... It's contents are almost as much as my purse but they all pertain to the baby.. (Extra outfit, baby powder, lotion, band aids, wipes, food and of course diapers among other things..) Or you might be thinking this.. "Just clean your bag every night or simply don't LET anyone put anything in your bag or get a smaller bag!" Let me answer that with... YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! Clean it every night... No thanks! By the time I get home and get the damn thing off my arms, it sits alone on the shelf until I need it again. I already have three kids and a husband to tend to at the end of the day... I don't need another time slot added for a bag... And not letting them.. Hmm... I agree with the phrase "Choose your battles" and though most times when I catch them trying to stuff something in their for THEIR convenience, some times, I just want to hurry up at wherever I am so we can all just get the hell out of there safely and sanely. (For the most part anyway!) Lastly, a smaller bag..? Seriously... I also believe (to a degree) that it's better to have it and not need then to need it and not have it... Obviously I don't pack up my whole house in there but come on.. Band aids and hand sanitizer.. with kids... Uh, yeah... I think that's ok! That and I also like having the option to be able to smuggle in full bags of candy into the movie theater when I go. Not that I actually DO THAT.... Just.. like having the option.... It's crazy because I will have just cleaned my purse out and then go to the store and both my kids AND my husband act as if it's a "DUMP ALL YOUR CRAP HERE!" kind of thing and before I know it, my neat and tidy bag is full of gum wrappers, hair wear, jewelry they changed their minds about, baby toys, cups, mail, and oh my goodness it just goes on and on... They throw it in and I get strap imprints on my freaking shoulder. :/ Oh to be a mom.... I'm going to go ahead and get all this crap out of here just like I did last week... Wish me luck! -Super Mom
Monday, October 5, 2015
Getting ready for a dinner date.. Guys vs Girls....
You already know from the title what the topic is.. If you have ever rolled your eyes in disgust at the thought of this title then you should know exactly where I'm going to go with it.. I'm going to give you a quick guy vs girl look at getting ready to go out on a nice dinner date with your person... In MY case anyway (and MANY others too I'm sure... and if not.. you all suck...) :) Keep in mind that the little scenario here is leaving OUT all the extra fun the kids and everyday life dispense... with all THAT we'd have a small book! So we'll just stick to the title for today and try not to mix it in with everything else...Also keep in mind that my husband and I "go out" alone MAYBE three times a year.. and so yes.. it feels like we're actually DATING when we go. That's how rare it is to be somewhere together without kids, toys, bottles and diaper bags... Here we go...
A week before the date....
Me: "How about we get a sitter and go out to eat just the two of us this weekend.."
Husband: "Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"
Me: "Hmm... I'll think about it."
Husband: "Ok."
Four days before the date....
Me thinking: Do I want to wear a dress... or a skirt.. Or this... No.. Ooooo... THIS! If I could just... get it.. ON... There.. Oh yeah.. I would date me.. Wait.. what the.. a HOLE? Seriously?!? Damn it!!! No...... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG! *Throws not so perfect outfit in the back of the closet before leaving and watching a show*
Three days before the date....
Me calling husband: "Where do you think we should go to eat? It's up to you."
Husband: "Umm... Olive Garden?"
Me: "hmm... Not really feeling THAT.... or Chinese... or Mexican... anything else though..."
Husband: "So... McDonalds?"
Me: "Hahaha... No. Not McDonalds. I don't know.. maybe... something with steak and salad? I don't know."
Husband: "We'll figure something out I'm sure.."
Me: "Ok ok... love you bye."
Husband: "love you, bye."
The day before the date....
Me thinking: I should've bought a dress... But I don't always wear them.. I'll just do a skirt.. With THIS shirt maybe... Oh my God I need to paint my toenails! That's bad... and why... Man I wish my legs weren't so freaking WHITE! I look like I have a disease or something.. I think I'm too white for a vampire even.. Freaking Twilight! Better white than super hairy I guess.. Nope, not going with a skirt! Maybe I'll wear pants... Dressy pants with a cute top... But WHICH top... This is so f***ing annoying! Maybe we'll just hit a drive thru alone.. Ooooo.. how romantic... BLAH! This sucks... I can't find what I want!! *as I rifle through smashed together hanging garments in my bursting closet...* Whatever.. I still have tomorrow. *Give up and leave the room.*
The morning of the date....
Me thinking: Holy shit, look at that hair! I need spray.. my straightener.. I should've straightened yesterday... Whoa... I need HELP is what I need.. *Start straightening hair for the first time...*
Later...
Me thinking: Why does my hair look really good on one side and poofy on the other? Grrr... Stay DOWN! *Applying spray and straightening hair for the second time* Ok.. find the top.... Too big.. too tight.. too blah... Ahhh... here we go.. Got the shirt.. got the pants.. got the.. shoe? Where the hell is the other shoe.... Girls!!!!! *Go to daughters bedroom.. rifle through the closet, toy box, under the bed...* Ah ha! In the Lego box.. Why wouldn't it be in the Lego box... *Go back to my room..*
Me calling husband: "are you getting off work at the normal time (5pm) and do you want to eat around 6?"
Husband: "I should be and sure."
Later....
My getting ready.... Time lapse of about... 45-60 minutes..
Jump in the shower and NOT getting my previously straightened hair wet, get out, put on pants, shirt (after the underwear things of course), go to the vanity start the makeup... Foundation, bronzer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner. Hmm.. Mascara..? Sure.. Mascara. Get in the jewelry drawer for a bracelet, a nice watch, a necklace and earrings... Look in the mirror.. See semi poofy hair.. Go for round three with the straightener... Spray hair.. Grab deodorant then perfume... Last minute look in the mirror.. Good. Glance at the clock.. should be here any time.. Grab my heels, slip them on, grab some lip gloss for a quick shine.. Done... About damn time...
Husband gets home and gets ready... Time lapse of no more than... 10 minutes.. and that's a stretch...
He jumps in the shower, grabs shampoo, rinses and gets out, towel dry's hair, adds gel and slicks it into place with his fingers.. Hair is done... Goes to his closet and grabs some dark jeans and a solid black shirt.. Puts them on.. Grabs socks.. Puts them on.. Same with shoes... Goes and puts on deodorant and a spritz of cologne... Throws a watch on and guess what... he's DONE!
I look at him and think "My God he looks good..." and then think "God being a woman sucks some times... Here I am getting ready and thinking about this night for DAYS and he gets in and out of the shower and his closet in under ten minutes ready to go... What a load of......."
So yeah... I usually have to touch up the hair AGAIN before we stroll out. Isn't that just the way... So much for a special night.. SO much time and effort for an hour or two to fly by... Yeah.. Some times.. Being a woman just sucks! And as usual.. Men have it so easy..... Suckers. Still love the time though. And thankfully, he doesn't ever NOT tell me I'm not looking good! (Is that right? lol) So at least my prep time (MAJOR PREP TIME) and effort never go unnoticed! ;)
Hoping I'm not the only one out there with this problem... You know who you are! :) Happy Monday everyone!!! -Super Mom
A week before the date....
Me: "How about we get a sitter and go out to eat just the two of us this weekend.."
Husband: "Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"
Me: "Hmm... I'll think about it."
Husband: "Ok."
Four days before the date....
Me thinking: Do I want to wear a dress... or a skirt.. Or this... No.. Ooooo... THIS! If I could just... get it.. ON... There.. Oh yeah.. I would date me.. Wait.. what the.. a HOLE? Seriously?!? Damn it!!! No...... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG! *Throws not so perfect outfit in the back of the closet before leaving and watching a show*
Three days before the date....
Me calling husband: "Where do you think we should go to eat? It's up to you."
Husband: "Umm... Olive Garden?"
Me: "hmm... Not really feeling THAT.... or Chinese... or Mexican... anything else though..."
Husband: "So... McDonalds?"
Me: "Hahaha... No. Not McDonalds. I don't know.. maybe... something with steak and salad? I don't know."
Husband: "We'll figure something out I'm sure.."
Me: "Ok ok... love you bye."
Husband: "love you, bye."
The day before the date....
Me thinking: I should've bought a dress... But I don't always wear them.. I'll just do a skirt.. With THIS shirt maybe... Oh my God I need to paint my toenails! That's bad... and why... Man I wish my legs weren't so freaking WHITE! I look like I have a disease or something.. I think I'm too white for a vampire even.. Freaking Twilight! Better white than super hairy I guess.. Nope, not going with a skirt! Maybe I'll wear pants... Dressy pants with a cute top... But WHICH top... This is so f***ing annoying! Maybe we'll just hit a drive thru alone.. Ooooo.. how romantic... BLAH! This sucks... I can't find what I want!! *as I rifle through smashed together hanging garments in my bursting closet...* Whatever.. I still have tomorrow. *Give up and leave the room.*
The morning of the date....
Me thinking: Holy shit, look at that hair! I need spray.. my straightener.. I should've straightened yesterday... Whoa... I need HELP is what I need.. *Start straightening hair for the first time...*
Later...
Me thinking: Why does my hair look really good on one side and poofy on the other? Grrr... Stay DOWN! *Applying spray and straightening hair for the second time* Ok.. find the top.... Too big.. too tight.. too blah... Ahhh... here we go.. Got the shirt.. got the pants.. got the.. shoe? Where the hell is the other shoe.... Girls!!!!! *Go to daughters bedroom.. rifle through the closet, toy box, under the bed...* Ah ha! In the Lego box.. Why wouldn't it be in the Lego box... *Go back to my room..*
Me calling husband: "are you getting off work at the normal time (5pm) and do you want to eat around 6?"
Husband: "I should be and sure."
Later....
My getting ready.... Time lapse of about... 45-60 minutes..
Jump in the shower and NOT getting my previously straightened hair wet, get out, put on pants, shirt (after the underwear things of course), go to the vanity start the makeup... Foundation, bronzer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner. Hmm.. Mascara..? Sure.. Mascara. Get in the jewelry drawer for a bracelet, a nice watch, a necklace and earrings... Look in the mirror.. See semi poofy hair.. Go for round three with the straightener... Spray hair.. Grab deodorant then perfume... Last minute look in the mirror.. Good. Glance at the clock.. should be here any time.. Grab my heels, slip them on, grab some lip gloss for a quick shine.. Done... About damn time...
Husband gets home and gets ready... Time lapse of no more than... 10 minutes.. and that's a stretch...
He jumps in the shower, grabs shampoo, rinses and gets out, towel dry's hair, adds gel and slicks it into place with his fingers.. Hair is done... Goes to his closet and grabs some dark jeans and a solid black shirt.. Puts them on.. Grabs socks.. Puts them on.. Same with shoes... Goes and puts on deodorant and a spritz of cologne... Throws a watch on and guess what... he's DONE!
I look at him and think "My God he looks good..." and then think "God being a woman sucks some times... Here I am getting ready and thinking about this night for DAYS and he gets in and out of the shower and his closet in under ten minutes ready to go... What a load of......."
So yeah... I usually have to touch up the hair AGAIN before we stroll out. Isn't that just the way... So much for a special night.. SO much time and effort for an hour or two to fly by... Yeah.. Some times.. Being a woman just sucks! And as usual.. Men have it so easy..... Suckers. Still love the time though. And thankfully, he doesn't ever NOT tell me I'm not looking good! (Is that right? lol) So at least my prep time (MAJOR PREP TIME) and effort never go unnoticed! ;)
Hoping I'm not the only one out there with this problem... You know who you are! :) Happy Monday everyone!!! -Super Mom
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