Sometimes you wake up (even if it IS slightly earlier than you had planned) with every intention of having a great day. You don't let the fact that the sink is full of last nights dishes or the kids dirty laundry is forming a path down the hall from the bathroom stop you from putting a smile on the almost put together face you have. It doesn't even REALLY bother you that your sock mops up the little drips of water someone spilled and left on the floor. You just keep pushing on with the morning hustle of breakfast and prepping lunches. The baby smearing milk soaked cheerios into her hair is no big deal because you, being on the ball in the beginning of this WONDERFUL day, are ready and waiting with a wet cloth for a wipe down! You go through the normal checklist like a good mom - "Do you have your lunches?" -- Yes mom. - "Do you have your reading books?" -- Yes mom. -"Do you have your homework in your bag?" --Yes mom. Ok! Kisses and hugs and wave good bye from the door! Clean up what's left of breakfast then put the dishes in the dish washer from the night before before you go to the dining room table and see your daughters homework... Run to the door to see if they still happen to be in the driveway by chance... Of course they're NOT. So now, you have to make the decision... Do you be the REALLY nice mom and take the homework to school so she doesn't get marked down for not having it... or not take it in and let her get the negative for forgetting even AFTER she said she had it... You decide to go... It's 7:47 and class starts at 8. It's also 34 degrees outside and you have your husbands truck instead of your jeep so you KNOW it won't be any kind of warm for at least 20 minutes.. You don't HAVE 20 minutes! You get the baby in her biggest coat, fuzziest socks and fleece lined hat before you grab your bag, the HOMEWORK and the keys. Adjust the seat because clearly you, unlike your husband, are NOT over 6 feet tall, turn the key and off you go seeing every breath you take all the way to school... Get there, unbuckle the baby from the car seat, grab everything and go. Turn it in, CHECK, and go back out 40 seconds later just to put the baby BACK in the seat and go. It's 8:02... you have to pick up a door from the store you purchased it from yesterday at 9:30... the baby is due for her nap around the same time... You wait at the stop sign waiting for your turn to turn when all of a sudden you hear the sweet warning chime and see the glow of the GAS LIGHT coming on... "He always gives me crap if MY gas is low!" you think, but even still... the gas station is right up the street... You decide to be nice and fill 'er up! While waiting for the gas tank to fill... you notice how incredibly dirty the windshield is... Man those wipers look worn! He bought new wipers and they've been sitting on a shelf for months... maybe I could... BEEP, tank is full 30 dollars later. You get in and decide your other nice deed is to clean the truck after you get the door and then not leave the rest of the day. How do you kill time between now and 9:30..? You notice that he should really have the magnetic phone holder like you do in YOUR car. Sure... He'll like that.. Off to Target. Stroll around Target with the baby in the front.. the arms.. the basket.. She's content only if she's digging through your purse.. digging and pulling out whatever she likes.. receipts.. gum.. lipstick.. she flings a random list over the side and as it hits the floor she's discovered it was funny and it's now a game! There goes a tissue to the floor.. a receipt to the floor.. the KEYS! Back to the seat... check out, load everything and her up, now it's 9:10. Hmm.. in there for a minute.... She's crabby because she's more than ready for that nap. The store doesn't open for 20 more minutes... Do you go home and put her in bed so you have to get up and go AGAIN when she wakes up... Or do you go and get it over with...? Of course you go... to the store. You attempt to wipe off the dash with some wipes you probably didn't NEED but picked up at Target on a whim while in the car needs aisle. As it goes from white to black you keep wiping while checking the clock and singing to the baby... FINALLY it's open... Get her out, go in, tell them what you need help with... "Just drive around back and we'll load it up for you.." Ok... By now your SUPER GREAT DAY has ticked down a few clicks to Probable good day.. But seeing as how you have no choice... you agree and head back out to put her BACK into the seat she does NOT want to sit in anymore just so you can drive around the block and park in the back of the building... You do it.. The doors are all closed.. You get out, see a doorbell that says "ring for service" so you push it.. Nothing happens.. You turn as you see a, no, two trucks coming IN the way you need to eventually go OUT and park in front of you.. Ring the bell again. The door opens, the old guy hears what you're picking up (twice..) and a tall guy says he'll bring it right out. Help him lift the door into the truck.. Get into the truck.. Oh yeah, you're blocked in.. Right. Meanwhile in the backseat... The exhausted baby starts throwing her socks and screaming. You can't take it anymore so you get out and approach one of the trucks drivers who's doing nothing but propping himself on the side of his ride and ask him to move out of the way JUST a little bit.. Thankfully, he does. You get out, drive home, unload the baby and head inside. Change her diaper, warm up some milk, turn on the music and slip out as she drifts off. What to do now... Oh yes.. Your husbands messy truck... After 45 minutes of combing through old receipts, gum wrappers, half empty bottles and other miscellaneous crap, you've cleaned the car enough to bring in the vacuum. After you get all the dirt and leaves out, you scale on top of the hood, clean the windshield, (yes, it needed it!) replace his wipers he's had for months, get back in the truck, install the phone mount and spruce up his tools and everything else he needs in there and finally (FINALLY), you're done! You admire your work for ten seconds thinking how sweet it looks even though you KNOW it will only be like that for MAYBE three days.. And that's a stretch. Back inside you go for a quick lunch before the baby is up again. Since you're not SUPER hungry, you go to the freezer for one of those tiny 1 serving dinners that takes all of five minutes to make. Pop it in the microwave, hit 5 and go to the couch. This moment of not doing anything is so nice, you don't want to get up to retrieve your food. Eventually you move your ass out of the barely made ass groove and walk to the kitchen. As if on cue... you reach for the door handle to the microwave then all of a sudden... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hey looky there... SHE'S AWAKE! You set the pitiful tray of mac and cheese on the counter and head to the bedroom. There she stands.. crying with a face full of runny snot... Mmmm.... Grabbing a Kleenex, you wipe her off, take her out and as you're holding her in your arm, you notice that your sleeve now feels wet... As you turn her around, you already know why... Whatever was in her diaper had soaked through her clothes and onto yours.. PERFECT! You strip her down and head to the bathroom. Of course it's not just pee.. Click, click... goes your chipper meter... Not up either.. After you've mopped up that situation, you soap up a warm wash cloth and scrub her down. After she's clean and dressed again with a diaper you've checked three times, you set her down with her toys while YOU strip off the gross shirt and do a self wipe down. Why does the smell LINGER so long?!? Dry off, get dressed, pick her up to get her ready for some lunch...
Seeing as how you aren't that hungry still (even less after that explosion you had to tend to) you decide to give her some of the mac and cheese and add some cut up hot dog pieces next to it. You set her in her high chair and give her little bits at a time. You start eating what's left in your little tray and everything seems to be going smoothly until you look at her and she's smiling. BIG. She holds her hand over the edge of the tray and starts giggling. "Don't even think about it.." You whisper. Of course that warning does... NOTHING and shortly after saying it, the first piece of hot dog falls to the floor. Following that comes a handful of macaroni.. then hot dog... then the spoon. CLICK. You declare lunch time officially over and try to NOT grit your teeth while hearing her high pitched scream as you wipe her off and scoop up her tossed lunch from the floor. Between lunch and dinner, your dial has clicked even more due to being sneezed on, dropping a glass full of milk on the floor, stubbing your toe on the coffee table, grabbing your chewed ear buds from the dogs mouth, wondering who left a bag of doritos under the table so the baby could get them, telling everyone you're having spaghetti for dinner when you have no sauce, stepping on a pee diaper that was left on the floor after asking your daughter to throw it away..... After dinner (which ended up being a free for all meaning four separate little meals for the four other people due to the lack of sauce and severe lack of enthusiasm to go get some leaving you the only one not eating anything because you're too ran down...) your husband offers to give the baby a bath, the other girls get their showers and brush their teeth, he helps you clean up the randomness in the kitchen and then asks the most ridiculous question he could at the time... "How was your day?" You stop your robotic cloth wiping on the counter and just look at him. You can feel your eyes getting squinty as you just stare at him. You realize that he knows EXACTLY how your day went and before daggers started shooting him down, he takes a step forward and hugs you. You tried.. You tried SO HARD to have that super great day but as it sometimes happens.. Life backhanded you and gave you a big I DON'T THINK SO! The baby eventually went to bed, so did the bigger girls and you got to sit on the couch in a heating blanket with three episodes that had been saved on your DVR with a glass (or half bottle...) of wine. Maybe you didn't achieve the all wonderful Disney day you'd hoped for but still... you wouldn't trade an ounce of your crazy to be like somebody else... True stories all around! I know at least SOME of you can relate! Have a good one! -Super Mom
