My run in with LASIK..... NOT GOOD!

The more I write on here about my life, job and family, the more you guys tend to find out about me and them. You probably know by now that I have three children and a husband who has been in the military and police force.. Well this story is about my husband and the journey we embarked on all because I wanted to make him happy... Ready, set, shoot me...

To let you all know a key factor to this story, I will tell you that my husband has worn glasses for most of his life. They date all the way back to elementary some time he tells me. When we first started dating he would simply NOT WEAR THEM because he thought that I thought he looked better without them. Obviously the more time we spent together... the more he would squint when necessary and eventually, yes, would have to put his glasses on. I learned early on that he was not a contacts guy. Too much hassle and maintenance as opposed to sliding glasses on your face. Either way was fine with me! He was in the Marines for six and a half years and more than once he had told me he would LOVE to have LASIK and just not have to worry about glasses anymore. Aside from being expensive as hell (and NOT covered by insurance), it also scared the hell out of me. I have an aunt who had it done years ago and had complications.. And though I don't know the full extent of all that.. The thought of something slipping or screwing up... Terrified me! He would only mention it briefly then let it go and eventually it would be a lost conversation that would resurface every few years when his glasses would fall off or he'd be tediously cleaning them... He made it through years of the military and a few years as a cop with his glasses... Now he is a maintenance supervisor (weird twist, I know..) and he's up into things all the time. I can understand and appreciate the frustration with having that job and glasses.. So with that thought in mind, a couple weeks ago I started researching LASIK and the nearby offices, the surgeons near me, the time of the procedure, the cost scales, the care routine... ALL OF IT. Finally I saw that the Lasik Vision Institute had a "20% Off Procedure!" thing going and it was posted right under a block that said "As low as $299 per eye!". After going back and forth for a while, I decided to call the number. I told the lady it was for my husband. She told me the consultation was free and if I booked the appointment right then, I would receive the 20% off the actual procedure if there was one. I made the appointment in the nearest certified Lasik Institute office which is 45 minutes from us for 10am that Friday (Monday I had called..) and when I hung up with her I immediately called my husband. I was excited to hear him be excited... I told him about the appointment and he said it was great. (He doesn't get all enthused over stuff like me on the off chance that it doesn't happen.. Such a downer sometimes..) The days passed then it was Friday. He took the girls to school and went to work for a while in the morning and came home to pick me up to go. We made it there 15 minutes early, started filling out paperwork and was ready to go in there at his appointment time... Yeah RIGHT! This is where it STARTED getting crazy... He didn't get IN there to get all scoped out until almost noon! (Keep in mind that I had the baby in a stroller... that only has SO LONG before she's over it...fun fun fun...) They end up dilating his pupils and tell me that I'll be driving us home. Ok... The manager of everything sits us down at 1:15 and explains that he has a very high prescription and that years ago he wouldn't have been able to do the surgery. However, their lasers are so pristine and have come so far that he fits in as a candidate! She goes on telling us all the good stuff and then hits me with a brick.. "We can get him in for surgery next Saturday and it will only be $1799 per eye!" My heart sank... I felt like I had been kicked in the throat.. The wave of dread and shock hit me so hard that without control, I started crying... SHE was really trying to sell it like it was a DEAL and for all I know it could be but it was nowhere near what I was expecting.. At all.. Had it been the total for BOTH EYES, then sure but no.... Nope.. $3600 that we don't have just lying around for my husband to be able to see without glasses... I had a Care Credit account I had opened for emergency medical crap the year before and there was $1400 available to use. But that would've been too easy... I asked for a Kleenex and was quietly sobbing and checking the time. Soon we would have to head back so my kids wouldn't get off the bus without us there. She asked me what was wrong and I told her it was just a major shock. Not to mention we had already been in the damn place for almost four hours... I felt horrible. After hearing that she lowered it $3200...  I told her that was nice but we still couldn't do it. She asked if I wanted to UP my limit on my card.. I told her not really but she could try. They moved it up to $2400. Great... She Lowered it again to $3000 flat. I sat at the desk with my head in my hands trying to stop myself from leaking. She left the room and came back a few minutes later. "They said I can make $2800. We can put most of it on the card and you would just need the $400 balance". I started thinking of who to call since the previous month cost us almost $680 of our savings between our two vehicles. I called my aunt and was trying like hell to not bawl in her ear to explain what was going on.. We had to leave the office to go home.. I talk to her and eventually calm down on the drive home. She starts taking my information to help when my husbands phone rings in the passenger seat. I hear him say things like "Really? That's great! Thank you so much..." and so on. He hangs up the phone and tells me we don't need to borrow the money anymore. I look at him confused... "That was the lady from the office, they will do it for $2400 so it can all go on the card." I drop my mouth in a better shock.. "Really?!?" I start telling my aunt and all she could do was laugh and tell me I have a skill and a gift if I made them drop their price $1200 in the last twenty minutes! I was so happy! He said I had to call the office back when we got home to go over a few things. We grabbed lunch on the way home and made it with twenty minutes to spare before the girls got home. I called the office and got the same girl who was helping us. "I just felt terrible because you were so upset and I know you guys want this so much...." and so on. I thanked her and asked if the surgery would be the next Saturday. She came back with "We could actually get him in TOMORROW if you would like." My stomach started fluttering... It was a mix of nerves, anxiety and excitement. I asked my husband and he said if he could do the next day that would be great. We set it up, paid the $100 deposit to hold the appointment time of 11:30am and gave her pharmacy information so she could get his prescription out and he could start taking his needed drops that day and following the surgery. We get all that squared away and I run to grab some groceries. While we're out (my oldest daughter came with me so I wouldn't go alone.. so sweet...) we hit a few little stores and got what we needed. I was on my way to grab our pizza for dinner before running to the pharmacy. Since I was hitting every SINGLE red light on the way, I decided to call and see if it was even ready. It was.. She asked if he had insurance and because he does all of that through the VA.. I said that I would just have to pay for it since they didn't call it in.. She said "They're kind of expensive.." I thought, they're two bottles of eye drops... what's considered expensive for THAT? Then I got my answer... "The first one is the antibiotic and that one is $79.." Here we go again, kick to the throat! "And the other one is up there... It's the steroid and it's $150.." The tears were welling again. Why can things NOT just be SIMPLE!?! This whole plan started with good intentions... I had no idea there would be so many negatives for the BIG positive... She said she was going to see if she could get it down any kind of way. Hopefully... I thought. We made it to the pizza place and walk inside. I walk up to the counter and before I could get my wallet out, the ass wad who had come in BEHIND us cuts us off and orders two hot and ready's. I look at the girl at the register and ask "Are you f***ing kidding me right now?" And the dude leaves with his two pizzas.. Of course because it's ME, they were the LAST two pizzas. So we were asked to sit down and wait the ten freaking minutes for the new ones... Doesn't sound like a long time but after the emotional wreck of a day I was having... it felt like forever.. FINALLY we got the food and headed out to the pharmacy where I was hoping like hell that something would've change in that $230 price... We go in and head to the back... I give a lady my name and she said "So you DON'T have a card for him?" I looked at her for a second before saying "No..." She gave me the total... It hadn't changed. Not twelve seconds had gone by from her saying that had a tear rolled down my face. "I'm sorry... This day has been... AAAHHH! I'm sorry.." I turned around and started blotting my face with my sleeves. My daughter looked up at me and said "Don't cry mom.." and five seconds later I could see her eyes starting to rim up with tears.. Oh my God... Why won't this day just END already! The lady behind the counter looked at us and told us we can't be doing all that because she was a sensitive person and soon SHE would start crying if we didn't stop. Ten seconds after she said that, two tears rolled down both of HER cheeks! It was an epidemic! Leaking faces everywhere!!! She looked at my phone and asked if I had internet on it as she swiped a Kleenex across her face. I told her it did. She took and went back and forth from my phones screen to her computer screen... A few minutes later she says, "Ok, I got one down to $30" I looked at her confused as hell and asked "So the $80 one is now $30?"  She said "No, the $150 one is now $30.. And the $80 one is now $12.99.." I was FLOORED! "What the hell did you do?" I didn't want to ask but seriously, I was so confused and nauseous and starting to get happy... "It's a site... It doesn't always have the right codes but for these two it did. The new total is $44.10.." I laughed a little and said "It is so hard to NOT climb over this counter and kiss you right now! I mean it, you have made my night!" Then (because obviously I'm pretty broken..) tears were welling again. Happy tears at least! I hugged my daughter who was now smiling and wiping hers away. I paid the lady and went to the car... We finally made it home, ate, got the girls in bed and got him going on his drops... Things were finally starting to seem better... The very next morning, my husband would walk out of that building with no glasses and be HAPPY about it... I tried fishing for excitement by saying things like "This is the LAST day you'll be wearing glasses..." I got nothing. "I will be excited when it's done." is all I got from him... My goodness... The next day we were up, got breakfast and are gone. It was a rainy blah kind of day but that wasn't getting in the way of what was coming! We get there at 11 like she had suggested so he could fill out his form for the day and be in there by 11:30.. The office was packed... This office has a nation renowned surgeon who comes from a different city only on Saturdays to do the surgeries.. And apparently, he had a LOT of patients to do.... After sitting against the wall due to lack of seating, we decided to wait in the car and watch a movie on the laptop... He didn't receive his paper to fill out until 1:15... I went in after he did that and let her swipe the card for the $2300 (because of the 100 we had paid the night before..) and she said he would be in soon. 2:05 is when he was called back. They told me I could leave and they would call me when he was done because even though the actual surgery took only seconds, it would be anywhere from 2-3 hours in the recovery just to be sure everything went well... I hugged him and kissed him and wished him luck (Yes, I was still scared...) and I pulled out of the lot and headed towards the mall. Thankfully, it was only two miles away and big enough where I figured we could walk the whole thing and be done at just about the same time he would be. We get the baby in the stroller and cover it from the rain then darted inside. We were cruising around the second story looking for anything resembling lunch for about 40 minutes when I get a text.. a text from my husband that said "Come get me". As I pulled up his number to call him I thought "damn that was fast!" I called.. "Done already?" He answered.. "No. I'll tell you about it when you get here.." Now my heart was racing.. first off.. we had been at the damn office for HOURS.. AGAIN.. and he did not sound happy... I started making my way back after loading the kids up.. I called him again to ask what the deal was and he told me that when the surgeon actually LOOKED at his case, he didn't feel comfortable doing the surgery without a second examination.. So they scheduled it for the next Thursday telling my husband he would be able to be the first in line for surgery the next Saturday. My husband did the right thing by waiting outside of the office because as sad as I had been the day before, by that moment I was equally pissed off and more than ready to tell someone about it. I called the lady in the office from my phone to ask personally what the problem was... Apparently, the doctor who scoped him out the day before never SENT the results to the surgeon to go over and because his case was so extreme, he didn't feel comfortable without a second look... Oh my.... We head back home and decide to call friends to meet us for a dinner. They do. We then make plans to stop at the party store and have the friends come over for a movie later. They do. We had drinks, watched a nice movie and even played games and actually had FUN. It was much needed fun after the few days we had been put through... I felt so bad that he went to bed that night putting his glasses next to the bed on the table... Sunday was a relaxed chill day. We lounged around, played with the kids and had a relaxing lovey day. A very nice end... Monday came and it was back to the routine as usual - get up, get the kids up, dressed, breakfast, make lunches, kiss them and my husband good bye and feed the baby.. Before my husband left he said how much it sucked that he would have to take more time off work for Thursday and how we would probably be there for hours again.. "I know..." I said. He left.. A few hours went by and my phone rang... It was my husband... "Well I don't have to worry about Thursday." I answered "Oh no? Why is that?"  He goes "The doctor from the office just called me. Apparently, after REALLY looking into my numbers and specs, my case is out of reach of what the laser is capable of and so I am no longer able to get the surgery..." Are you F***ING SERIOUS!!! I started crying (surprise, surprise..) I swore into the phone between gasps... He asked why I was crying and I said "I know you have wanted this for SO LONG and I've always been scared.. I finally get it together and set it up, we spend HOURS in that damn office, they tell you you're getting it, they lower the price for us, we go back and now.. it was all for NOTHING. Now I know why you don't get excited for stuff! I feel so bad because I was excited FOR YOU and now... nothing... I feel so bad for even trying.. I would've rather gone on with you being annoyed at me for being ridiculous instead of going through all of this shit for nothing...." He told me it was ok and that maybe SOME day it might work. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad they didn't go in while uncomfortable and put a laser in his eye... But why say ONE thing if you don't know for SURE??? That was last Monday when they supposedly started the refund process of our $100 and the $2300 to the card... Neither has been seen yet... As for the drops, we're just ass out on those. Thank GOD they weren't $230 like they started out... All in all it's been a rough one. Exhausting, disappointing, time consuming, frustrating and more.... All.. for nothing... The place we went to is not one that I will be recommending anytime soon if ever... I have no more confidence there... So in the end, the miracle surgery didn't happen... my husband still wears his glasses and is still gorgeous as ever but I wish that this was the one time where I didn't have to tell him he was right... :/ The moral of the story if there is one... Don't get too excited if it's an up in the air thing AND if someone tries to tell you you're getting a "great deal" as it breaks your bank.. Shed a few tears.. Because apparently you can haggle when it comes to surgery and other things......  Happy Wednesday! -Super Mom

Moms... What's in YOUR purse? :/

You know, I've thought about writing this many times about this particular subject. It hits me every time I dig into my giant, heavy, filled with everyone else's stuff, purse... In a normal woman's purse, she could very easily reach into her average size shoulder bag or clutch and pull out a pen within seconds... Me finding a pen..? Puh-Lease! It takes TWO hands and more than two minutes and even with that, there's still no guarantee that I am coming out with a pen even though there are at least two in there... It's maddening! No matter how many times I clean the freaking thing, by the end of the week it feels like I'm carrying a cinder block on my shoulder! Add that, a grocery bag or two AND a baby... FORGET ABOUT THAT! I swear I could put some lifters to shame in the gym. Seriously... Rock arms from a purse... Anyway, let's take a look at the variety of purse carriers out there and then you will see why us moms have it so rough...

Carrier:                Toddlers and their cute little play purses...

Contents: Anything from small toys, brushes, or pieces of snack foods they decided to save...

Weight Comparison: A few empty plastic bottles up to a bottle of water...




Carrier:                Kids and their little mom hand me down play purses...

Contents: Pencils, pens, brushes, their favorite doll, candy, some dress up jewelry...

Weight Comparison: One to two bottles of water or less...




Carrier:               Tweens and their cutesy little handbags from the mall....

Contents: Sparkly lip gloss (or five), a mirror, a brush, a pen, small pad of paper, mp3 player..

Weight Comparison: One bottle of water or less...




Carrier:             Teens...

Contents: Cell phone, a tampon or two or pads, chap stick or lip gloss, a pen, extra eyeliner, gum or mints, small wallet...

Weight Comparison: Between one bottle of water and three bottles of water.. depending..



Carrier:           Working Non Mother......

Contents: Wallet, cell phone, chap stick, lip stick, pen, gum, lady things.., business cards, change, maybe a piece of mail and receipts...

Weight Comparison: Two to four bottles of water depending on size of bag and amount of each thing..



And finally....... The purse of all purses.... The bag no one actually WANTS to carry... A Moms purse!!!  Before I give the details on this, I'm going to put MY OWN PURSE into this category and it's contents. There is no exaggeration here ladies and gentlemen... This is everything IN my purse since the last time I cleaned it.. (About a week ago... Keep in mind that's about 7 days with this purse and some of those were spent somewhere with children... ) Ok... Are you ready... Here is MY mom purse...

Carrier:       ME! (A mother of three who does photography and has a big Vera bag... Think tote like  almost...)

Contents:  A big wallet (containing cards, rarely cash, some change, check book, a few pictures, and some receipts for bigger things..) two kinds of chap stick, about four colors of lip gloss and sticks, cell phone, two pens, some yogurt melts for the baby, two different chewy toys for the baby, two diapers and a slim pack of wipes for the baby, two hair bands and clips, three glasses wipes, a small bottle of Tylenol, a stack of business cards, two bills, a set of earbuds, a notebook sized planner for events, three tampons, travel size deodorant my daughter didn't want to carry after we bought it, a headband my other daughter didn't want to wear while at a store, hand sanitizer, three kinds of gum, four band aids, a Bluetooth earpiece, a dedicated coin purse to keep change out of my wallet, a small bottle of perfume, coupons for free Bath and bodyworks lotion, a nail file, nail clippers, a pack of Kleenex, a wad of receipts and a few napkins....

Weight Comparison: Carrying it all the time... it feels like a half case of water OR a small elephant!

I know what you're thinking... "Why not just put half of that crap in a diaper bag and carry that?" BECAUSE that would end up adding MORE to carry! And who the hell wants to carry MORE than all THAT??? Not this girl... I DO have a diaper bag that I keep in the car for when I need it... It's contents are almost as much as my purse but they all pertain to the baby.. (Extra outfit, baby powder, lotion, band aids, wipes, food and of course diapers among other things..) Or you might be thinking this.. "Just clean your bag every night or simply don't LET anyone put anything in your bag or get a smaller bag!" Let me answer that with... YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! Clean it every night... No thanks! By the time I get home and get the damn thing off my arms, it sits alone on the shelf until I need it again. I already have three kids and a husband to tend to at the end of the day... I don't need another time slot added for a bag... And not letting them.. Hmm... I agree with the phrase "Choose your battles" and though most times when I catch them trying to stuff something in their for THEIR convenience, some times, I just want to hurry up at wherever I am so we can all just get the hell out of there safely and sanely. (For the most part anyway!) Lastly, a smaller bag..? Seriously... I also believe (to a degree) that it's better to have it and not need then to need it and not have it... Obviously I don't pack up my whole house in there but come on.. Band aids and hand sanitizer.. with kids... Uh, yeah... I think that's ok! That and I also like having the option to be able to smuggle in full bags of candy into the movie theater when I go. Not that I actually DO THAT.... Just.. like having the option....   It's crazy because I will have just cleaned my purse out and then go to the store and both my kids AND my husband act as if it's a "DUMP ALL YOUR CRAP HERE!" kind of thing and before I know it, my neat and tidy bag is full of gum wrappers, hair wear, jewelry they changed their minds about, baby toys, cups, mail, and oh my goodness it just goes on and on... They throw it in and I get strap imprints on my freaking shoulder. :/ Oh to be a mom.... I'm going to go ahead and get all this crap out of here just like I did last week... Wish me luck! -Super Mom

Getting ready for a dinner date.. Guys vs Girls....

You already know from the title what the topic is.. If you have ever rolled your eyes in disgust at the thought of this title then you should know exactly where I'm going to go with it.. I'm going to give you a quick guy vs girl look at getting ready to go out on a nice dinner date with your person... In MY case anyway (and MANY others too I'm sure... and if not.. you all suck...) :) Keep in mind that the little scenario here is leaving OUT all the extra fun the kids and everyday life dispense... with all THAT we'd have a small book! So we'll just stick to the title for today and try not to mix it in with everything else...Also keep in mind that my husband and I "go out" alone MAYBE three times a year.. and so yes.. it feels like we're actually DATING when we go. That's how rare it is to be somewhere together without kids, toys, bottles and diaper bags...  Here we go...



A week before the date....

Me: "How about we get a sitter and go out to eat just the two of us this weekend.."

Husband: "Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"

Me: "Hmm... I'll think about it."

Husband: "Ok."



Four days before the date....

Me thinking: Do I want to wear a dress... or a skirt.. Or this... No.. Ooooo... THIS! If I could just... get it.. ON... There.. Oh yeah.. I would date me.. Wait.. what the.. a HOLE? Seriously?!? Damn it!!! No...... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG! *Throws not so perfect outfit in the back of the closet before leaving and watching a show*



Three days before the date....

Me calling husband: "Where do you think we should go to eat? It's up to you."

Husband: "Umm... Olive Garden?"

Me: "hmm... Not really feeling THAT.... or Chinese... or Mexican... anything else though..."

Husband: "So... McDonalds?"

Me: "Hahaha... No. Not McDonalds. I don't know.. maybe... something with steak and salad? I don't know."

Husband: "We'll figure something out I'm sure.."

Me: "Ok ok... love you bye."

Husband: "love you, bye."




The day before the date....

Me thinking: I should've bought a dress... But I don't always wear them.. I'll just do a skirt.. With THIS shirt maybe... Oh my God I need to paint my toenails! That's bad...  and why... Man I wish my legs weren't so freaking WHITE! I look like I have a disease or something.. I think I'm too white for a vampire even.. Freaking Twilight! Better white than super hairy I guess.. Nope, not going with a skirt!  Maybe I'll wear pants... Dressy pants with a cute top... But WHICH top... This is so f***ing annoying! Maybe we'll just hit a drive thru alone.. Ooooo.. how romantic... BLAH! This sucks... I can't find what I want!! *as I rifle through smashed together hanging garments in my bursting closet...* Whatever.. I still have tomorrow. *Give up and leave the room.*



The morning of the date....

Me thinking: Holy shit, look at that hair! I need spray.. my straightener.. I should've straightened yesterday... Whoa... I need HELP is what I need.. *Start straightening hair for the first time...*

Later...

Me thinking: Why does my hair look really good on one side and poofy on the other? Grrr... Stay DOWN! *Applying spray and straightening hair for the second time* Ok.. find the top.... Too big.. too tight.. too blah... Ahhh... here we go.. Got the shirt.. got the pants.. got the.. shoe? Where the hell is the other shoe.... Girls!!!!! *Go to daughters bedroom.. rifle through the closet, toy box, under the bed...* Ah ha! In the Lego box.. Why wouldn't it be in the Lego box... *Go back to my room..*

Me calling husband: "are you getting off work at the normal time (5pm) and do you want to eat around 6?"

Husband: "I should be and sure."


Later....


My getting ready.... Time lapse of about... 45-60 minutes..

Jump in the shower and NOT getting my previously straightened hair wet, get out, put on pants, shirt (after the underwear things of course), go to the vanity start the makeup... Foundation, bronzer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner. Hmm.. Mascara..? Sure.. Mascara. Get in the jewelry drawer for a bracelet, a nice watch, a necklace and earrings... Look in the mirror.. See semi poofy hair.. Go for round three with the straightener... Spray hair.. Grab deodorant then perfume... Last minute look in the mirror.. Good. Glance at the clock.. should be here any time.. Grab my heels, slip them on, grab some lip gloss for a quick shine.. Done... About damn time...

Husband gets home and gets ready... Time lapse of no more than... 10 minutes.. and that's a stretch...

He jumps in the shower, grabs shampoo, rinses and gets out, towel dry's hair, adds gel and slicks it into place with his fingers.. Hair is done... Goes to his closet and grabs some dark jeans and a solid black shirt.. Puts them on.. Grabs socks.. Puts them on.. Same with shoes... Goes and puts on deodorant and a spritz of cologne... Throws a watch on and guess what... he's DONE!


I look at him and think "My God he looks good..." and then think "God being a woman sucks some times... Here I am getting ready and thinking about this night for DAYS and he gets in and out of the shower and his closet in under ten minutes ready to go... What a load of......."

So yeah... I usually have to touch up the hair AGAIN before we stroll out. Isn't that just the way... So much for a special night.. SO much time and effort for an hour or two to fly by... Yeah.. Some times.. Being a woman just sucks! And as usual.. Men have it so easy..... Suckers. Still love the time though. And thankfully, he doesn't ever NOT tell me I'm not looking good! (Is that right? lol) So at least my prep time (MAJOR PREP TIME) and effort never go unnoticed! ;)

Hoping I'm not the only one out there with this problem... You know who you are! :) Happy Monday everyone!!! -Super Mom