Moms... What's in YOUR purse? :/

You know, I've thought about writing this many times about this particular subject. It hits me every time I dig into my giant, heavy, filled with everyone else's stuff, purse... In a normal woman's purse, she could very easily reach into her average size shoulder bag or clutch and pull out a pen within seconds... Me finding a pen..? Puh-Lease! It takes TWO hands and more than two minutes and even with that, there's still no guarantee that I am coming out with a pen even though there are at least two in there... It's maddening! No matter how many times I clean the freaking thing, by the end of the week it feels like I'm carrying a cinder block on my shoulder! Add that, a grocery bag or two AND a baby... FORGET ABOUT THAT! I swear I could put some lifters to shame in the gym. Seriously... Rock arms from a purse... Anyway, let's take a look at the variety of purse carriers out there and then you will see why us moms have it so rough...

Carrier:                Toddlers and their cute little play purses...

Contents: Anything from small toys, brushes, or pieces of snack foods they decided to save...

Weight Comparison: A few empty plastic bottles up to a bottle of water...




Carrier:                Kids and their little mom hand me down play purses...

Contents: Pencils, pens, brushes, their favorite doll, candy, some dress up jewelry...

Weight Comparison: One to two bottles of water or less...




Carrier:               Tweens and their cutesy little handbags from the mall....

Contents: Sparkly lip gloss (or five), a mirror, a brush, a pen, small pad of paper, mp3 player..

Weight Comparison: One bottle of water or less...




Carrier:             Teens...

Contents: Cell phone, a tampon or two or pads, chap stick or lip gloss, a pen, extra eyeliner, gum or mints, small wallet...

Weight Comparison: Between one bottle of water and three bottles of water.. depending..



Carrier:           Working Non Mother......

Contents: Wallet, cell phone, chap stick, lip stick, pen, gum, lady things.., business cards, change, maybe a piece of mail and receipts...

Weight Comparison: Two to four bottles of water depending on size of bag and amount of each thing..



And finally....... The purse of all purses.... The bag no one actually WANTS to carry... A Moms purse!!!  Before I give the details on this, I'm going to put MY OWN PURSE into this category and it's contents. There is no exaggeration here ladies and gentlemen... This is everything IN my purse since the last time I cleaned it.. (About a week ago... Keep in mind that's about 7 days with this purse and some of those were spent somewhere with children... ) Ok... Are you ready... Here is MY mom purse...

Carrier:       ME! (A mother of three who does photography and has a big Vera bag... Think tote like  almost...)

Contents:  A big wallet (containing cards, rarely cash, some change, check book, a few pictures, and some receipts for bigger things..) two kinds of chap stick, about four colors of lip gloss and sticks, cell phone, two pens, some yogurt melts for the baby, two different chewy toys for the baby, two diapers and a slim pack of wipes for the baby, two hair bands and clips, three glasses wipes, a small bottle of Tylenol, a stack of business cards, two bills, a set of earbuds, a notebook sized planner for events, three tampons, travel size deodorant my daughter didn't want to carry after we bought it, a headband my other daughter didn't want to wear while at a store, hand sanitizer, three kinds of gum, four band aids, a Bluetooth earpiece, a dedicated coin purse to keep change out of my wallet, a small bottle of perfume, coupons for free Bath and bodyworks lotion, a nail file, nail clippers, a pack of Kleenex, a wad of receipts and a few napkins....

Weight Comparison: Carrying it all the time... it feels like a half case of water OR a small elephant!

I know what you're thinking... "Why not just put half of that crap in a diaper bag and carry that?" BECAUSE that would end up adding MORE to carry! And who the hell wants to carry MORE than all THAT??? Not this girl... I DO have a diaper bag that I keep in the car for when I need it... It's contents are almost as much as my purse but they all pertain to the baby.. (Extra outfit, baby powder, lotion, band aids, wipes, food and of course diapers among other things..) Or you might be thinking this.. "Just clean your bag every night or simply don't LET anyone put anything in your bag or get a smaller bag!" Let me answer that with... YEAH RIGHT!!!!!! Clean it every night... No thanks! By the time I get home and get the damn thing off my arms, it sits alone on the shelf until I need it again. I already have three kids and a husband to tend to at the end of the day... I don't need another time slot added for a bag... And not letting them.. Hmm... I agree with the phrase "Choose your battles" and though most times when I catch them trying to stuff something in their for THEIR convenience, some times, I just want to hurry up at wherever I am so we can all just get the hell out of there safely and sanely. (For the most part anyway!) Lastly, a smaller bag..? Seriously... I also believe (to a degree) that it's better to have it and not need then to need it and not have it... Obviously I don't pack up my whole house in there but come on.. Band aids and hand sanitizer.. with kids... Uh, yeah... I think that's ok! That and I also like having the option to be able to smuggle in full bags of candy into the movie theater when I go. Not that I actually DO THAT.... Just.. like having the option....   It's crazy because I will have just cleaned my purse out and then go to the store and both my kids AND my husband act as if it's a "DUMP ALL YOUR CRAP HERE!" kind of thing and before I know it, my neat and tidy bag is full of gum wrappers, hair wear, jewelry they changed their minds about, baby toys, cups, mail, and oh my goodness it just goes on and on... They throw it in and I get strap imprints on my freaking shoulder. :/ Oh to be a mom.... I'm going to go ahead and get all this crap out of here just like I did last week... Wish me luck! -Super Mom

Getting ready for a dinner date.. Guys vs Girls....

You already know from the title what the topic is.. If you have ever rolled your eyes in disgust at the thought of this title then you should know exactly where I'm going to go with it.. I'm going to give you a quick guy vs girl look at getting ready to go out on a nice dinner date with your person... In MY case anyway (and MANY others too I'm sure... and if not.. you all suck...) :) Keep in mind that the little scenario here is leaving OUT all the extra fun the kids and everyday life dispense... with all THAT we'd have a small book! So we'll just stick to the title for today and try not to mix it in with everything else...Also keep in mind that my husband and I "go out" alone MAYBE three times a year.. and so yes.. it feels like we're actually DATING when we go. That's how rare it is to be somewhere together without kids, toys, bottles and diaper bags...  Here we go...



A week before the date....

Me: "How about we get a sitter and go out to eat just the two of us this weekend.."

Husband: "Sounds good. Where do you want to go?"

Me: "Hmm... I'll think about it."

Husband: "Ok."



Four days before the date....

Me thinking: Do I want to wear a dress... or a skirt.. Or this... No.. Ooooo... THIS! If I could just... get it.. ON... There.. Oh yeah.. I would date me.. Wait.. what the.. a HOLE? Seriously?!? Damn it!!! No...... AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGG! *Throws not so perfect outfit in the back of the closet before leaving and watching a show*



Three days before the date....

Me calling husband: "Where do you think we should go to eat? It's up to you."

Husband: "Umm... Olive Garden?"

Me: "hmm... Not really feeling THAT.... or Chinese... or Mexican... anything else though..."

Husband: "So... McDonalds?"

Me: "Hahaha... No. Not McDonalds. I don't know.. maybe... something with steak and salad? I don't know."

Husband: "We'll figure something out I'm sure.."

Me: "Ok ok... love you bye."

Husband: "love you, bye."




The day before the date....

Me thinking: I should've bought a dress... But I don't always wear them.. I'll just do a skirt.. With THIS shirt maybe... Oh my God I need to paint my toenails! That's bad...  and why... Man I wish my legs weren't so freaking WHITE! I look like I have a disease or something.. I think I'm too white for a vampire even.. Freaking Twilight! Better white than super hairy I guess.. Nope, not going with a skirt!  Maybe I'll wear pants... Dressy pants with a cute top... But WHICH top... This is so f***ing annoying! Maybe we'll just hit a drive thru alone.. Ooooo.. how romantic... BLAH! This sucks... I can't find what I want!! *as I rifle through smashed together hanging garments in my bursting closet...* Whatever.. I still have tomorrow. *Give up and leave the room.*



The morning of the date....

Me thinking: Holy shit, look at that hair! I need spray.. my straightener.. I should've straightened yesterday... Whoa... I need HELP is what I need.. *Start straightening hair for the first time...*

Later...

Me thinking: Why does my hair look really good on one side and poofy on the other? Grrr... Stay DOWN! *Applying spray and straightening hair for the second time* Ok.. find the top.... Too big.. too tight.. too blah... Ahhh... here we go.. Got the shirt.. got the pants.. got the.. shoe? Where the hell is the other shoe.... Girls!!!!! *Go to daughters bedroom.. rifle through the closet, toy box, under the bed...* Ah ha! In the Lego box.. Why wouldn't it be in the Lego box... *Go back to my room..*

Me calling husband: "are you getting off work at the normal time (5pm) and do you want to eat around 6?"

Husband: "I should be and sure."


Later....


My getting ready.... Time lapse of about... 45-60 minutes..

Jump in the shower and NOT getting my previously straightened hair wet, get out, put on pants, shirt (after the underwear things of course), go to the vanity start the makeup... Foundation, bronzer, blush, eye shadow, eye liner. Hmm.. Mascara..? Sure.. Mascara. Get in the jewelry drawer for a bracelet, a nice watch, a necklace and earrings... Look in the mirror.. See semi poofy hair.. Go for round three with the straightener... Spray hair.. Grab deodorant then perfume... Last minute look in the mirror.. Good. Glance at the clock.. should be here any time.. Grab my heels, slip them on, grab some lip gloss for a quick shine.. Done... About damn time...

Husband gets home and gets ready... Time lapse of no more than... 10 minutes.. and that's a stretch...

He jumps in the shower, grabs shampoo, rinses and gets out, towel dry's hair, adds gel and slicks it into place with his fingers.. Hair is done... Goes to his closet and grabs some dark jeans and a solid black shirt.. Puts them on.. Grabs socks.. Puts them on.. Same with shoes... Goes and puts on deodorant and a spritz of cologne... Throws a watch on and guess what... he's DONE!


I look at him and think "My God he looks good..." and then think "God being a woman sucks some times... Here I am getting ready and thinking about this night for DAYS and he gets in and out of the shower and his closet in under ten minutes ready to go... What a load of......."

So yeah... I usually have to touch up the hair AGAIN before we stroll out. Isn't that just the way... So much for a special night.. SO much time and effort for an hour or two to fly by... Yeah.. Some times.. Being a woman just sucks! And as usual.. Men have it so easy..... Suckers. Still love the time though. And thankfully, he doesn't ever NOT tell me I'm not looking good! (Is that right? lol) So at least my prep time (MAJOR PREP TIME) and effort never go unnoticed! ;)

Hoping I'm not the only one out there with this problem... You know who you are! :) Happy Monday everyone!!! -Super Mom

Thank you random citizens...

Even with all of the crazy stuff going on with people these days, I still believe that there are really good people left in the world. I try to be one myself when I can and it makes me happy knowing that I have helped someone..   When I say "good", I don't mean that they do EVERYTHING for EVERYONE all the time with no hesitation. I mean a person willing to do something, even something SMALL, without worrying or hesitating. I, like any other person, have run into several a-holes and rude people...My interactions with THESE kind of people have been like this...

-They grab a cart when I'm about to put my hands on it..
-They pull into a parking space I've been waiting to park in..
-They stand in line for a minute then quickly jump into the newly opened overflow lane even though I've been waiting for 10 minutes..
-They stare at me or give me dirty looks while I walk around alone or with my kids...
-They are in front of me in a checkout line and complain about EVERYTHING so they can try to get a deal they don't deserve making waiting even longer...
-They say stupid and ignorant things knowing I can hear them...

And so on... THAT list could go ON AND ON.... and on...

But NOW I want to throw a big THANK YOU! to all of those strangers who have honestly helped me when they didn't have to.. but did anyway..

Thank you to....

-The very tall man in Wal-Mart who helped me get juice from the back of the very top shelf! (I'm vertically challenged.. I would've had to climb...)
-The sporty looking woman who held the door open for me and the stroller at the post office! (Because we all know how fun THAT can be alone...)
-The guy who threw in a free breadstick bag because my pizza took longer than expected! (Who doesn't like that???)
-The man in the booth across from me who grabbed my daughters sippy cup before it could roll away at Texas Roadhouse.
-The lady who took my cart after I unloaded my groceries in the car so I wouldn't have to walk it back into the store with the baby.

That was just five examples of five sweet people who did little things that made me smile. And that was just in the last 8 days! :) It should be a goal that someone should do something nice for someone else every day or at least the days where they are able to.. It's a crazy thought but sometimes even the smallest favor or help make the biggest difference in someone's day.. I'm grateful to those random people out there who have helped me when there was nothing in it for them for doing so other than receiving my thanks. I wish there were more of you out there for me to run into and I hope that someone has thought that about me even once. I read this somewhere and totally agree...

"If you wait until you can do everything for everybody, instead of something for somebody, you'll end up doing nothing for nobody.."

Think about THAT! ;) Have a great night Super People!!! -Super Mom