Do I have a "Screw me over" sign on today?

            Ahhh.. Friday.. TGIF.. After a week of paying bills, running errands, scheduling appointments, and tons of other stuff.. It's nice to see the end of the week! At least I THOUGHT it was going to be nice.. Yesterday I put an alarm clock in my kid's room so they can practice waking up to the beep on their own without me having to go in there constantly when school starts (IN A WEEK!). I should've left it for next week.. I woke up to both girls (And I set it for 8am just to be sure they can HEAR it..) standing next to my bed looking at me like they had been severely disturbed.. "Did the alarm wake you up?" I ask barely vocal.. "Yes! And it's very annoying!" Ok, after hearing that with the attitude in their voices.. I couldn't help but turn my head and smile. My kids are 5 and 8 going on 6 and 9 in the next month, they can most definitely start practicing getting woken up by the dreaded BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! :) So that's where it started.. 8am... From there it all went down hill.. We got breakfast, got dressed, and started with our few things we had to do today before coming home and ENJOYING THE DAY. Let me paint you the scene of what it looked like outside... Blue sky, no clouds, beaming sun, nice breeze and barely 78 degrees.. NOT!! Dark cloudy sky, down pouring rain and already there are tons of puddles getting bigger in my driveway AND on the roads. I stand there for a minute just looking at the rain while my kids get in the car.. It was then I decided I just didn't want to go anywhere for anything. But I had to... :-/ So with a sigh, I crawl into the drivers seat and start to go. First stop: UPS. I get out, go in and resend a package I had originally sent out Monday. Blah.. Then off to get the last of the girls' school clothes.. I don't even need to go into how much fun THAT was but I'll give you a taste. "I want a dress." "No you're not getting a dress right mom?" "Yeah huh!" "No you're not, I want a skirt for the first day of school." "No I want to wear a skirt the first day!"... And so on... Then it was off to the beloved grocery store... First, I decide it would be quicker to take the road with no light.. No deal. You know those nice people who brake and let you out even though they don't HAVE to.. NONE of THOSE people were out today. And after five minutes with no movement whatsoever, I was finally able to turn RIGHT! (Ridiculous I know! And I would have put it in reverse and taken a different way except there were four cars waiting behind me.. GOOD LUCK!) So I pull out finally and am going down the road and I come up to a light. The light is green and I'm about to go straight so good deal all around! That is until an older lady to the right decides she doesn't want to wait for the light and so she pulls out in front of me... Not that that wasn't annoying by itself.. The fact that she didn't go past 15mph was driving me CRAZY! And no, I couldn't get over because of the traffic (Only to the side NOT in front of her!!!) and EVENTUALLY I would need to turn to the right to get to the store. Already totally annoyed (and having to use the bathroom...) I eventually make it to the store. The rain had let up at our previous stop which was good even though we parked in the front row closest to the store. The grocery store is a whole other story. Not only are we in the middle of the freaking parking lot but just as we pull in, like magic... RAIN! So now I'm getting soaked waiting for my kids to get out of the car and have to listen to both of them "I want to hold the umbrella!" Did I mention I was getting soaked? We make it to the crosswalk in front of the store and it was like trying to pull out all over again! Five cars passed before one stopped to let us walk in. They must've wanted to get their car home before it got TOO wet. Meanwhile, I'm standing next to two dry girls while I'm drenched and having to pee! I don't even think people could tell that I wet myself if it came down that. So we cross and make it inside. I go to grab a cart and before I could put my hand on it, another old lady came in the door and grabbed it! I mean yes... There were a ton of carts right next to me but I mean COME ON! I was 10 inches from the stupid thing! Grrr... Moving on.. I had three different aisles of "blockers". A blocker is someone who either leaves their cart in front of something someone else needs OR they STAND in front of what you need even if they're looking at SOMETHING else! So yeah, three of those in one trip is a bad omen all on it's own... By the time I was ready to LEAVE the store it came to the point where we had to wait in line in one of the four available lines (Out of 30!). Of course by the time I'm next in line I'm stuck behind a lady who breaks out a Ziploc bag of assorted coupons... I stood there as still as I could looking back and forth at my kids and the tabloids trying so very hard to NOT start doing the potty dance.. It was getting hard not to... Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me... I make it up and of course get a super (NON) friendly cashier! Now I have a choice that I'm finally DONE at the store... Go to my car.. Or go to the bathroom... I started hearing screaming kids behind me (Not mine thankfully!) and decided it was time to get the hell out of there! So back out to the rain we went. We make it to the car and all of sudden the van next to us starts sounding its alarm. Nobody touched it, we didn't even have a cart to run into it and we're stuck listening to "BOOO, BOOO, BOOO, BOOO!" I get in, back out and leave without thinking twice about it. My bladder starts throbbing even more as I hit EVERY red light from the store to my house... I finally got home and was able to GO and it was awesome. THAT was the best part so far of the morning. After that we read a few stories and I felt EXHAUSTED. But no naps for me... I've been zombie like for the rest of the day while doing the same chore like things I always do. Laundry, dishes, and whatever else. If there was ever a day I could crawl into a dark room and S L E E P, I think today would be it. :-/ Feeling pretty blah today and I'm hoping I can coast the rest of the night without anything ELSE pushing my buttons... Wish me luck!!! -Super Mom

Why a Man Cave...

                  I keep seeing different shows and people I know talking about designing the perfect Man Cave. We're talking big screen TV, marshmallow plush recliners, animal heads and sports memorabilia all over the walls, a decent sized fridge stocked full with beer, maybe a fireplace, gaming system hooked up, surround sound, no women allowed or Man Cave signs on the door and who KNOWS what else lurks on the shelves or in the hidden compartments! Sounds like heaven for a guy. They really need their own space and place to just unwind after all of their stressors through the day. In fact, all man caves should even come with a bell or buzzer to summon their wife whenever they need. Because God forbid he would need a snack and would have to LEAVE heaven just to get it! I mean why do that if you have a wife anyway? See we, the wives, don't NEED our own little hideout area. We already have SO MANY rooms! Like.. The laundry room! Ooo..Ahh... I mean the clothes SPIN! Let's not forget the kitchen.. That's right.. The WHOLE kitchen!! We can cook there.. bake there.. put stuff away from our grocery shopping there.. I mean.. Possibilities!! Talk about relaxing! Who needs a comfy chair and big screen TV when you could DO DISHES!!! Men with man caves don't know what they're missing! They deserve the room to themselves.. I mean they take of the children ALL DAY with no breaks.. Oops, that's the mom. Well, they have to clean and make sure everything is kept up in the house. The toilets, the floors, vacuuming, dusting, dishes, laundry and so much more. Dang! That's the mom too.. Let me think.. Prepare the most meals.. No.. Uh.. Go grocery shopping.. Nope.. Hmm.. Pay the bills on time.. that's the mom too! Man.. Yeah.. Something's a little off.. Now I know that guys get up, go to work and some times work long hard days, it's true.. But.. The day in the life of a mom wife is almost ALWAYS long and hard.. And a lot of times we just go with the flow and automatically cater to someone else's long days.. Have you ever heard this saying.. If you haven't.. Then seeing it now won't be the first time you think about it! It goes like this.. A man rises and falls with the sun.. But a woman's work is never done.. How true.. How very, very true! So we even have a saying and yet.. nobody I know is working on their woman den... Think about that.. A dedicated fridge that holds chocolate and wine sits in the corner.. The windows have that special film that lets you look out KNOWING nobody can look in.. There's a wall mounted big screen TV hooked up to a DVR of ALL of your shows you never have to skip because something else is recording.. We have the comfy recliners and a big plush sofa incase we feel the need to fall and stretch.. It would always smell good in there.. (as in no hint of dirty laundry or overflowing trash..) We too would have our gaming systems and tablet and computer for relaxing gaming, reading, and surfing.. (Imagine the calm posts you would read if they were being written from a room like that instead of in the middle of making dinner with a kid wrapped around your leg..) The walls would be sound proof as well as the door (And on the door would be a sign that reads something like this: Before you interrupt my peace by banging on this door.. Remember all I've done today and who I've done it for.. Just let me have a small break now before I go insane.. Otherwise I just may snap and that could result in pain. So turn around my lovely one and don't start feeling sad.. If you have a problem or need help, just go and find your DAD!) Because let's face it.. There would ALWAYS be someone on the other side trying to get in or wonder what you're doing..  Ahhh... I wouldn't even need the bell or buzzer because I would sneak a snack in when I went and not open the door again until I was ready to come out! Could be 10 minutes.. could be an hour.. Who knows! I mean.. You would think all men with mom wives would be all for this idea.. Think of how relaxed and calming it would be. In theory, we would be more inclined to listen to whatever their problems were in the day. And seriously, it's cheaper than therapy! One day... :) -Super Mom

Seriously bird? PICK A NEW WINDOW!

               Think of any old classic movie in the morning time.. Where the camera pans in to a bedroom as the character waking up is bathed in sunlight, they stretch gracefully and smile as they hear the birds chirping and singing outside of their window.. That's how I woke up today! Almost. The only differences were that my hand was totally numb from hanging over the side of the bed and the "singing" outside my window was actually closer to a squawking, dying crow or something! I opened one eye and scanned the room until I landed on the clock.. 7:42.. My husband had only been gone FIVE minutes and I wake up to THAT. Remember how the seagull on The Little Mermaid couldn't carry a tune for anything.. You know, that romantic part where EVERY other bird was grooving right along and then all of a sudden you hear "Whaaaa, whaaaa whaaaaa WHAAAAAA!" Yeah.. I WISH this bird sounded like that! I rolled over facing away from the window and closed my eyes.. I have only ever had one other nested bird outside of a bedroom window but that was in a totally different house years ago.. Like a fool, I thought that the bird was just hang out for a few.. Make his NOISES.. then go! HA! Fool indeed... After a few minutes with my fan on high and me pretending I was deaf.. I threw one.. then TWO pillows over my head. No deal.."RAAAAWK.. RAAAAWKK!" I don't even know what sound it WAS but that's as close as I can type it! Finally, I get up.. 8:07.. Nearly thirty minutes later I see what kind of mythical creature was stooped outside my window trying to make me go insane... Apparently, when the blinds opened, he or she FLEW AWAY! Are you kidding me right now? So I let out my own aggravated growl to myself as I close the blinds, turn around and fall face first back into bed.. My kids weren't even up yet so YES I would gladly try to go back to sleep for my thirty minutes or less until they wake up.. I curl up with my pillows and blanket. Then I get to that sweet spot where you're just SECONDS away from falling and then of course.. "RAAAAAWWWK!" I rolled to my back with that look on my face that must've read "S E R I O U S L Y ?" All I wanted was a power snooze.. No more than thirty MINUTES! And along comes this satanic rooster wannabe with his horrible squawks! WHY ME!!!! I throw and kick the blanket off of me and sit up with my legs hanging off the edge of the bed.. The noise strikes again! I grab the string to the blinds and yank it down sending the folded blinds up with crazy speed. (Faster than before which SHOULD have scared him away.. again..) There it was.. a crow.. at the top of the tree that sits outside my window... He didn't get startled.. Just stayed there perched.. Look around.. "RAAWK.".. Look around some more... "RAAAAWKKK".. :-/ I was tempted to run outside to find a camera crew telling me I was on Punk'd or Boiling Points or something but instead I did what any calm normal person would do.. I started pounding on the window yelling "GO AWAY!! GO THE HELL AWAY!!!!!!! I WANT TO SLEEP!!!!" FINALLY... the crazy non mechanical (Yes, I was almost convinced it could've been someone screwing with me with a remote controlled hell bird pushing my buttons...) flew away.. He didn't go far.. only to the power line maybe 20 feet away.. I stared.. Not taking my eye off of that annoying feathered freak.. A few more minutes went by I'm sure, and he took off.. I waited there.. No bird.. I took a step away from the window.. No bird.. I sat on my bed and slowly kicked my legs up still looking out the window at the tree.. Still no bird... I laid down smiling and pulled my blanket back up to me.. I rolled over and got comfy then suddenly.. Creeeeek... I turn my head to my opening door... "Mom.. why were you yelling and making so much noise?? I was trying to sleep. Will you make me pancakes?"  Grrrrrrrr....... OK! I'M UP!!! And the day has been crazy ever since.. -Super Mom