AYTF

Good morning. It's 5:50 am, 38 degrees and dark outside, my toddler is taking up most of my bed and to top it off... I have know I idea why the HELL I'm sitting here typing words instead of trying to sleep until my alarm goes off TWO HOURS from now! Some people say you have the most clarity as soon as you wake up... Those people.. are idiots. But, since I AM here, let's talk.
       Yesterday I was scrolling through old stories on here like I sometimes do and saw the highest read story... The remaining hospital days from when my youngest daughter (the now bed hogging toddler) was born. It's crazy, but as I read that very long post, I was taken back to those moments. The heart ache. The despair. The agonizing feeling of not KNOWING. When I left my hospital stay after the usual two days, I left alone. My daughter, being born a month early and just ten days before Christmas, had to stay behind. It was saddening, scary, and nothing I've ever felt before. Until now. I wrote a post on Facebook dedicated to my best friend. She's always in my heart and mind and I knew that it would make her smile when she woke up at 4:30 this morning for work if she saw it. I believe it worked. Have you ever wanted to give someone something that would make that person so unbelievably happy that they'd both laugh and cry? To brighten every day for them because you know that they need it and deserve it. How about this, have you ever been close enough to someone to feel what they feel? Be it happy... sad... devastated.? That's a real thing. Without getting into all of it and removing the scab, I will just say that someone near and dear to me went through something awful. I was with her for every part. From surprised.. pure joy.. caution.. worry.. sorrow. I felt the rainbow of emotions as she did (Yes I'm aware it's not the SAME for both of us). All I wanted to do is give her the world. The happiest most gentle spirit I've ever known was no longer happy. Do you know how crushing that is? VERY! I try like hell to be the best version of the friend I can be. To be unlike other people and make her laugh instead of keeping her in the sadness. Thankfully, I do a pretty good job I think. Though being insane and chaotic may also help... I already KNOW this, but the whole experience just magnified the thought. This is my best friend and my sister. I think if we were both in a Jigsaw trap and I needed to cut off an arm to set her free, I would do that. I mean it would SUCK afterwards... But I would. Crazy right? What's amazing to me is that this person came into my life years ago and has BEEN THERE ever since. She is a part of my life. A stranger met by chance in a sucky work place. The more we talked, the closer we got. We never went backwards. She was there for me when I had to leave the hospital without my daughter. She watched my kids so I could do a job. She has sat through SO MANY horror movies simply because she knows I love them. (She on the other hand... does not love them..) Amazing. Some times I think of how different my life would be if we'd never met. Well I try. It never works. She has been a part of SO MUCH that I seriously can't imagine life without her. What I'm going to leave with is this... If you have a friend like this in your life, make sure you treat them how they treat you. Don't let it turn into some one sided convenience. Make sure that you give as much as you receive. If you don't, one of the lights in your life could go out for good. I don't know about you, but I am thankful I'm not stuck in the dark. AYTF. (Appreciate your true friends). 

For those who haven't read The Remaining hospital days post I mentioned, take a look! Have a great Saturday everyone!

-SuperMom