There have been a lot of times in life where I want to crawl to a dark corner, pull a blanket over my head and just cry while I shut myself down completely. Times like that make me wonder what I've done wrong or why life can be so unfair. Eventually, I suck it up and realize that the "balance" in life, isn't anywhere near balanced at all. When you're a wife.. They seem to be pretty leveled if all is well. However, if you're a wife-mom, your side of the scale will ALWAYS be weighed down. I've realized that no matter WHAT it is, a wife-mom has to be MORE and ER all the time... "What the hell does that mean?" I'm sure you're wondering..... Let me explain....
Let's say you're at home cleaning all day with a severe headache, your child comes home early from school because of a stomach issue with homework even you don't want to try to understand and your husband comes home pissed off because an incompetent ass at his job was doing what they do best.. Nothing. Everyone in that particular equation is having it rough right? Sadly, even though you've been working all day doing various crap while in pain, you're not the top priority in that sequence of crappy events. You have to be MORE patient with everything going on and be strongER so that the other people in the mix are taken care of. It doesn't sound fair and it's not, but that's how it goes. Even though both you and your husband have had shitty days, you have to be MORE understanding. I'm not saying that a wife-mom is a doormat. NOT AT ALL. In fact, this is what we take on if taken seriously......
NicER, strongER, smartER, bravER, craziER, fastER, happiER, wisER
and
MORE helpful, MORE insightful, MORE capable, MORE reliable, MORE outgoing, MORE honest, MORE caring, MORE loving, MORE creative, MORE willing and yes, even MORE selfish.
That last one might have you wondering. "But I thought everyone else comes first...." Here's the deal, for the most part, I take care of everyone and everything in my life and family. If my daughter needs batteries for something, mom knows. If my husband reaches up for some glasses wipes, they're always there thanks to.....Mom. Whether they want to admit it or not, I am the glue that holds their world in place. That's not even me being obnoxious or conceited, that's the truth! I do believe that in the pie that is my life, everyone else takes up the majority. However, to be MORE sane and MORE put together, there are times that a wife-mom needs to be MORE selfish. The key is, to have a mark that lets it be KNOWN when you're having a MORE selfish time. For example... If I spend all day cleaning my house with a headache, running errands, trying to write while the baby screams at the top of her lungs while trying to punch my keyboard and the dog chews the lamp cord in half after eating my chips that my kid dumped all over the floor because she could..... I might take that night as a selfish one... My husband would know as soon as he saw my face for the first time after getting home... The face that says all of this...
*I am clocking out. It is YOUR turn. If someone yells "MOM!" again, I'll play T-Rex and freeze with the mind set of, if I don't move, they can't see me. I'm serious. I haven't been able to sit down once today without being followed and screamed at and that's INCLUDING on the toilet. I do NOT want to even THINK about cooking dinner because if I did, I would probably burn it on purpose out of spite! And if you think you're going to leave your shoes in the middle of the hallway or anything else out of place... THINK AGAIN! I need a bath. I need a drink. And I need to hear something that's not animated. PS.. thanks. I love you.*
That's a lot to say with a face... And if I did it ALL the time, it wouldn't be as rewarding when I GET the selfish time because then I'd just be considered a big bitch. Thankfully, I've had just enough practice so that when that face comes on, my husband is pretty quick to step in and let me breathe. Bottom line, in my family anyway, i have to be a lot MORE and ER than all of them. Even if they don't think so... I am. My husband may think he is, like a lot of other husbands out there but... I believe the wife-moms are it. So when you get stressed out and realize how unfair everything is, remember two things... One.. You have every right to be MORE selfish when you need to be. And two... No man could ever do what we do. Love you all mama's (and dad's who read this! I know there are tons of you out there who come EXTREMELY close!). Have a great Sunday night everyone. Good to be back...
-SuperMom
