The one night I sleep good...

I played a video game last night during my "me time". That fine time when kids are in bed, house crap is settled and it's just myself to entertain before I resort to bedtime. I played.. then read a few boring posts.. scrolled through a few not so great deals.. took a shower.. brushed my teeth.. climbed in bed.. scrolled through some Halloween ideas.. and finally, plugged in the phone, killed the lights and settled down in bed. It was just after midnight.The blankets up to my neck. The fan casting a breeze over my face. My head sinking into my pillow like it was being cradled by ginormous soft hands. Before I knew it... I fell asleep. For the first night in quite some time, I didn't wake up to do anything. I slept until sun poked through my door around 7:15ish. What are the odds right? I get on here yesterday and wonder why I CAN'T sleep and then BAM! Like a baby. The only thing that sucked... Drum roll please.... The dream.  How I didn't wake up, I'm not quite sure but I was able to be apart of the entire thing. Sadly. Let's dig around and see if I can paint you the same picture I was stuck in for hours last night...

It was a bad day. Not like "Oh no, I burned dinner!" bad.. More like I got zapped by a rogue light switch after my car smashed into a median after I swerved to avoid a flaming semi coming at me head on after I decided to take the freeway because my normal route was blocked for construction removing trees. Among other bad luck things. I sat in what seemed like a hospital. I told this doctor who looked as old as the ratty building that it felt like death was trying to grab me today and just barely missing every time." I said it as a joke and expected some kind of chuckle at least but instead he looked up from his chart and stared at me. I didn't notice until then that one of his eyes was gauged bigger than the other with an overwhelming black pupil that took up most of it. I looked away for a moment then sighed telling him I felt fine and asking if I was cleared to head home or at the very least, be able to call for my rental car arrangements. After a few seconds of nothing, I looked back and he was still locked onto me. His expression never changed. Feeling creeped  out, I asked if HE was feeling okay. That's when the blacker eye seemed to twitch before he whispered "Some times good people have to go so the great people don't have to suffer because of them". Beyond confused, I replied "Uh, excuse me?" He then said "Time to go!" as he stood up, looked at me over his shoulder with a widening smile and exited the room. "What the fuck...Creepy bastard." I breathed as I collected my things and started to head out the door. When I got outside apparently not getting the right info from the rental agency, I walked towards a cab parked on the curb. "What the hell was that guy talking about?" I wondered before I turned around to look at the building once more. It was gone. "What the..." Suddenly I heard a loud crashing noise. It scared me enough that I jumped backwards, tripped and fell to the ground.  I saw specks of flashing lights and heard nothing but blaring sirens . It was like everything was right next to me but certainly they wouldn't be called because I tripped.. Then I heard a familiar voice that sounded like it was over top of me. "You're going to be okay. You're going to be okay! Please wake up!" The light was blinding and the noises made me cringe. I forced an eye open. Only one. As hard as I tried, the other one refused. Almost like it was sealed shut. "Oh my God! She's awake! Come here!!" It was my mother in law. "Don't move. Everything will be okay, he's meeting us at the hospital. I'm so glad you're alright! Don't move, I've got you." It was then I was lifted off of the ground and laid on  a stretcher or something. I wasn't able to really move my head but as she stood up from the ground and stood beside me, she was covered in blood and considering how well she was moving around and talking, I had an overwhelming feeling that it wasn't hers but instead... Mine. I heard mumbled talking as I was rolled into the van and a sudden bang when they closed the door. What the fuck was happening? I was already in a hospital today. An old building with faded gray bricks and a creepy fossil of a doctor who looked like he crawled out of a horror movie. Pain hit. Searing pain covered my entire body and out of nowhere, my mouth filled with the taste of blood. I turned my head as much as I could before I spit it out. It wasn't long after that I must've gone unconscious. I woke up to the steady sound of beeping. My body, though still in immense pain, felt chilled to the bone. I didn't know for sure but I assumed I was in a hospital again. I heard a door opening and closing. In my room possibly. "The light." I said before I even tried to open my one good eye. "Please turn down the light." I didn't hear a response but somehow knew that the request had been fulfilled. I peeked through a slight opening in my eye lid. I didn't see anyone. The single light bulb above my bed was a dull amber glow that left a wide cast shadow throughout most of the room. "Thank you.." I said as calmly and clearly as I could.  "Better for the blood" I heard from one side of the room. "Excuse me?" I said. "The cold. It's better for the blood. Lowers all sorts of risks that come with heat." It was then I heard the clicking of shoes before a nurse stepped out of the darkness. "Okay.." I answered as I struggled to keep her in clear view. "You had quite a morning. I would say you're extremely lucky to still be here. You've lost a lot of blood and by all accounts, death should be escorting you by now." Was I dreaming? Do you have to be a psychotic nut job to work in the health industry these days? "Where's my family?" I asked. "They're right outside darling! I'll send them in!" Her voice was different. At first she was jagged and as cold as the air around her... Now, she seemed to glow. Chipper with a hefty "can-do" attitude. Did they give me something? My mother in law, she has to be right outside. She also said he would meet us at the hospital so "he" means my husband. I just needed to see friendly and FAMILIAR faces even if it was with only one eye. I heard the door open again. Several pairs of feet shuffled in. "They're all here" I thought. My husband, his mom, our three kids. But when I opened my eyes, that's not who I saw. There was a man, a woman and three kids... But I had no idea who any of them were... The nurse came around the side of  my bed and propped me up while placing a pillow behind my head. "There you go deary, now you can see your beautiful family better!" I looked at her with the widest eye I could make to show her I was uncomfortable. But it didn't register. As soon as she fluffed it around my head she scooted past the strangers that surrounded my bed staring at me until she was out of the room. "I think there's been a mistake.." I choked out trying to ignore the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. "Oh no, everything is going exactly as it should." This came out of the tallest child who looked to be around 14 and it was a voice that didn't "fit" with the look.. "Where's my mother in law? She was with me before I came here, she's probably ready to come in so.. I think maybe you should all go." The woman standing near my head on the left laughed. "We're not going anywhere" she said. She closed her eyes for a few seconds and with them still closed she spoke again "Don't move... I've got you..." I could feel my heartbeat accelerate as the voice of my mother in law left the mouth of this psycho standing near me. It was her voice exactly. What is happening.... "It's okay babe." The man said as he reached out a hand to touch my face. "Don't call me that! Who the fuck ARE you?!? You're not my husband! Get the fuck OUT of here! ALL OF YOU! NOW! I'll call the police!" He withdrew his arm and looked at the three kids before locking eyes with the lady standing across from him. They started laughing. It was a variety at first that merged in to one deep, writhing laugh. I gripped the blankets and shut my eye as tight as I could. Then I felt someone grab my right wrist, squeezing it fiercely. I opened my eyes, both eyes and I was no longer in a hospital. I was in an alley. It was dark and cold, the pain was gone except for my wrist. My wrist that was being held by something dark and huge. "Didn't like that did you..." It's head turned in my direction and all I could make out were two glowing amber rimmed eyes the size of baseballs. "It's not the same for everyone... But, when everyone you know wants you dead, some times the results aren't always pretty." Wants me dead? I had to be dreaming. I had to be tripping on whatever pain medicine that they injected me with at the damn hospital. HAD TO. I closed my eyes and tried to rip my arm out of the things grip. "You won't like it.. they'll kill you. All of them want to..." "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME GOOOOOO!" I screamed while thrashing my entire body around. I guess I thought that if I made a big enough scene that SOMEONE would be able to help  me. When I opened my eyes, I saw his face even closer now. The amber in his eyes was darker. "Suit yourself." He whispered before he threw me backwards sending me into trash bins and broken glass. I knocked my head on a brick and the world began to fade.. Again.. I woke up  to beeping. Immediately I shot up and panicked as my eyes frantically darted around the room. The beeps got faster until I felt like my heart was going to burst. "She's up! Get the doctor!" I heard from the hall. Within seconds my room filled with all sorts of faces and uniforms. A male nurse unscrewed my IV and inserted something to calm my nerves I assumed. I was crying and thrashing yelling "NO!!!" until he finished. When everything settled and most of the staff had left, I realized they weren't monsters and I wasn't in some ratty shit-hole room. It was actually nice and so were they. I'd never felt more confused and scared in my life. "How are you feeling?" asked the doctor with a smile. "I uh.. I'm.." I stuttered and then realized I couldn't say everything. All that would do is get me a date with the psych ward. It must've been a dream... All of it? Why am I here then? "I'm sorry, why am I here..?" I asked. "You were calling for a taxi and you tripped on the sidewalk. The cabby said it looked like you knocked your noggin on some of the bricks around the tree in that area. You were unconscious and we just wanted to be sure you're okay. We found your husbands name and number in your phone and gave him a call. He's right outside and eager to see you. Do you feel up for that?" "YES! Please! Yes, of course!" I said . "Calm down, I'll get him. It's best to breathe and not get all riled up." He said as he patted my hand. "I'll send him in." I looked at my body, my arms, hands. No blood... no marks.. My husband, my REAL husband came into the room and ran to my side. "I'm so glad you're okay! I was so scared." He pulled up a chair and I asked him to not leave my side no matter what. He agreed. I started telling him about everything. What I assumed to be dreams. His face eventually shifted slightly when I repeated what the night demon thing had said. "That's enough" he said. "It was all a dream and you're fine. In fact, there are some other people who want to see you, is that okay?" "I mean.. I guess.." I said, a little unsure. "I'll be right back." He said before he left. When the door closed, the TV in the left corner of the room turned on making me jump. It was a hospital room with what looked like a doll sitting on the bed. A doll that happened to look a lot like me.. The door to the TV room opened and people flooded in. Everyone in there crowded the bed and I faintly heard the words "You'll all get a turn!" before all of a sudden, every person in the room took out knives and needles and started stabbing the doll. Hysteric laughter blared from the screen before it suddenly stopped. Everyone in that room slowly turned around towards the camera smiling. It looked like they knew I was watching and they were happy about it. There, standing on the TV were my family.. my friends.. neighbors.. faces from stores.. "They'll kill you.. All of them want to.." I ripped the IV out of my arm after the television turned itself off. My legs felt like Jello as I gripped the wall trying my best to walk to the door. I finally made it , opened the door and staggered into the hallway. I looked to the right and down a long corridor I could see a set of double doors rimmed with light, outside. I took a step and looked over my shoulder. The entire mob from the television, the people I knew and loved were there staring at me... smiling at me.. Each holding some form of jagged blade or needle. My chest heaved as I turned back towards the doors. I bolted. It felt like I ran forever when I finally pushed the opening bar on the door but just as the sun touched my face, something pulled me backwards. I tried so hard to push myself forward but it was no use. The doors got smaller and farther away. The light disappeared almost entirely. I was in the cold and dark surrounded by insane laughing. I closed my eyes that filled with hot tears and lay there as my body was stabbed and sliced.  

It's never nice when you have a dream about death. Especially when it's YOUR OWN! Now, I didn't actually wake up knowing I died. Likely..? Sure, but not necessarily definite. Maybe it's not good to write down every dream lol. My only comfort is knowing that people like Stephen King did the same thing and he seems to be doing JUST FINE. :) Though it was a bit of a mind shaker, I hope you were able to see (or at least almost see) what I dreamed of... Maybe it's not so bad to wake up and pee every now and then... That being said, I hope all of you have a great rest of your Sunday and of course... Sweet dreams...

-Super Mom

Why can't I F-ING sleep?

For years I've been someone who dreams rather vividly at times. It doesn't matter if the dream is good... bad.. weird.. sad.. More times than not I am very much a part of what is happening even if I'm not IN it. Lately I've been having weird sleeping interruptions. I go to bed at 12am, wake up at 3 to pee and lie there for 40 minutes trying to find the right position, temperature, breathing rate.. It hasn't helped that I've had some sad and scary dreams within the few hours I am able to keep myself asleep. "Don't eat after 8pm" I've heard... Tried that, don't buy it. "Never watch creepy things before bed" To be completely honest, I swear I sleep BETTER after watching some kind of psychotic creep show or horror movie. Maybe that satisfies the inner mental person, I don't know. "Go to bed early" Well... here's the problem with THAT logic. My days are filled with random work tasks, getting ready for my kids to go back to school, getting my toddler ready to one day GO to school and everything else. By the time "bed time" swings around (finally) that is what I call my "ME TIME". Where I can take a bath.. read a book... watch a show NOT produced by Disney.. play a video game.. NOT answer 17,000 questions.... It's MOM time. I think I try to get the most out of it which causes me to get less sleep which eventually screws with the sleep I do get... But you would think if I'm going to bed late and having to wake up early, I'd be EXHAUSTED by the end of the day and eventually just crash... Right? Some times I make myself go to bed earlier. Not very often but still.. On those nights though I usually get the weird stream of dreams or the need to wake up for the bathroom or a drink. Never at the same time of course. Last night I had a sad a dream and after waking up, found out it wasn't that far off. That has messed with my mind a little bit all day. I've tried to distract myself by doing things with my kids and even doing some Halloween stuff which helped but I'm now left kind of blah.. And here it is.. soon to be bed time.. Will I go to sleep? Nope. Why? I don't want to fall into a messed up sequence. I really wish I could bring myself to sit my fucking ass at this screen like I've set out to do so many times and put it all in here.. The goings on of the day.. dreams.. nightmares.. chaos.. happiness... My life. Another thing I think about during my me time that doesn't help me fall fast asleep. I just needed a moment to get blurb out of my head and onto this page. So many great ideas.. Why the hell can't I just do them all.. Have a good night everyone. I will sit down with my first bit of caffeine today and chill I think. (I know... "No wonder you can't sleep....") I hope you all do the same. Until next time.

-Super Mom

What are you afraid of?

I wonder about this question all the time when I people watch. It could be in the middle of a busy store... Or watching a random runner jog by at the park.. I know that everyone is afraid of something. Even if you say you're not... in one way or another.. You know you are. It could be the dark that frightens you. But I go beyond that. "The Dark" is so vague and full of possibilities dealing with frightening things but.. what is it exactly about the dark.. The fact that your vision is skewed? The thought of something standing there watching you just out of sight? Maybe it's the noises  IN the dark... The rustle of dead leaves.. Branches crunching steps behind you.. The growl of an animal you know isn't yours maybe? Maybe some people just need light. Almost like the logic switch in their brain turns off when the sun goes down. I love the dark. The quiet that usually accompanies it. Sure, off putting noises make eye brows raise some times... But that adds to the mystery. Seeing things.. if you're lucky (or in some cases, not so lucky) your mind pairs with your eyes and plays tricks. I don't find it particularly scary but.. I can see how it would be for some. There's an absolute comfort in the night for me. The moon is a well earned token after a long day... The air is calm and cool.. The world puts parts of itself to sleep while other parts roam free.. It's crazy to think how different people can be. I know of people who wouldn't even dream of stepping outside after nightfall. They could be reading this and thinking I'M crazy right now while others feel the truth in every word. Some people hide fear so well. It honestly fascinates me. The world has become SO fearful these  days.. I remember when the big fears were things like: the dark, tight spaces, water, clowns, heights, death... Nowadays.. damn near EVERYTHING has an official "phobia" linked to it.. For example... Sidonglobophobia. Sounds crazy right? It's the fear of cotton balls...  Or this.. Fear of long words. Wanna know what THAT phobia is? Take a breath... Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia. Okay, that WORD is somewhat terrifying because... DAMN. But the fear? Really? I know that fears can come from problems in life too, not just things both real and.. well, like that last one. I understand people having those kinds of fears. Guy loses his job, possibility of losing his house.. That's scary shit. But being afraid of say... CHINS?!? (Geniphobia by the way, yes, sadly.. it's real..) Come on people... What the hell makes people afraid of a chin? Maybe they had John Travolta in mind.. maybe that's just too much? I can get not loving them but seriously. See, I think of things like that and then think.. If this chick is afraid of a chin, should she also be afraid of the dark? There could be a Jay Leno knock off lurking behind the bushes at night just waiting for her..  I don't know..  How do you know when your deep thoughts turn into real fears? Is it after thinking the same thing for so long? To be afraid... I guess life wouldn't be quite the same if we weren't afraid of some things.. Pleasantville was boring before color.. Just like this world would be without fear.. I may come back to this one.. The thought of it does intrigue me so... Have a great night everyone.. Going to check out the moon.. You know, in the dark... ;)

-SuperMom

Yeah, bitch. (1)

Lately I've been getting lost in life. I work to be ten steps ahead only to reach five of those before I  fall back to two steps behind. This year was going to be the year of positive change. I started so over the top convinced that I could make so many things happen for myself that by the time the year ended, I could sit back, exhale and say "Yeah bitch... You did it." Like this blog. On December 31st, I was DETERMINED to sit my ass here at this screen EVERY DAY even if just for a few minutes to write about my day. That's it! Nothing crazy, nothing hard and I'm HERE ANYWAY! And still.... nope. The diet. SO revved up about that. Ready to close the chapter and blow people away and shut them the hell up. Yeah... Lasted ABOUT four months and then... poof. I had a system with so many extensions... Then they started to disappear. To disintegrate into nothing. Then I reverted back to bad habits and became pissed at myself for dropping the ball. Had I stuck with it, my GOD what a difference I would see.. Then thinking like THAT makes me feel horrible. Jobs.. That's a weird one too if I do say so myself... I still do my photography when I have the time and sitter and I've even taken on the role of being a virtual assistant. Yeah. We'll save that story for some other time.. Where I live.. It's like a fucking high school and if it were up to me, the prom queen wannabe would just choke and disappear already. (That will also have to wait.. lol interesting and irritating as fuck all at the same time..) Yeah.. people are ridiculous. The school year is almost over, it's already hot as Hell outside, it's almost time to see my family and in-laws. I really wish I could have a selection of filters to use in the real world. Just a quick screen to step into to make everything seem picture perfect. Sadly though, it's not a possible thing. (YET). Aye, aye, aye.. I know, "SO MANY PROBLEMS!"
I really want the summer to just fucking fly. Bring on the fall! Dead leaves, Halloween, cool breezes, pumpkin everything...  But no.. For the next two weeks, I'm going to be.. enslaved. The last chance to buckle down in hopes of shutting down any bad thoughts or vibes others want to cast in my direction. I don't need luck. I don't need a miracle. I just need to focus on being the one to say "Yeah bitch... You did it." We'll start with the next two weeks and by the end of the year, I'm determined to have a "YEAH BITCH!" party.. Also, another time... ;)    Thanks for soaking up the madness that is this puddle of problems. LOVE YA!

-SuperMom

A dream is only as real as you make it...

Some time ago on here I wrote a post about having a dream that involved my grandfather. He passed away from cancer when I was right around 15ish. In my dream at the time, he didn't speak but smiled at me. It's fuzzy now and honestly I'd have to re-read the post to get it right I'm sure. Last nights dream however... is very clear right now.

     I was reading through an email on a park bench. I was the only one on the bench and the one across from me was empty completely. As I scrolled through this email, I started to cry. It was more than just a rejection notice from the literary agency I had submitted to, it was a horrifying break down. The gist of it was that there was no way a highly rated firm was going to pick up and carry a piece of no talent trash like me that peddled out meaningless notes that are far from worthy to be printed in an actual book. (Rough right?!? Assholes...) I cried and when the email was read fully I reeled my arm back and chucked my phone over the bench across from me where there was now an old man sitting. Thankfully, it whizzed past him. "Oh my God! I am so sorry! I didn't think anyone was there, I was really into my message, I am so, so sorry." The old man smiled at me and said "Not a problem, no harm done." His voice was so familiar... He didn't have a phone but instead picked up a newspaper and held it in front of his face to read. On the back, where I could see, were the obituaries. And three names over with his picture and all... My grandpas name. Without moving the newspaper out of the way, he spoke again and I couldn't help but stare, frozen. "Some times things seem bigger than they are. Some times we just need to step back and realize that a dream is only as real as you make it. If it were easy to do, it wouldn't be called a dream, but instead a routine. You're bigger than a routine my dear. I know you believe in things and even fewer people. But never forget, the one you have to believe in the most... is you sweetheart. Just because a door slams in your face, doesn't mean it's gone. It means you power through it again or find another door."
          More tears continued to fall as I heard my grandfathers voice tell me all of those very true things. It was almost like he was hiding in plain sight and needed to tell me that as I was getting a door slammed in my face. As if not to "out" him, I sniffled and said "Thank you for all of that. If my grandpa was here next to me, I feel like he'd tell me the same things. Thank you, sir." With that, the old man folded up the paper, stood up, smiled at me while tipping his hat and then walked away. I sat there wishing I could've hugged that man. But he was gone. I stayed on the bench watching the sun set before I woke up.
    Waking up from that, it was hard. Hard to know that I couldn't call him up and tell him about it and even hard to repeat yet again, that it was all true. I can't let obstacles stop me from what I want to do. If one route gets completely blocked, I either bulldoze my way through or find a better way. It seems shorter written down but oh so vivid in my mind.. I wish I could hug him.. It's crazy that that was more than half my life ago.. Crazy stuff. Have a great Wednesday guys. Sorry it's not longer but I had to share it before it was gone. :)

-SuperMom

So "Momager" is a thing and I'm one of them...

While roaming around the house, gathering the remains of dinner, I found myself thinking of tiny little things... Things that had nothing to do with.. ME. The first thought was 'I'm so glad I got him coffee before he ran out' and the next was 'I have to schedule Bailey's well child visit' and so on.. By the time I got to cleaning the microwave (you know that thing you don't like to do especially if it wasn't YOUR can of exploding red ravioli sauce that MADE the mess..) I thought 'Holy shit... I'm the manager of this whole freaking place. If I died today, my family would be screwed without me! I am a legit momager!' As my little scrubber made the same repetitive circles, my mind drifted off to what all I ACTUALLY do around this joint and all the people I serve all day.. every day.. every week.. week after week.. I have a husband who works 11 hour days 4 days a week.. on third shift.. I have a 3 year old.. a 9 year old.. and a 12 year old.. All girls.. What I do for my husband on an average day.. a working day I should say... Quiet control (did I say I had a 3 year old.. yeah... fun stuff..) so he can sleep through the day, making sure he's always stocked with shampoo, toilet paper, shaving cream, razors, cologne, glasses wipes, chips, water and anything extra. Dinner time is when he gets up before he goes to work.. The 12 year old... Making sure she's on track at school while dealing with middle school drama, hormone control (or lack there of), fun monthly chats, chores, homework, did I say puberty? Yup.. Then there's the 9 year old.. She's the sleepwalker from previous posts (go read!) and she's a wannabe slick and smooth little criminal with handfuls of drama and possibly a touch of hypochondriac... She will be the one that keeps me on my mom game.. Always straddling the line. No.. Standing on the line while holding her leg over the bad side of the line... Anyway, she wants to act like the 12 year old while the 12 year old wants to believe she's an adult.. Attitude? There's PLENTY to go around here... The 3 year old just became obsessed with Barbies. I mean it... obsessed. As in Mom (me..) had to play for TWO HOURS today! When we're not doing THAT... It's trying to get in sync with counting, writing and the damn alphabet she does not like... Grrr... She'll recite a book back to me and we can read for hours but seriously, trying to get her to sing the ABC's... I get to H and she goes "that's enough.." Really kid? So playing school teacher and barbies AND doing the daily house garbage... Yup. There are things I don't like to do of course but, in order to stay sane, I do them.. Mopping floors is one that drives me crazy. Dishes of course but that is one thing that landed on the kids' chore charts (NOT by accident..) and then there's.. laundry. One day (while sorting laundry) I was stupid enough to come up with laundry math.. Let me warn you, IT SUCKS! I do my laundry once a week. There are some occasions where I stretch that to 10 days even.. I wash and dry then sort through everyone's crap and the older girls take care of their own, the youngest "helps" (on a good day..) and I take care of mine and my husbands.. Let's use the 10 days for this fun math I'm about to ruin you with... I have a family of five... So in 10 days assuming my family each wears ONE outfit a day (which is usually NOT the case!), I should expect 50 shirts, 50 pants, 100 socks and 50 pairs of underwear... Socks included, that's 250 articles of clothing! I mean... DAMN! It's enough to make you want to just say "NOPE! I'm DONE!" Washing the clothes isn't the irritating part to me thankfully. It's the putting away that's annoying as shit. This goes here, that goes there, this gets ironed, this gets hung, this drawer, that drawer... GROSS. It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't things too which sucks. I'm sure my husband would put them away no problem... But uh.. WHERE he would put them.. that's the thing that would probably bug me. I'd have to be the one standing there saying "In that drawer, hang, fold.." and if I'm going to be there doing THAT, I might as well DO IT and get it done a hell of a lot faster. It's just like putting the dishes in the dishwasher... I swear they just throw them in leaving random spaces and gaps all over just to mess with me. Tetris people! Fit them in!!! It's just crazy to realize how much I keep things.. GOING. I can't remember the last time I asked anyone in my house where something is... On the other hand, just yesterday I myself was asked the following things.. "Have you seen my notebook?" and "Where's the thing you use with the play doh?" (right... the thing...) and even "Did you move my other shoe somewhere?" What? You know, yes, yes I moved your left shoe but left your right one so we could make getting ready to leave on time a game... NOOOOOOOO.... I have to be aware, alert and conscientious about everybody's everything all the time... The momager... Not just some Hollywood spun name for reality quacks who produce fame whores. It's an actual thing. It covers ALL the bases I guess... It's the umbrella over the actual multitude of occupations I have in my home. Driver, cook, maid, teacher, counselor, lawyer, planner, accountant, librarian, historian, decorator, baker, photographer, hazmat crew, garbage collector, mediator, doctor, author, mechanic, officer, host, warden... Good God... I'm sure there's more.. We get ripped off a little bit don't we? There are no sick days to cash in.. vacation days? What the hell is that? No complaint box mounted on the wall... Yet. Hmm... That may be a project actually... Mom's complaint box... It can be locked with the little slot and everything... Through the week I drop in my complaints and then unlock the bastard box on Sundays and go through my torrid weekly gripes.. Oh my... It was a joke but now... Hmmm.... PROJECT! All of these thoughts in here just kinda hit me on an off day where it seemed like everyone was having their OWN off days and for some reason it's always up to ME to make everyone all chipper and perky while I'm thinking "Leave. Me. Aloooooooonnnnnnneeeeee!" on the inside.. No one else in this joint can do the job. Not even super dad. Could you imagine your husband or boyfriend doing everything you do? Probably not and do you know why? Because you'd be hovering making sure they're doing everything RIGHT. I would be anyway... Yet another damned if you do... AND if you don't... What a pile of..... Well, I guess my steam has dissipated somewhat thankfully. Thanks for hanging in there! Have a great Tuesday creeps. And I mean that in the best way. :)

-SuperMom

Silly, silly feelings..

When you're alone with thoughts of different things and you just happened to have a computer nearby... Things tend to happen.. Sometimes they're wonderful things.. and sometimes.. They're like THIS.. Oh feelings.. Silly, silly feelings... 

I'm not a freaking backup, I'm not some little baby doll...

Not someone you want to mess around with. no, not AT ALL...

I can help you fix your problems unless they always stay the same...

If you don't ever change it, then honey you're the one to blame...

I bet this comes off harsh, not harsh it's truth,  this ain't a game...

Remember when I tell you this, this girl won't fall for shit, remember here's the name.

K like in Kinda kicks a lot of ass, if you get in my face yours will be pushed down in the grass

A like an angel that crawled straight up right outta hell, who probably knows more than you would ever tell

R like a raging ranting hurricane.. Not giving any fucks cuz she knows they're all insane

A like amazing, truly an amazing find, amazing as a psycho bitch who can also be quite kind

K-A-R-A

Say the letters every single fucking day

K-A-R-A

Not everyone can be made this way

K-A-R-A

I don't really care what you will say

K-A-R-A

That's the end now GO AWAY!

GOOD NIGHT.

-Super Mom

Why, oh why can't there be a...

Why can there not be a cheat code in life to help us get what we want? There isn't a game you can play that you can't rig in your favor at least 75% of the time... Remember playing the Sims? You hit Ctrl+Shift+C... type in MOTHERLODE then BAM! $50,000... just like that! Or Willy Wonka with his reach into the TV and pull out a candy bar... How cool would it be to see a commercial on TV for SOME kind of food and all you have to do is say "Why yes, I will take that over cooking!". Then just reach right in there and GRAB IT. Done. That my friends, would be pretty fucking amazing. Do you know what I want? I want to write. I want to take this collection and many more obscure, funny, not so funny, horrific, sad, HELL YEAH! stories and mash them together into a book with the doodles in there as well.. For the first time, I am starting to take steps to make that happen... I'm sure it will take many, MANY steps after plenty of fall downs..But you have to start somewhere... A few days ago, I decided I was going to start BIG. Why not shoot for the moon? I sent in a "query" to a literary agency in New York.. This is an attempt to possibly one day acquire an agent of my own. Because not every ass-wad can stroll into any big name known publishing house, the agent is the middle man who makes that possible connection.. possible. To start, I had to send in a paragraph describing myself and what I like to write about... That's it. No examples of workings.. no websites... Just describing myself. I had to write that and pick ONE agent out of a handful of agents to send it to. Should that agent see it and become intrigued with ME, he will then reach out to me to actually see some of my writings or manuscripts.. Should he then like THOSE as well... A contract is signed between myself and MY agent. He then would proceed to disperse my manuscript to the publishing houses and when one of them (or more) decides they want it, I make the choice and BAM! Author... Rewinding to what will probably be the way it actually goes... The agent will sift through my submission along with thousands of others and find he's not at all intrigued with the ME part.. in which case, 30 days will drift by without any words at all before I can start over again. I've been told to go the self publishing route and even e-book it on Amazon.. "People around the world could buy it!" Though that may be true.. Amazon has what.. 7 BILLION e-books on there... It would be nice to be able to be out there enough to where people aside my mom and best friend would support me and buy it. It sounds weird and it will be more than a frustrating process... I also haven't breathed a word of this to my husband. I'd rather hit him with some CRAZY fantastic news some day instead of lingering "what ifs..." So if you know me and you see him.. ZIP IT! ;) If only MOTHERLODE worked in real life... If only... It's not easy to follow your dreams when they're being hauled off on a bullet train... It's not impossible either though... I'll keep you posted... Smile guys... It's only Monday...

-Super Mom

Yesterday was my birthday guys!!!

Some times... Some times I wish that I could take my problems and actually pack them into a pickle jar. That includes people. Yeah... I could shrink whatever it was in my life that was irritating me, close it up in a jar and set it up on a shelf until I felt like it was time to release it back into the world. It could even have a tiny little air hole. I mean I'm not a COMPLETE monster... Where is this coming from? What pissed me off enough to start this post with the wish of being able to put people and things into jars? Let me start by telling you that yesterday was my birthday...
To be honest, I'm glad the week is over. The highlight? Getting my tattoo with my best friend by my side while talking shit and laughing. It was a gift to myself. Something I had wanted for a while that really meant something to me. (Take your two seconds to scoff or judge if you must, I don't give a fuck. It's MY body so... yeah....Are you good? Okay!) That was great. We even got to witness an idiot kid (maybe 17..?) freak out over getting his first tattoo done at the same time. Though he didn't cry or pass out like we were hoping for.. It was still fun to watch and listen to. Later in the day, I was taken to dinner, given a few gifts and even was surprised with a bad ass killer cake (in the photo...) along with a drink or two. It was all fun and good. The only off part was right before I entered my house. My friend who lives across the street let me know that the frat boy wannabe of the neighborhood had some things to say and even though we haven't spoken to him in months (MONTHS) it involved ME. What drives me crazy about where I live... It reminds me of Wisteria Lane mixed with High School.. with a dash of.. Jerry Springer? maybe that's not accurate all the time but still. Basically, everyone has eyes on people and assume to know things that frankly... they don't. At first, this place seemed quiet and quaint... Everyone helps everyone and they're all so friendly. Then I actually started to size people up myself. You know, like they were (and are..) doing to me. It's not crazy that I don't want to be the super host to neighborhood gatherings. Why would I? To me, a good percentage of the people will smile in your face and start talking shit before they leave your driveway. Why in the HELL would I want to waste my time entertaining people like that? Oh yeah... I wouldn't... There are a few decents thankfully but still.. Look, I didn't put up with that trash while I was IN high school... and I sure as fuck am not going to deal with it now. I'm fine with being the outcast. If it means I don't have to sift through peoples bullshit, so be it. It sucks that it came out when it did after such a fun day and that it has turned me off from even the thought of neighborly junk for a while. I can only imagine the other THINGS that come up when I drive by or check my mail. Hopefully I can just keep my reputation of being an obnoxious bitch to keep me from listening to any more of the trivial crap some people have to spout. This chick has no interest in trying to win everyone's vote for prom queen. Sorry. NOT SORRY! The positive notes though because of course there are some.. I spent my birthday eating cake, hitting a few stores with my girls and taking them to check out some boat docks and fishing spots for some future casting. Add that with my Facebook and Twitter pile up of Happy Birthdays! and Love you's! and it ended up being an okay day. My husband had to work that night but we were able to celebrate early thankfully. (And remember the ring... Good birthday that just happened to be noticed for more than just the one day..) Another cool note was the fact that my gamer guys (3 guys I've played video games with for like... 7ish years now..) also wished me Happy Birthday and played games as long as I wanted. It was fun and I laughed my ass off which was an amazing way to close it out. Aside from today being April fools day, it was also Easter. No.. I didn't attend any services or public egg hunts... My kids had their own here and got to partake in the finding of goody boxes. (I don't really like the whole basket thing... they're usually ugly or get broken quickly... I'd rather buy something they will use in their rooms and cram it full of goodies. You know what? They loved it. #MomHacks) We painted flower pots and planted flowers as well as running outside, playing with bubbles, more painting, games, etc. It's been a great and beautiful day. Today was the first day in a few that I've been blissful the entire day. :) I hope all of you had a great day as well. Happy Easter... and better yet... HAPPY WALKING DEAD DAY!!! (Oh yeah baby, it's on tonight... 9pm. WATCH IT!) I guess that is all for now. Have a good evening!

-SuperMom

Bad dream you say...

I've been editing and sorting wedding photos for a few hours today and honestly, my eyes need a break. Since I'm here anyway, I'm going to let you in on yet another creepy ass dream I had last night between wake ups... You're welcome... Here we go..

    I had put my kids in bed hours after my husband left for third shift. I picked up dinner stuff, put up the little bits of this and that scattered around from the day and even sat down and played a few games in the silence of my ME time. The house was quiet as I put my controller away and started turning lights off. TOO quiet for me.. I shook my head before I had the chance to psych myself out. By that time I was TIRED. I got in a warm shower, got out, got dressed and pranced over to the bed where only the bedside lamp was the source of any light. I hit the remote so the fan would turn on the lowest setting, snuggled right in to my big plush comforter and adjusted all three of MY pillows. My own little nest... Once I was completely comfortable, I reached for the light and turned it off. It didn't take long for me to be pulled into dreamland. I woke up to a faint chimey like music.. I sat up thinking it MUST be in my head... It didn't stop. I looked at my phone.. Black screen, no music. It was getting a little louder before it hit a constant sound and then it was gone. I got up and went to the window. Surely I must've been imagining that. I looked at the clock. It was 2:39 AM. It sounded like an innocent ice cream type chime but come on..". it was 2:39 AM! I pulled the corner of the curtain back just far enough to where I could peek out into the darkness. The only streetlight near my house had burnt out two days earlier, figures. I strained my eyes to make out SOMETHING that could've made the noise. It couldn't have left.. it sounded so close before it just stopped. As my eyes scanned the blackness of the night, they stopped towards my mailbox. Parked at the edge of the road, right near my mailbox was what looked like...an ice cream truck. What the... I could feel my heart start to beat faster.. I slowly backed away from the curtain and attempted to quickly find my phone without turning on the light. Why would it be there? Why right THEN? I tried taking deep breaths as I dialed my husband. (I know right, my husband before 911? Idiot... But, dreams... ) After seven long rings, the voicemail picked up. DAMN IT! I tried once again. Seven rings.. voicemail. By now the deep breaths weren't even trying to happen. The doors are locked.. The doorbell has a camera. The camera! It can see things at night! I pull up the app so I can access the camera from my phone. Connecting... connecting... Black? I hit the speaker button to see if I can hear anything since there must be something wrong with the video. As soon as I do.. I hear something. Something breathing. RIGHT NEXT TO THE CAMERA! Something was out on my porch? What?!? As I took one step still watching the black screen, suddenly a face backed away from the camera and came into focus. It was like the blackness was the pupil of it's eye. I could only make out part of the face. The body was cloaked in black that matched the rest of the night. "I thought you'd never wake up. I have something for you." It was the deepest voice I had ever heard outside of a movie and it was talking to ME! I gasped, stepped back and dropped my phone. "Uh uh uh... No noises.." I heard my face down phone say.. All of a sudden, my ringtone blasts at top volume. My husband is calling! I try to answer to get it to stop but the screen is stuck on the camera. The thing on my porch with it's black eyes and large mouth starts to smile and it's body, what I could make out anyway, starts to twitch and sway. "I'm going to need you to open the door now..." The voice was a different pitch all together.. I tried desperately to close the camera so I could call the police and stop my husband from calling but it was stuck. I couldn't even restart it. Meanwhile, the ringtone blares as my husband (who is now probably worried as hell) continues to call to see what's going on and the whole time, the thing on the porch changes its voice telling me to open the door... it has something for me. Then my daughter starts to cry for me. Everything got quiet. The thing on my phone stopped moving it's body and started to bring it's face closer to the camera again. "Open this door." I tried to sneak past the front door to get to her and as I approached it I heard the thing on the other side of it.. "Open this door, open this door... Or children, your children you will have no more." It was loud and repeated again and again and again. I went to my husbands safe and pulled out a pistol. I loaded it and went back to the front door. The rhyme went again and again. Tears of anger and pure fear ran down my face as I held the gun up to the paneled door.. Then it stopped. I waited and listened.. Nothing.. Then I heard the chime music again. Breathing heavier than ever, I ran to my window to peek to see what I hoped would be the truck driving away. It was gone. I scanned hard to make sure. My face was close to the glass when out of nowhere BAM! The thing was right there, face to face with me. Separated only by a panel of glass. "You'll never sleep again..." It smiled bigger and bigger until it's skin started to rip apart from it's mouth.

AND THEN I WOKE UP!

It was really weird... and a little bit creepy... Do I check my camera at night? Sometimes.. Did I after that dream? HELL NO! I did look out the window briefly and thank GOD the streetlight was actually ON! I believe there's something wrong with me.. Now that that's out of the way... Good night! And sweet dreams everyone!!!!

-SuperMom

Did you ever wonder...

I really wish I could do things better than I do... Everything I seem to take on (AND THAT'S A LOT) has some kind of restriction. I swear, at times I have the attention span and patience of a gnat.. It's not good. Like this.. Had I sat down EVERY DAY and dedicated even 15 minutes to writing this blog, I would have HUNDREDS of posts by now and drawings to accompany them. I would have enough to transfer to a book.. Instead, I let my weak and restless times either take over or I get another great idea that I HAVE to do before coming back to this one.. It's exhausting BEING me some times.. I can't imagine what it must be like for the ones around me. Like my husband.. It's about to be my birthday in a few days.. This year, without me saying anything, he got me a gift. It was something I had talked about years ago and have wanted for some time. In fact, when it got in, he was so excited, he wanted me to open it early. Two weeks early. It was a Mother's ring with our daughters birthstones on it... Really? Not a word or hint from this girls mouth and BAM! See, because I used to be this crazy and selfish shopaholic who's turned her shit and outlook around, I don't really DO that much for ME these days. Not only do I not really shop anymore, I've also come a LONG way as far being patient.. Seriously, I am THE most impatient person probably in the world so for ME to say that.. It's BIG. I would've been fine with waiting to open his gift but he wasn't having it. I think he realizes the big changes and wants to spoil me a little bit for my birthday... I'm going to get another tattoo in two days... It's a good one. What's the saying? Good things come.. something, something, blah, blah, blah... Yeah. Never believed it and yet, here I am.. I really wish I could have the "What women want" power to hear his thoughts about me.. Screw it, I would like that gift so I could hear EVERYONE'S thoughts about me... Terrifying... Or as my best friend conjured up... Karafying! (That WILL be on a shirt one day, I promise. I may be the only one in the world wearing said shirt but still....) I'm fairly certain I have a good idea already of what runs through peoples mind but it would still be fun. Imagine the depths of the could be conversations... To say their thought seconds before they do... Good or bad.. The looks I would get... It would be interesting.. And because I'm not all kittens, sugar and sunshine... I KNOW there would be some negative vibes at times. Which is crazy when you think about it because I know some people who find (at least they've said..) to find the lack of those qualities mixed with my actual ones to be quite refreshing and rare. We get one life. I spent a good chunk of that living for other people...In the end, not worth it. If I can live making someone else happy while I'm not entirely happy... Well that's just not living. So I adjusted. I live for me. Of course there are extensions of me that are covered in there, my kids.. my husband.. But anything that could be a regret or anything in my life these days, is because of ME and MY choices. Like that tattoo I talked about... It's definitely not my first.. or my second... OR my sixth... But they're mine just like the new one will be... My dad still gives me crap about them. "Defacing" he says.. Yeah, yeah.... "A lot of people regret getting them later when they're old..." Do you know what I'll think of when I look at them when I'm older? That I went through life with my own thoughts and actions. I will see the decisions that I myself made once upon a time. There isn't one of them that doesn't mean something to me. I guess I can see where tattooing the KFC colonels face on your ass may turn into a regret later down the road... But that's not the case for me. Anyway. He doesn't hate them enough to let it affect our relationship thankfully. He knows, understands and accepts that I'm a stubborn, bull headed psycho probably like the rest of the people in my life.. A jagged little puzzle piece that doesn't really fit and at the same time, fits in perfectly most of the time... It's a crazy thing. My kids are now asking me (repeatedly) to play Monopoly, so I guess this is the wrap up point for now. What do you think people think when they're around YOU? It really makes you wonder if you just stop and really think for a minute. On that note, you should never really CARE, but you know... Still would be interesting. ;) Happy Tuesday!

-SuperMom

Back again...

I won't even try to explain my absence. Life. That's all I can say without writing a book... Life... And as I sit at this screen typing this here and now while one of the worst headaches I've ever had tries to pierce through my skull.. That's all I can think about.. Life and a dream I had about it.. How I live.. How I've lived.. Things I've changed in order to be able to be a better version of myself. More responsible.. More capable.. More reliable.. Then I think of others in my life. In every aspect.. Friends... Family.. Some who will always view me differently.. Some who not only never let me crumble, but also never changed how they've viewed me. There are ones who support me, constantly. And ones who only reach out when they need things from me. I've discouraged people while I've inspired others.. I've become a liability where others find me even more valuable.. It's a crazy tilt a whirl.. Life. The worst part, is that I still feel like at times there is a heavy hammer over my head just waiting to fall and break me. It's like even though I try so hard, other people I know can be however they want and I can't say anything about their imperfection ways because I have no judgement platform to stand on. If anything, I'm standing in a hole looking up. Inching my way toward the surface but not yet out. Dreams.. Instead of babbling, I'll paint a picture for you of what my dream was, as close as I can that is... and maybe you'll grasp my babbling a little bit better..
     I was walking down a sidewalk as the sun was setting. I was by myself listening to a song that I love. Ironically enough, I had listened to it repeatedly when life was at it's hardest point and I would cry listening to the words before I hit repeat. Now that those times are gone.. I blare it and sing along because now that I have a different perspective, it too has a different flow.. Anyway.. walking alone.. I was proud of myself for accomplishing something even though it was small in comparison to other things and suddenly, something hard and sharp hit my shoulder. I grabbed my shoulder and pulled a bloody hand away from the cut that now resided in my skin when I saw a sharp, pebble filled, jagged rock in front of me. Etched in the side of this pointy piece were the words "Not good enough". As I stood there with my shoulder stinging trying to figure out what I was looking at, another rock flew into the middle of my back with enough force to knock me down to my knees. The second rock had words too. "Because of you." With tears rolling down my cheeks, I stood up and turned around to see where they were coming from when I noticed a tall dark figure standing on a balcony of house that had appeared to be made entirely of glass. The glass glowed red against the sun and the silhouette of the creature on the balcony looked like a rigid monster. As I stared and cried, the thing bent down, picked something up and hurled it right at me. Another rock. I jumped out of the way before it could pierce my face. The rock said "Failure". I picked up all three rocks and felt fueled by pain and rage and all I wanted with every ounce of my being was to hurl the rocks back in its direction and smash the glass kingdom to pieces. Even though I wanted to... I didn't. I didn't believe the writings on the rocks but I knew that even though it stood in a glass house throwing stones... I lacked the right to throw them back. Instead I dropped them. The thing picked up another piece probably expecting me to run. I didn't. Instead, I took a step forward. Staring at it without so much as one blink. Another step. Then another. The arm of the beast that was up and ready to launch slowly crept down until it hung by it's side while I looked up at it while being as close to the balcony as I could be. "I could smash this house. I could eliminate everything you are. I could destroy you.. but I won't." With that, I turned and walked away. I was expecting a boulder to crush me from behind, but nothing else came. My tears had dried and I no longer felt the pain of my sore spots. I made it past where the stones were once piled but they were gone. I stood there for a moment and took a deep breath before turning around to stare at the thing once more. When I turned.. It was gone. The creature. The house. The only thing there was the still setting sun. I realized something as I stood basking in the warmth... Even though I have things that are nowhere near perfect about myself, I KNOW that and more importantly, I'M doing something. I cannot dwell on the imperfections of others, even if they do look at me through a very judging scope. I continued walking and listening to music while smiling..

          I don't know any perfect people. I know some great people and I knew some great ones who have changed to other things.. But I can't let their rocks make me fall. I swear to you, sitting here and typing all of that made my head feel a LITTLE better. And makes the rest of me feel better too. Hopefully the next post won't make you think "WTF...?" But hey, it happens..
Have a good night.

-SuperMom

Dear "Stranger"

Dear "Stranger",

I'm writing you to fill in some questionable gaps you may have or may be wondering about. For starters, I write a blog. Granted, I've been slacking more than writing it lately, it's still a thing of mine.  Feel free to go back to previous posts and get your fill of madness that is my time. As you know, I have three kids but we'll get to that in a few. Like I told you, I am not mad that we lived apart as it would've most definitely changed my present. The life I have now is a gift in itself aside from the things we do actually have common. Obviously I can't replay EVERY event or memory for you, but I can give a good little run down. Keep in mind, you do NOT need to read this whole thing in one sitting. First, here are some things I love...

The beach, margaritas, Pepsi, being tan, shopping, Game of Thrones, pumpkin spice anything, horror movies, video games, being the boss, photography, Walking Dead, Halloween, sleeping, hot tubs, KFC, Samsung, painting, dessert, Bob's Burgers, comfy clothes, boots, black purses, the color black in general, tree swings, spa days, silver jewelry, chocolate, Dallas Cowboys, slot machines, creepy stuff, Stephen King, wine, personalized gifts, roller coasters, Tim Burton and music. (Of course there are many many more things but this seems like a good jumping off point)

The beach... When I moved away from home, it was first to North Carolina. We were 10 minutes from a small little inlet to the ocean. It wasn't that wonderful and so we'd always make the trip (45 minutes) to the actual ocean beaches. Every time, we'd pass a huge shore store where the entrance was inside a giant shark. I loved body boarding. It was always somewhat nerve pinching while you were sitting on the board just bobbing further and further away from the land... Not knowing what was swimming near or under you while you waited for any kind of wave to take you back to the sand. I've only seen a shark once but that was at the crappy beach and thankfully, we were just walking on the docks... Back to the good beach. We have seen many crabs, washed up jelly fish, even a rotting sea turtle once. (Yeah, pretty gross... poor thing..) I've scooped up SOOOO many shells AND shark teeth. That's my favorite thing to hunt for at the beach.. shark teeth.. Amazing creatures to me. There was one time body boarding that scared me though... My husband and I were out in the water at the same time. Side by side until he drifted behind me. The wave was coming, I was ready. I thought that I had caught it and he had missed it BUT instead... he was ABOVE me. Yes, the wave he caught was taking him over my head... and then it crashed on top of me. My board got stuck in nose first in the sand and because I was attached to the board by my wrist, my body wriggled like a caught fish while the tidal waves rolled over me. I tried like hell to claw the strap off of my wrist but I was stuck and sucking in salt water the entire time. It burned and hurt. Eventually I was able to get free and shoot out of the water finally gasping for air... The scariest part... I was 5 months pregnant with our first daughter at the time... That was the last time I got on a board for a while. I love everything else about the beach (except the way my hair feels after I get out of the water.. gross...) but I will always remember that one day I could have drowned...

Margaritas... Can't say TOO many bad things about this. I mean... they're fucking delicious! Frozen peach is my all time, hands down favorite. Frozen strawberry is probably second and then good ole lime. God it sounds so good right now... There are all kinds of drinking stories but who doesn't have a ton of those...

Pepsi... Yeah. Regular.. None of that diet shit. Diet Pepsi is LIKE Pepsi... If that Pepsi has been shaken for 10 minutes and left out in a car for 3 days... YUCK!

Being tan... yeah yeah.. I've been to the tanner... cooked myself in the sun. I love it. It's not nearly a high priority to me these days but.. a good tan covers up a lot of flaws you know? Almost like a semi permanent foundation ALL over. Ahhh... yeah... Sadly, I'd probably outshine Casper these days.. yikes... This is making me sad, moving on... lol.

Shopping... What girl doesn't like shopping? Shopping in my twenties got me in a lot of trouble. Big. You'd be amazed (at least I was) at how many stores and companies were willing to just GIVE me credit cards. Like.. A lot of them! Want something? Don't have the cash? Just slide THIS! Cha-Ching! And then... interest... credit scores.. limits.. I know I'm not the only person to fall into the hideous gap of credit card misuse and debt... It still sucks. All that stuff.. If I had just waited, I could've had the stuff AND more vacations but instead... interest... I'm happy to report (not like a YAY! HAPPY but.. a responsible type "Happy") that I am now a reformed shopaholic who has quite a few cards GONE. I'm still working (HARD MOST DAYS) but I feel so much better. So much more like a (brace yourself..) "responsible adult". So yeah... shopping....

Game of Thrones... WHOA... Here we go... I don't know if you watch it but let me just say.. if you don't do it... DO IT! I was one of those people for the longest. I'd hear people ALL THE TIME gab about GOT and I was always like "and...?" Finally, after it had been out for five seasons, I decided to sit down and watch the very first episode... Meh. That was it. Nothing GRIPPED me to immediately turn on the second... I turned the TV off and went outside. However... Three weeks later on a cold, rainy, shitty, nothing to do kind of day there happened to be NOTHING on TV whatsoever and so I decided... why not. Done. I watched two episodes without my husband and I was HOOKED! I made myself stop so I didn't jolt too far ahead of him. He was iffy about it because, like me, there was no major HOLY SHIT factor for him. I begged him to watch and thankfully.. BOOM! HOOKED! We blasted through season after season... Addicted. Tyrian, FAVORITE! I finally got what all the fuss was about and was now able to jump right in to random surrounding GOT convo's going on around me. AMAZING. Seriously, watch it.

Pumpkin Spice... The list goes on... Candles, sprays, desserts, shakes. It's all good. GOOOOOOOOOOOD... I love me some pumpkin season!

Horror movies... So, to be honest, I love scary movies. The problem.. There aren't any... I don't know if it's because I'm THAT numb to it or what but they're all pretty predictable or very try hard and lame. Even still... There are several that still get my approval. Old school slashers of course and psychological thrillers.. good stuff.

I hope this gives you a tiny glimpse into someone you're sure you don't know. We'll wrap it up for now. If you would like to know more... you know how to ask.

-SuperMom  (Just another face on the street..)